[RPOPPIES]

I was just wondering since my Birthday falls on mothersDay this year and every year right around. Can some of you birthmothers tell me what it is like for you not knowing where that child is or how their life is going? Do you yearn to ever know your child that you gave up? Do you remember the day they were born? Through your hearts and eyes maybe I will find some comfort in not knowing my birthmother.

Thank you,
Geni

[Decision]

Not a day goes by that my thoughts are on my son that I lost in adoption, it is especially hard around his birthday, I am forever wondering how he is and what he is doing. It is not so bad around mothers day, but I do wonder if he thinks of me on this day. I hope one day to find out
formerly
a_mothers_love

[RPOPPIES]

Thank You for your reply. Not a Birthday of mine or a mothers day goes by that I don't think of her.Usually my birthdays are sad ones not knowing who she is and I will be turning 41. I think of her too.

[sspete]

I have thought of my bdaughter so many times during the last nineteen years it is just incredible. I really felt as if a piece of my heart was missing. Her bdays were so hard on me!! I truly missed her VERY much. Seeing her after she was born will be forever imprinted on my brain. Yes, it never goes away. A mothers love is forever! Mother's Day I thought of her many times, and hoped her and her amom were having a great day. I have recently found her, and now I know that she has had a great life as I knew she would!! There seems to be such a feeling of continment when you locate them and know that they are safe and happy. Hope this helps. Many blessings to you. s pete

[ljgms]

I always think of my son and wonder how he is .Is he happy? and I wonder, does he think of me? can he ever know how deeply I love him. Or maybe he hates me. Sometimes the pain of not knowing is so extreme it literally feels like I could die. How i wish I could see his face and hear his voice I pray God will let us come together again. The missed years we can never recover.

[LadyDyan1]

As a Birthmom I can tell you there is not a day that goes by that we don't think of our lost children. The cost of someone's joy is the never ending pain we endure each and every day. The holidays are empty, and we think about each and every accomplishment our child makes in their growing years. The longing to find and reunite with our children never ends. The tears never dry and the heart ache never ends. Even if there is the Blessing of reuniting. I know. After 21 yrs. I found and reunited with my son. One of the greatest things in my life to happen! Yet the guilt still weighs for so many years of separation.

Are you searching for your mother? Do you want to search? Is there anything I can do to help you? May you find peace and best of everything to you!

[Krystal1978]

HI I am an adoptee age 25 I have been lookign fo rmy mother for the last 7 yrs. I think of her always most of the tiem I htink of her on my birthday adn holidays Most important on Mothers Day! I woudl hope that she thinks of me and one day she will find me or i will find her. I miss her even though i do not know her nor anything about her. To those mother s out there who do not know where thier children are God has kept them safe As he does with all his children and one day I wish that you can find your lovign daughter or son. I wish you all the best > God Bless and Happy Mothers Day!!!
Krystal1978
born Jan 7 1978
Wilson memorial Hospital
Johnson City New York

[geegee]

I placed a beautiful baby girl for adoption 15 years ago. My mother still gets me flowers every year on her birthday (also around mothers day!!) . It is a beautiful affirmation of life and the grace of God to bring us through everything. My mom also has a picture of her with the rest of her grandkids.

My first experience of adoption (placing a child) was actually a joy. My family was supportive, I was 'involved' in selecting the parents and felt a peace about the decision.

I am now at the other end of the experience. My husband and I are trying to adopt. I now see the opposite side of the process and I am glad I didn't know all of this back then.

My adoption was a driving force in my life to become successful. I am looking forward to the day when the little girl I gave birth to can see my career, my community involvement, and my joy. I look forward to seeing the beautiful person she has become also.

Thank you for your beautiful words and interest in your birth mother. I am sure she would be so proud to see you have become such a thoughtful person.

Take care,
G

[cbaxas]

I should have never read this post at work. 2nd trip to go splash water on my face. I think the words from everyone here has affirmed my thought "does she ever think about me?". I love my Mother very much, and she has always been open about me searching for my Birth Mother (though I know it is somewhat painful for her). I am 37 today, and probably have been the most emotional I have ever been, don't know why. Thanks for eveyones input, it is so very important for Adoptees' to know that in one way or another, we are remembered.

Chris Baxas 5/2/66
Miami, FL

[May]

Well, I'm in a semi-open adoption, so a few times a year I don't have to wonder how my daughter's doing, because I know she's doing well.

I definitely think about her every day. Sometimes for a week or so, an hour can't go by without me thinking of her. Other times, I just think about her once in a day. I never pass up an opportunity to talk about her with people I'm close to.

I can't know for sure, but I think your birthmom thinks about you too, and hopes you're doing well.

[Sharon]

There is not a birthmother alive who doesn't think about her child, yours included. It's ironic that so many birthmoms (especially older ones) were advised to "forget it and go on with your life". It's not humanly possible to forget the experience of carrying a child in your body, giving birth to it, and letting it go. I'll bet your birthmother thinks of you not just on your birthday, but a lot of other days as well, and always with love. Sincerely, Sharon

[Birthmommy]

I know myself as a Birthmother, even with my adoptions open. I still think about all my birthkids ALL the time. I can't imagine not knowing, I don't think I could do that. I think about MY birthmother who placed me. And doesn't know where I am or that I am ok, or that I passed the gift of life she gave me on. I so badly just want to let her know that I AM ok, and that I am so grateful to her for making the choice she did.

-Angel

[Susan Souza]

Hi Geni,

From the moment I left my baby girl at the hospital, in 1968, I never forgot her, not for one single day of her life. Birthdays and holidays were extremely difficult for me, having no idea where she was or how she was doing. Not having anyone to talk to about only made it worse.

I cannot express the happiness and relief I feel, now that she is back in my life. We were reunited when she was 30 years old, in 1999.

If you would like to chat, my email address is mama_mazenga@thesamesmile.com I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have.

Hugs, Susan Souza
Author - The Same Smile
The Triumph of a Mother's Love After Losing Two Daughters
www.thesamesmile.com

[Dixierae]

Hi, Iam a birthmom who finally knows where the child is
not a good reuion, but I know where mine is,

BUT WANTED TO SAY THERE WASNT A DAY THAT WENT BY THAT I DIDNT THINK OR WONDER,,,


WE DONT JUST ACT STUPID AND CARRY FOR 9 MONTHS TO FORGET
I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR BIRTHMOTHER, AND THE TWO OF YOU HAVE MANY MOTHERS DAYS TOGATHER

BUT JUST KNOW YOUR NEVER FORGOTTEN

[RPOPPIES]

i JUST REALLY WANTED TO THANK ALL OF THE BIRTHMOTHERS WHO HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO REPLY TO THIS POST. THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF NOT KNOWING IS A COMMON BOND MOST ADOPTEES AND BIRTHMOTHERS SHARE. I WILL BE 41 ON SUNDAY AND THEIR STILL REMAINS THAT MISSING PEICE OF NOT KNOWING MY BIRTHMOTHER. ONCE AGAIN THANKYOU FOR YOUR RESPONSE.THROUGH YOUR HEARTS AND WORDS PERHAPS I KNOW HERS.

GENI