[Lewey]

I'm just wondering if there are any birthmother's my age (40) who are having a baby or want a baby and if this would be the first after relinquishment. My bson is 22, we have reunited, unfortunately our reunion is at a standstill, however even before I found my son, I was thinking of having another child (I never had another child after relinquishment), my husband and I have been married for 20 years, but now I'm worried that I'm too old or that I'm just trying to replace my son after all these years, I also have a slight female problem that has to be fixed, but it can be taken care of, but I really think deep down I'm just scared.

Lewey

Dear Lewey,
I am a new birthmom at 44 yrs old. Although my situation is different because I already have 3 wonderful teenagers. When I discovered I was pregnant a year ago I was shocked...I thought I was too old! The pregnancy was hard on me, but it was worth every minute! Our son was born strong and healthy, and on Christmas Eve he went home with his new family. Although I still wrestle with the decision, deep down I know he will be given a better life with his new parents, more than what I could.

One thing I've learned from my other 3 children is that you can never replace one with another! They are all unique and individual people. If you are serious about having a baby now, make sure you are prepared for the personal sacrifices of raising a child. I must admit I am burned out as a mom (so I knew I couldn't cope with starting all over again), but at the same time I am starting to reap the rewards of all the hard work and sacrifices.

Talk to your OB/GYN, then relax! I've also learned that the more stressed you are the less chance you will conceive. Being a parent is hard work, and it's ok to be scared.....all new parents are! Most importantly...do what YOU want, not what others tell you to do!

The decision you made 22 years ago to relinquish your son was based on what was happening in your life then, and what you felt was best for him. If you want to bring another life into this world, then it should be because your ready now to take on the responsibilty of teaching, guiding and caring for a totally new person over the next 18 years (at least).

Besides if Madonna can have her first child at 40....why not us!!!

Good Luck

[saj]

Hey Lewey,

Over 40 is not too old to have a child. Look around you at many of the pregnant women and couples with tots in tow. If you are healthy, and you and your husband want to start a family......go for it!!!!!!!

[Vetteemt]

Just my 2 cents.

I've just found my B-mom and we are doing non-ident letter writing now, but probably will be moving to personal contact sometime. Anyways I found out that she just had a girl about a year and a half ago and she is 41. I’m 23 and think its cool that I’m a big half brother.

[Sharon]

My mother had her third child at forty. I was already an adult by that time. Her pregnancy was uncomplicated and uneventful, even though it was sixteen years since she'd last borne a child. My younger half-sister was born healthy and normal, despite all the warnings. Best of luck to you! Sharon

[sspete]

Lewey--I think it would be great to have a child if you really want to become a mother. Sometime the older we are the more we appreciate the joys of mothehood. Somehow, older moms seem a lot more patient with their kids. I do believe this is because they have lived long enough to know what REALLY matters. I wish you the best!! Let us know what you decide. You are in my prayers.

[reneeof3]

I'm 47 with an 8 month old, two grown daughters one that just had a baby and I feel blessed to be an adoptive mom and a grandma at the same time! It's wonderful, and I would do it all over again!!!!!!!

[Lewey]

Great News!! My husband and I have decided to try and have a child, pray that the fertility God is looking on us kindly.

Lewey

[Kellster]

Hi Lewey,

I was so happy to read your post- GO FOR IT! Take your folic acid and relax and have fun! You will be a great mom- more years of living mean that you will have more wisdom to share and a better understanding of what is/isn't important. I hope to hear more good news soon!

Kelly