[Lorie]

You know I have never heard of another LDS Birth Mom speak of how they were treated until I found this websits. It seems like now that Birth Moms are coming out of the woodwork and expressing themselves. I was told for so many years "respect the church" and "don't talk about your wrong doings". We are human we do make mistakes.. should we have have to carry the shame of "betraying the church" on top of dealing with adoption which to me is like handing over my soul...You feel empty nothing you can do will ever fill that void. So when you combine the two I feel lost. I am glad that the church is finally seeing that Birth Moms are a priority and I am glad that LDSFS has come around to support them...but for me personally it's a little to late.

I was raised in the church. Today I have 2 brothers that are elders and my mother goes to the Temple almost every weekend. Luckly now they respect my decision on being inactive and are trying to understand. My family loves me very much and I know that my Heavenly Father loves me...I speak with him everyday about my pain and hurt...but at the same time he is teaching me through trials in my life to forgive...I am glad that my daughter is with an LDS family I belive they have good morals and intensions when it comes to raising children. I have met many Aparents on this forum that give me chills and hope that my daughter is with the same kind of family.

I am still healing and it will take awhile...I wait for the day that the pain will just let up for a minute but I carry it with me daily. My daughter is in my prayers..."send her my love straight to her heart, let her know that I love and miss her dearly" for 17 years.

I don't know what the Lord has in store for me..it's taken me 17 years to figure out why I been so emtionally drained and this year 2003 I uncovered the emotions that I had for my daughter and have finally realised that it's o.k. to miss her and it's o.k. to hurt and cry...I never had that! It came from within me. I am a survivor of mental,physical, sexual, abuse and the loss of my daughter...I receive the strength from God.

My pryaers are with Birth Parents struggling with "the not knowing" that one day they will be reunited with their Birth Child andy my prayers go out to the Aparents waiting and wanting a child, that they may receive that "precious gift".

The way I handle with the "not knowing" and how I deal with the emptiness...knowing that I was able to provide a family with a "gift of love" in my situation truely there was no way I could have provided for my child, safety was a big issue... I almost miscarried because of the abuse. So I knew in my heart that she would be placed in a "safe and loving" home.. I wanted her to have the life I "never" had. So, the "gift of love" was true sacrifice...she was the only person in my life, at the time, that I truely loved...I carried my precious gift for 9 months and placed her with a family that would love her just as much as I do. Amen to the Birth Parents for the sacrifice and scars they carry and Amen to the Aparents that have so much love to give to the children that are out there waiting...and a BIG AMEN to the Adoptees who long to know who they are and where they belong. Hopefully there will be a day that we all can be reunited.

Thank you for reading my thoughts...
God Bless
Birth Mom
Lorie

[mintshastagrape]

i have a few friends who are lds and they said basically the same thing you said. one of them got pregnant and because of this her bishop excommunicated. i dont think thats very loving of a christian church. now she goes to a baptist church. she ended up keeping her baby.