[irishlassie]

I am an adult adoptee and have recently been reunited with my birth siblings however both my birth parents are deceased. I am 35 years old and never once during my life did i want to meet my birth family, my adopted parents have never told me I was adopted I found this out by accident years ago and never bothered about it, in fact I have probably blocked it out. my problem is now, that I cannot accept this new family and feel I am loosing my own mind. I have a full brother who was adopted at birth too but I have 7 half brothers and sisters on my birth mothers side and another 11 on my birth fathers side. I would love to hear from others who have gone through the feeling of wanting to walk away and forget this ever happened. By the way my siblings from my birth mother's side are wonderful people and have accepted both my brother and I, we have yet to contact the family on our birth fathers side. I have no problem with my full brother but this is maybe because we have both gone through the same thing. please help!

[vicrose]

Wow, what a big family!!! I am adult adoptee myself, and I would love to meet my birthfamily. At this time, it may seem a little overwhelming to find out you have so many brothers and sisters, and this is a normal reaction. If I was you, I wouldn't turn your family away, just try to ease into meeting you family. It's almost summertime, how about a family reunion? This way everyone could meet each other, I'm sure they are very anxious to meet you. But, do whatever feels right for you, don't let anyone force you into a meeting that you are not comfortable with. That's why I suggested a family reunion, because everyone would all meet at the same time. Sincerely, Brenda

[irishlassie]

Hi Brenda thanks for your reply but problem is I have met half of them and their families and i cant bring myself to go again, I am trying to take each day as it comes but finding myself more and more moving away from them. I'm scared to let them into my life and can't explain why.

[litlbear6886]

I went through a long spell of hating anything that had to do with being adopted and my birth families. In my case, I see it had a lot to do with feeling unloved and unwanted. No matter how great my afamily was in making me feel a permanent part of their family, I never felt right about anything. So in the end, I put up barriers so I could never be hurt by people leaving me, I'd either not have anything to do with them or I'd leave before I got hurt.
But my adopted cousin was completely the opposite. He was always very secure in his love for and from the adopted family, and to this day has never felt that he needs to find his bfamily.
I do want to say, that no matter which situation, both afamilies were great, it was more the feelings inside of each adopted child.