[jmac66]

Ok so I was recently found by my bmom and I now have 2 full sibs and 5 half sibs. At our reunion we discussed the idea about what to say when people ask how many sibs u have. I have 2 sibs in my a fam but do I now include my bfam? I am a 42y/o single mom so the only time I can think of when it would matter would be if I start a new realtionship

[seabreeze45]

At the reunion tell the story, they all know you. When you meet someone new at first I would say what you had (how many siblings) before you knew your birth family. When the relationship develops then you could tell the whole story (about additional siblings and the fact your adopted). No reason to sweat over details if the relationship goes nowhere... Maybe its me but reading a lot of these posts makes me wonder. When I meet someone I dont say my name is Joe and I'm adopted.. I just say I'm Joe.
If someone asks me if I was adopted I have no problems saying I was. It actually is funny if asked and I say that I was adopted then sometimes they actually say "I'm sorry" ...lol

[Amandak249]

I have 8 birthsiblings, and one brother (the biological child of my adoptive parents)

I say I have one brother to evryone I meet who asks. All those who know me well enough already know about my adoption, but I don't mention my birthsiblings in any other context except when discussing my adoption.

I have not had a good experience with my birthsiblings on the whole. I am sure none of them mention me either.

[jmac66]

So far I am really enjoying my new sibs. They seem like old friends. I guess the question is more a future thing. If I continue to develop our relationship I dont want to leave them out but I also dont want to disrespect my A-FAm

[laceflower]

Relationship with birthsiblings is so difficult. I found out about my adoption when I was 45 years old, 12 years ago. I have 3 birthsiblings and am only on good terms with 1 of them. Even she and I had a falling out for 5 years but fortunately, now have found peace with each other. I know I'll never resume a relationship with my other 2 birthsiblings. It's sad but a fact of life.

[bakerjw]

My one real strong hope is that if I ever meet my birth mother that I find out that I do have a full sibling. Brother or sister doesn't matter. It'd just really be nice to know that that I had one. I have my adopted sister who was the center of my world after I was adopted but it isn't the same.

My wife has an aunt who has 3 children from different fathers. The middle one was put up for adoption and a few years back found her birth mom (my wifes aunt). She quickly realized that he half sisters were not the kinds of people that you get too close to. They steal from everyone including their own mother. Trailer trash comes to mind. So not all reunions go smooth with sibs.

[ewooster]

I met my birth mom when I was 18 years old. She called me only days after my birthday. Anyway, I met her and later her 9 children. I am the only one with a different father. I didn't keep in touch with the kids, or my bmom until recently. I am now 37 years old and one of my biological half brothers came to visit me last summer. I had such strange emotions form excitement to great sadness. I had just recently had my first child and I now feel such a sense of empathy for my bmom that I NEVER felt before. In fact, I was so against having any relationship with her at all. But the kids, that was, and still is, different. At any rate, I've been in contact with 2 of the 9. I met them all only once, and I was 18...almost 20 years ago!

[sal]

I've said that I had an older brother that I grew up with. My birthmother had 4 other children besides me that I didn't grow up with. I give details if they ask. I don't mention the 5 other birthsiblings that my bfather had since they have chosen not to have a relationship with me. If anyone presses me for more details I give them. I'm done with the secrets...it's a different truth than other people...but it's MINE!

[epenn922]

When my husband and I were first dating and he asked about my family, I just said, 'you may need a pencil and paper for this.'

[jmac66]

oo thats a good one

[sal]

You should have added....AND there will be a quiz! lol

[ocracoke]

It is never an an easy question to answer for me either. I have 5 birth siblings and 1 half birth sibling (different father). One of my birth siblings and I were adopted and raised together. All my other birth siblings were adopted into different families. I became close with some of the adoptive siblings of my birth siblings. And then my adad remarried when I was a teenager and they had 2 bio kids (when I was 18 and 21). So I have 1 or 3 or 6 or 8 or I can't remember. When people ask I just respond with "do you want the simple version or the Soap Opera version?"

Samantha

[radmom65]

I tell everyone it's easier if I draw you a picture.

I have 8 siblings - 4 adoptive siblings and 4 bio siblings. The hardest part for me is that growing up, I was the youngest of 5 children, I had 1 older sister and 3 older brothers - but when I found out I was adopted, it turned out I had 2 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers. I was born the oldest of 5 and I was raised the youngest of 5. and 5 of them have died. I have lost all 3 of my adoptive brothers and with the death of the last one (who was actually my bio father) - I disassociated myself from my adoptive sister. I also lost my bio brother - he was my best friend and the only one who could really relate to the whole adoption thing - I'm lost without him - and I lost 1 of my bio sisters. I knew of her but never had the chance to meet her. Now, the last 3 years have been spent trying to form a relationship with the other surving bio sister - but it's just so different. We knew each other growing up but through circumstances and all kinds of crazy things - I had to make her my enemy and deny her as a sister - now we're trying to bridge a 30+ year old gap - it's very difficult. As for my other bio brother - he's kind of lost and I don't think there's a chance for any kind of relationship other than "he's my brother and I'm his sister". We'll just never know things about each other.

So, I have literally gone from having 8 siblings to 2 - try explaining all that to someone when they ask!

That's why I tell them, I'll have to draw you a picture!!

[EES07]

I have 3 full biological siblings and 1 adopted sibling. I moved to live near my biological family so I generally just say 3 siblings since I'm much closer to my bio family. Sometimes I'll say 4 if I anticipate getting to know someone and telling the story someday.