[jlsf]

I'm a little confused on what role I should play in my brothers life. I contacted him a few weeks ago, via my space, we have been talking frequently on the phone and through email. He never knew about me, but I have always known about him. I have never met my b-mom ( his mom) but we have talked several times over the past 18 years, and it has always been difficult for her. I made the decision to contact him, because I knew she would never tell him. Anyway, he's seems ok with everything, but I know that emotions can run very high during a reunion. I have been in contact with my b-dad for several years and experienced them first hand. Our sister does not know about me yet.

Long story short, my b-mom has put them through a lot. And I believe most of her depression, running off, etc, stems from her "secret" and guilt. Recently her behavior has become worse. He has been calling me a lot, just wanting to vent...Should I just listen or offer advise. I am very confused. I have always thought of these two as my brother and sister and love them with all my heart. I just worry about over stepping my bounds too quickly and scaring him away. So far I've let him take the lead...

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[DebsW]

One of my very good friends never offiers advice, but I hear her saying (all the time), "I would encourage you to........" She never tells anyone what to do, but she lets you know she is in your corner by "encouraging".

I have used this in the past and it really works well, it is not telling someone what you think they should do, it also helps me if I am frustrated with my inability to help someone. I can encourage them and if the don't want to do what I suggest then that's ok, and they don't feel like they are being told what to do.

I think you brother may be looking for your guidance, he is reaching out.

DebsW