[block78]

I met my birthmother when is was 18. I am now almost 30 and we have had a very rocky relationship. There is no need to bore with details but basically she is very pushy and wants a relationship with me as long as no one in her family especially her children find out about me. She is now moving closer to me and wants to be my new best friend, again as long as no one find out who I really am.... What do I do? I am sick of being her skeleton in her closet. UGH!

[sweetpea012607]

I met my birthmother when is was 18. I am now almost 30 and we have had a very rocky relationship. There is no need to bore with details but basically she is very pushy and wants a relationship with me as long as no one in her family especially her children find out about me. She is now moving closer to me and wants to be my new best friend, again as long as no one find out who I really am.... What do I do? I am sick of being her skeleton in her closet. UGH!

Dear one,

I must say I cannot completely relate to your situation but my birth father seems very similar. I have yet to meet or even have contact with him although I have learned that he told his in entire family that I was aborted. I have also learned that I have 3 half-siblings by him. A 22 year old, an 11 year old, and a 9 year old. However, my birth mother is 40 years old now and she also has a 22 year old daughter. My birth mother seems to be more of a friend than an actual mother. She dresses and acts like a 16 year old.
Now honey I can't tell you what to do but I would advise you to find what you want and to confront her about it. This is your situation and you can control it. Just remember that you don't have to be anyone's skeleton. You are you.

~Sweetpea

[block78]

That is my problem... I am not sure what I want. I want to not have a relationship with her on one hand. But, on the other I have desire to have her in my life. I can't figure out what the happy medium would be. Mainly, because she is very pushy about a relationship with me. She is very all or none. But on her terms... I am really confused.

[Jackiejdajda]

You do not need to be loved not at the cost of yourself..

Jo Courdet.. wrote that..

Keeping so many secrets is isolating.. and toxic IMO

Jackie