[sweetpea012607]

Thanks Jackie,

I'm trying. I just really wanted her to be there for me. The play is tonight so please keep me in your prayers. I need it.

[kakuehl]

Sweetpea, you are in my prayers. (Our Christmas Pageant is tonight too, so I will think of you then too.) I truly wish your bmom were there for you tonight.

You know, when we're children we can't wait to be adults, thinking it will be so easy, we can do what we want, etc. Then we become adult and discover it's not what we imagined it would be. I think it's called life! Ultimately, we need to feel comfortable in our skins. (I'm still working on it and Im 56, LOL.) I do best when I let go and trust God.

You are in a very tough place right now. Hang in there!

[sweetpea012607]

The Christmas play was good. I wound up sick after my part was over but that can't be changed.
My b-mom did not show up like I kept hoping she might, and I'm almost to the point that I don't care anymore.

I think I have a stomach virus that's going around here, I just can't seem to shake it. I went to the doctor this morning and she ordered x-rays so I guess I'll know soon.

I still feel extremely sad about my b-mom not being there for me, but I'm trying my dangdest not to cry.

Just taking deep breaths.

[bromanchik]

I hope you feel better soon.

[sweetpea012607]

I'm being sent to a specialist. I'm scared to death.

[kakuehl]

First, take some long, slow breaths and relax. It will help. I promise.

What kind of specialist? For your stomach?

You're in my prayers.

[sweetpea012607]

Yes. I'm scared to death and I feel like my boyfriend is getting tired of me. We haven't even talked in a week.
I feel like my life is falling apart.

[Jackiejdajda]

Take your time in all of this..

Get better.. I think when we are ill all things become worse than they really are.

Look at the good stuff in your life.. and tell yourself that all this will pass.. nothing stays bad forever..

Honest..

Jackie

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by sweetpea012607

I wound up sick ....My b-mom did not show up like I kept hoping she might, and I'm almost to the point that I don't care anymore.

I think I have a stomach virus ......I just can't seem to shake it. I went to the doctor this morning and she ordered x-rays so I guess I'll know soon.

I still feel extremely sad about my b-mom not being there for me, but I'm trying my dangdest not to cry.
Just taking deep breaths.

Sweetpea how my heart goes out to you. Don't hold back the tears, let them out, let them flow. They have to come. Don't underestimate the power of the emotions on making the body sick.. I've been there, more than I'd like to be. I ended up in hospital with tests.. and more tests.... and I honestly think, looking back it was the shock of my son...doing what he did... that put me there. Ambulance, the lot. Breathing? I couldn't. Even now, its hard to imagine that such frightening symptoms was caused by the feelings I have for my son and the dangerous way he lives his life.

I don't think I need to see the results of the x-rays to see why your stomach is sick.. your heart is ill, the pain is more than you can bear and its rising up. Because you are trying to hold back the emotions, its depth charging internally instead. Whilst you have such deep intense longings, naturally so, it will be hard for your body to recover. First let the tears out and sob, as much as you want, hug a pillow, talk to us, keep posting. Don't berate yourself for having these feelings. Because you can't escape them, you will tell yourself you don't care anymore ... nearly.. I get that a lot you know! its a familiar acquaintance. I don't know how I hold on in there sometimes.

But the body needs a little help. Drugs give side effects and have their place, but give your body a little assistance. Try echinacea, its helped me through a stormy 6 weeks and 1g (1000mg) vitamin C several times a day is a great stress buster too. If you are tummy sore, then try magnesium or calcium ascorbate which is a gentler (alkaline) vitamin C. Calcium/magnesium tablets 1000mg/500mg or 500mg/250mg per day (ratio of 2:1) will calm down any acid in the stomach and relaxes the muscles to aid sleep. If you are too acid in tummy, put a level teaspoon of bicarb in one pint (500ml) of filtered or bottled room temperature water. If you get panicky and feel you are losing your breath, breathe into a paper bag. I find that helps me enormously when my emotions take over and I feel oh so ill.

But back to my first comment - those tears, they've gotta come. Feel the hugs of the sisterhood on these forums. We feel for you, we really do.

(((hugs))) Sweetpea
Janny

[sweetpea012607]

Well my stomach has quit hurting, but the nausea is still there full force. If I eat within a couple hours I get nauseated, if I eat again when I get nauseated it goes away. Weird I know. The only thing that gets me un-nauseated is sleep and food.
I have another doctor's appointment today at 1:15pm. I'm hoping that this time they'll tell me what's wrong.

My a-mom is also making me have a pregnancy test done....

[kakuehl]

Ok, Sweetpea,
Any results?

[sweetpea012607]

I just got back from the doctor.

1.) I'm not pregnant
2.) I have no infections in my body
3.) I don't have H2 Pilary
4.) They don't have a clue what's wrong with me

If I'm not better in a week I'm being sent to the G.I. for sure. I'm so tired of being sick. I really didn't want to be sick on Christmas either, I mean it's only 4 days away. Yay for me.

I'm really sad...

[kakuehl]

Sweetpea,
I know it's hard. Try to look at the positives... you've ruled out somethings anyway.

Do remember that our bodies respond negatively to stress! (By the way, if you drink Mountain Dew, stop! That ended up being a major source of my daughter's abdominal problems when she was a teen.)

[rainmon]

Sweetpea......maybe your visits with your Mom should not be at the church and be more of a one on one with you & her completely alone, lunch, a movie or nice drive somewhere...etc...if your Mom feels uncomfortable at that church then you "really" should consider her feelings in this too.
Ginger tea helps with nausea, also a good multi vitamin with extra B vitamins help with nerves especially vitamin B6 and vitamin B12.
and camomile tea is VERY soothing for nerves also, especially in the evening.
and do you like walking or jogging....it sure helps too.
Helping out somewhere needing volunteers will get your mind off things too.
Sure hope your holiday and New Year find you with some peace.

[sweetpea012607]

I am feeling slightly better today. I'm still worried that it's something bad though.

I have considered her feelings and I haven't even talked about her coming back to the church. I just wanted her there for my play. Was that so much to ask for?

It doesn't matter. If I'm not better by this coming wednesday I'm going to a specialist.