[stray]

Were any of you abused by your adoptive parents and how did you deal with that?

[ahld707]

I was not abused by my parents but a son they adopted 4 years before I was adopted. He sexually abused me for about 8 years, starting around 4 and ending around 12.

I call him "their son" because the only thing that kept me even remotely sane was the fact that he was not a blood relative and I did not "have" to claim him as a sib.

I have been in therapy for many years, suffered from PTSD that started around 18 (I'm 35 now), and even tried group therapy. The pisser about it all is that no one ever addressed the fact that it was an adopted sib and treated it as if it was regular incest, which I feel it is diff - did he feel okay doing because he was not related to me? Don't know, he denies it and has actually threatened my life several times. My kids know there is a part of my family they haven't met but understand it is off limits for discussion until they are older.

I am not sure what type of abuse you suffered through but pain is pain. It sucks and hurts but somehow we begin to survive and the times we think about the abuse begin to get farther apart and soon we realize we can get by day to day as all the other seemingly normal people of the world get to do. That is not to say that it is not always in the back of our mind but eventually it will not color our world. I am beginning to get there and hope you will reach that point sooner than later. I am always willing to discuss this issue - I will not hide anymore. Let me know whenever you want to chat. I am not always on everyday but try to get here more often than not.

The following are fabulous quotes from one of my fav Italian movies. Reader's Digest version: The father abused his kids as children and as adults they are deciding if they should mourn his death. The mother was a steriotypical enabler. What a crock of &^%.

You're in my thoughts - Priscilla

“THERE ARE TYPES OF PAIN ONE NEVER HEALS FROM, OURS IS ONE OF THESE. THIS DOESN’T PRTEVENT US FROM WALKING WITH OUR HEADS HIGH AND OUR FEET ON THE GROUND”

“A SCAR IS AN INDELEBLE MARK, NOT AN ILLNESS”.

- “DON’T TELL”, ITALIAN MOVIE BASED ON ITALIAN BOOK, LA BESTIA NEL CUORE.

[lonni]

I was not abused by mine. I know several adoptees who were. I was shocked to learn this at first, but I expected perfection I guess , from people who adopted.
Now I know there are abusers everywhere in every type of people.
I am sorry to hear about your terrible abuse too.

[ahld707]

Abuse stat's are shocking no matter the abuser. I just want to make sure that others understand they don't have to be silent anymore, adopted or not.
Thanks for your thoughts.

[disolveme]

"Were any of you abused by your adoptive parents and how did you deal with that?"


Yes I was abused by my adoptive parents. I would like to disolve my adoption, and become unadopted. I don't know if that is possible. Being in my 40's it probably seems silly, but I was tricked into the adoption, my adoptive mother, lieing to me and telling me what to tell the judge.(by the way she was turned down 2 or 3 times before by the same judge) She went on to be very abusive emotionally and physically, even trying on occasion to take my life.