[lpergi]

I hope I not being too bold by posting in this forum. My husband and I are in the process of adopting our second child and we are looking for information on open adoption. Our first adoption was "semi-open"... we met our daughters birthparents and saw them at the hospital and that has been the end of our contact.

It seems to me that the people talking about open adoption are the birthparents, adoptive parents and professionals. I feel like we are leaving out the people who matter most - the adoptees that have LIVED it and their opinions on what they liked or didn't like about living with the connection of their two families.

I really appreciate anything that you can share on the subject and I realize that I lack so much understanding of the emotions related to the issue.

Thanks so much for reading this!

Lisa

[BrandyHagz]

I grew up in an open adoption.

There aren't many (any?) adoptees here that had an open adoption growing up.

Many, however, comment that the openness would have confused them...it didn't confuse me.

I feel that not having an open adoption would have left all of my questions unanswered and me confused...but I've never had a closed adoption, so I really have no place to speak about something I have no experience with

What are your specific questions?

[lpergi]

Thanks for your response! I guess I'm not sure what specific questions I have... the confusion issue occured to me, but I am mostly wondering if people have had good or bad experiences with completely open adoption.

It seems like the concept is relatively new (within the last 20 or 30 yrs?) and I feel like there are so many books and opinions saying that this is the way to go. I know that completely closed adoptions had a lot of repercussions, but I'm not completely convinced yet that open adoption is the best option. Maybe somewhere in the middle? I don't know! I wouldn't mind being convinced if there is evidence to support how healthy and wonderful it is.

Would you mind sharing how your families related to each other and what the details were of the visits, etc.? Thanks for relating your experience... hopefully it will help me make the best choice for my future children. I really appreciate your help!