[hnnybnny]

I found my bmom and her family and now that I have them in my life...i am pulling away. Is that common?

Edited to delete url that was not valid

[Lilyrose]

I think it is quite common. I located my birthmother and the first several months were wonderful. I had little or no expectations. She responded immediately to my letter. She told me everything I needed to hear. I have found her to have complete lack of follow through from phone calls to broken promises. I completely understand and appreciate she has her own family and obligations. I believe one of her sons is very jealous of anytime she spends with me. She lives a thousand miles away. He will bring his children to her home and allow them to interrupt her phone conversations with me, but she allows it. I guess I was searching for answers and now that I have the answers, I am not so sure I want everything that comes with it.

[InBlindFaith]

Are you pulling away because you feel rushed into meeting the rest of your birthfamily?

[hnnybnny]

no I'm not really sure why I am pulling away. My bmom died November 7, 2005 and since then I have met 2 uncles, an aunt, my grandmother and some of her friends. The grandma and aunt live close but I just have a hard time just opening up to them. My grandmother is so loving and wants me in her life...but i'm just having a hard time having that relationship after not having it for so long. i'm 43

[InBlindFaith]

Maybe it will just take time? I'm not sure what to say.

[snuffie]

Could it be that having your bmom pass away so soon after reuniting that subconsciously you are afraid to get close to anyone? I found myself drawing away from others after losses in my own family and it finally dawned on me why I was doing it. It hurts so much to lose those we love.

[hnnybnny]

Not really sure what my deal is. It seems like i do this with a lot of people. I'm always afraid to let anyone get too close. Right now I am also having a lot of issues with my adoptive parents...they are quite elderly and need a lot of help, I feel over extended..can barely take care of everything in my house let alone their house as well. I feel like no one was ever around to help me in some of my crisis' so why should i have to help? Out of loyalty to them for rescuing me from the orphanage? I don't know..just babbling i guess

[Timecop]

Originally Posted by Lilyrose

I think it is quite common. I located my birthmother and the first several months were wonderful. I had little or no expectations. She responded immediately to my letter. She told me everything I needed to hear. I have found her to have complete lack of follow through from phone calls to broken promises. I completely understand and appreciate she has her own family and obligations. I believe one of her sons is very jealous of anytime she spends with me. She lives a thousand miles away. He will bring his children to her home and allow them to interrupt her phone conversations with me, but she allows it. I guess I was searching for answers and now that I have the answers, I am not so sure I want everything that comes with it.

I have found My Bsister and BMother thought i could make somthing out of it.
all i got after 3 weeks was can you Cosign for a loan for me and lies about my birth father and my brother.
Ask the same question 3 times in a different way i got 3 different answers
I know what your feeling and maybe you should let her make the phone calls when her son is not there.