[angelesther]

I wrote this song shortly after talking to my bmom the first time. I have a wonderful set of aparents who did the best they knew how in rasing me, but there was always a place in my heart that was not quite full. I met my bmom (and stepfather and 2 younger half brothers) mothers day of 2005. It was truly an awesome experience! I gave her a copy of this song, and I know that she was blessed by it. I think that knowing that I no longer harbored hard feelings toward her and that I knew that what she had done was best for me in the long run did allot toward bringing us one step closer to a healthy relationship. Our relationship still does not have all of the kinks worked out yet (but then what mother/daughter relationship ever does?) but we are working on it. I am blessed to have a afamily that supported me in finding my bfamily (yes there are things that I try not to rub in their face, like the fact that when I am with my bmom and step dad I call them mom and dad and refer to my aparents by their first names, but the reverse is also true, I call my a parents mom and dad when I am with them, and my bmom and her husband by their first names, and they all know that). I think that part of having a truly compatible relationship with all members of a and b families is to recognize (and for all of them to recognize) that you have a whole lot of a little but not everything of any thing. This song is a tribute to my bmom, who loved me enough to bring me into this world, and enough to trust me to God for life.




Hold Me
© 2005 Elise J. Miller

Who is to say what one life will do?
Who will say what this life can do?
In this child is future and hope,
All beginning with you.

In you her hope rests,
Her life lies in your hands,
Her very heart, beating in that tiny chest,
Calls out to you, demands.

Her very soul. Crying out to you.
“Mommy, I Love you.
Don’t you love me too?”

“Please look at me. I long for your love.
My heart hurts. I don’t know why.
I am God’s gift. A touch of heaven above.
So why do I feel this pain. Oh God, draw nigh!”

“Hold me. Tightly in your arms.
Let me go. Trust me to God.
I want to be safe. Safe from all harms.
Hold me. Tightly in your arms.
Let me go. And hold me.”

“You know its time, I have to go.
I am just a child. I cannot choose.
It is up to you. Yes or no.
Remember.
I have everything to gain, everything to loose.”

“You know what to do.
What has to be done.
I need something more.
Oh, how I wish you were the one.”

“I will understand. Some day the “how?”
There will be pain,
But don’t hold on now,
For there is everything to gain.”

“Mommy I can do it, Please don’t cry,
I will be ok. I will make it through.
I will try,
Just for you.”

“Hold me. Tightly in your arms.
Let me go. Trust me to God.
I want to be safe. Safe from all harms.
Hold me. Tightly in your arms.
Let me go. And hold me.”

“I have so much to give; my life is just begun,
This little me, so soft and new,
Lies safely in the arms of the Son”

“Mommy, I am safe now.
I am safe and strong.
I still love you.
You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“He is holding me. Tightly in His arms
Thank you for holding on, for letting go.
I am safe, safe from all harms
Resting, growing, waiting. Safe in His arms.”

Hold me. Tightly in your heart.
Let me go. Trust me to God.
Hold me. Tightly in your heart.
Let me go. And hold me.
Hold me. Hold me

[katlyn]

Thank You Angel, that was beautiful and I bet your firstmother loved it, I know if my daughter gave me something that came straight from her heart like that I'd treasure it always. I hope my daughter can find it in her to forgive me and give me the opportunity for a relationship as well.

[jenn_e_ritter]

That is beautiful