[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by reiscmi

Now I just view myself as an American.

This is how I feel too. I'm 5th generation and our family was always clear that we were American first. The things brought with my family from their European home were easily integrated into an American lifestyle.

And now that I live in Canada raising my Canadian kiddos in a little different environment where the differences in cultural heritage are more celebrated (and often "worshipped" in a way, differences viewed most important, sometimes to the detriment I believe of people feeling like they're all a part of Canada) we do have lots of fun celebrating all the different places and cultures that are little family came from. But mostly, we're just Canadian (with some American, thanks to this Momma thrown in!).

[wishkah311]

This wasn't always an issue for me. I wanted to join the Daughters of the American Revolution like my adoptive grandmother. Unfortunately, the DAR would not accept me because it was my adopted family's heritage, not really mine. That was the first time I realized I could be treated differently for being adopted. I started exploring this issue more when my mom started doing her family's geneology and later in college, when I took several native american history classes. I know I am part Cherokee, but I could never prove it without documentation of my actual heritage. When my mom started talking about her heritage, I got jealous. I actually had to ask her to stop talking about it. I recognize now that I was being selfish. I knew her heritage is important to her, and she wanted it to be my heritage too. Unfortunately, I just get mad at the thought of it. My father is descended from Betsy Ross, but not me. It isn't my mother's fault. She did try to include me in her heritage. It is almost everyone but my adoptive parents that have made it difficult for me. In a way, I feel like I have no real past. I know I am Scotch Irish with a touch of Cherokee and French, but I have no proof. Maybe one day I could learn more, but for now I am just frustrated.

[shef]

Hi Wishkah,

Its never easy on this journey to find out who we are and to begin to reclaim what is rightfully ours....and to know ourselves......your mom has her own heritage and surely does not mean to hurt you in anyway.....but hopefully can be sensitive to your own need to know about yourself. Its only natural to want to own theirs...when you dont have anything that you can call your own...yet you are unique and you are part of your own heritage, proof or no proof.
I had not proof, except I knew my father was from the country of India.....and so I started to embrace what I could about the country and found out things about it, and visited the country....all the time knowing this land was part of me.....and I had just as much right to own it....and becasue I did not know specifics, i was still going to talk about the land of my father.......for that is truth......slowly I have been able to embrace many things without knowing the specific people, an dyou can too with your scots irish background. You dont have to have proof, just go with what you know.....its a journey for you to enjoy and own, and be interested in...that is part of your right.........I know its frustrating and you want to know...but start on the journey with the bits you know and as you search other things will come to you more specific about your roots ......just my thoughts of course.......shefalie

[wishkah311]

Thanks Shef. I am very happy to know that I am not alone in the way I feel about the issues I have with being adopted. I guess I have spent so much of my life being pretty much the only one - the only adopted one, the only one with red hair - I just figured I'd be alone in this too. Really, I wish I'd found this forum sooner.

[Gwen Berndt]

This is interesting! Thanks for starting this thread.

I'm an adoptee. Whenever anyone has asked me about my family's heritage, I say, "My dad is German/Austrian/English/Scottish and a whole bunch more. My mom is half Hungarian and half Norwegian. My brother is German and Irish. And I am Swedish, Irish, French and Bohemian. So basically, we're American." All of our celebrations, holidays and such have always been purely American.

I married a Swede, and his family and friends in Sweden are sort of bemused and surprised that Americans want to delve into our ethnic backgrounds so much. They just think we're Americans. However, some of them seem to be pleased that I'm genetically part Swedish!

I've always thought geneaology was really interesting, but when one of my cousins researched my amom's side of the family, going back 300 years to Hungary, I realized very clearly that although my amom is simply Mom to me, her ancestors are truly not mine. I would love to do genealogical research of my own!!