[tinamcgraw4]

This is continued from the adoption story. Now that I met my birth mother and brother in1980. I saw my brother more than my mother.But, see I was so confused that, that I can't really explain it, I wanted to get to know them but I didn't. So at the age of 15 when I did meet my brother I did hang out with him now and then. See my life at the time was so mixed up that his adoptive parents didn't really want me involed in his life. Which now I could respect now, but not then. It just made both of us rebell more. I am not sure why people could keep us apart. They did. So I only had eight years to get to know him, which is not a long time. In 1988, Nine months after I had gave up my son for adoption my brother took his own life at the age of 21. His adoptive family told me that it was my fault because I gave up my son for adoption, she said, you knew what you and your brother went through. For the longest time I blamed myself for his death. It has been one year, my birth mom took her life at the age of 59. My birth dad and I are the only ones left. Speaking of my birth dad he had remarried and had a family of his own. At the age of 17 I found out I had a half sister. She is not in my life, different way of thinking. Which is really to bad. My birth dad would only talk to me when he was drinking. Must of been a guilty mind I guess I am not really sure why these things happen, but there is always a reason. Just not sure why? That use to just break my heart. But now that I am older it does not brother me. I told him if you cant call me sober then dont call at all. All my respect and love are for my parents that brought me up, was there when I needed them, was there when I was hurt, and ect. It is a hard life out there, but it does get easier. Very sad over the whole way things seem to happen. I really hope there are people out there I could just talk to about similar situtaions as mine. I would really like to hear from you .

Sad

[ingodshands]

Bumping this one too...

Collette

[Montraviatommyg]

Collette, I'm glad you you did and I hope Tina gets supportive responses.

Pip

[tinamcgraw4]

Thanks to you two I am finally getting some feed back that is so nice. Just to see people actually do care.
Thanks again

[Montraviatommyg]

Tina,

It's a pleasure to help as we all deserve support.

Pip

[tinamcgraw4]

Yes we all need that special person that we can connect with.I am so glad I found that site thank you again.
Tina

[tinamcgraw4]

I was really hoping on some feed back on this. Either natural mothers or adoptees. I am both so I do have things in common with some people out there. I would like to know how other people would handle this?
Tina

[Montraviatommyg]

Tina,

I am so sorry nobody has really responded to you here. Collette and I haven't responded as we have elsewhere obviously but it would be good if others here did as well.

((((Hugs))))
Pip

[ingodshands]

Tina

I am sorry too hun, let's keep bumping this for you in the hopes somebody will ...

Collette

[tinamcgraw4]

I just know there are people out there wit the same experience I knoe there has to be why dont they talk to me?

[Montraviatommyg]

Tina,

It's beyond me why nobody is sharing with you, which is a shame.

Loads of hugs

Pip

[Mommy24]

Hi Tina.... I am so sorry to hear things arent going well for you right now. I am a birthmom to Mark who is 15 , wow where does the time go.?! I would love to talk with you, pm me anytime. I know it helps to have someone to talk with .

Michelle

[eastendmommy]

Hi Tina! I have chatted with you a couple of different times on another website. I am so sorry for your pain and feelings of isolation. PM me anytime you want to talk privately. I didn't see this post before. I don't know why?... I don't want you to feel so alone - we are all here for you. You have alot to deal with, with a brother and a mother both taking their own lives. I feel for you, sweetie. I do have first hand experience with an alcoholic father, so I do know where you're coming from there... Keep your chin up, and I'll chat with you soon! Tammi

[ChristiBender]

I just read your post and I would like to respond but I am not sure what you are asking... if anything?

My reunion story was very different than yours... so I can't relate about that.

I do have an adad who is an alcoholic though - and through MANY years of heartache I have come to a place of peace with him..... although watching his life waste away in pain and loneliness is hard sometimes.... but it is the life he chose out of the circumstances he was in. I have tried repeatedly to save him... but as you know - you can't save anyone - well have to do it for ourselves.

If you post a distinct QUESTION I think you will get more responses.....

[ingodshands]

Christi

I have been chatting to Tina on another adoption site. I don't think it is "purely" answers to questions that she seeks, more just friendly chats with anyone relating to adoption that can identify in some way with what she has been through. I think at the moment she feels alone and wants to connect to others. Correct me please Tina, if I am wrong here.

Collette