[susiesgirl]

My bmom found this site so i can no longer post like i would like to cuz she will not understand my feelings even tho she may try,
She said that she was suprised to hear that i had so much hate in my heart.. it isnt hate.. not really its just that EDITED green eyed monster. And I am not the only one that it has bit in the butt. I Do love my sister but there is tension between us because we both wanted what the other had. IT is really hard for me.
Like when i said she would love my sisters baby more..the reasson that i think tha tis my husbands mother didnt love my kids at all and she did the other kids,. She said *i love all my greand kids and kids differently* she NEVER told my hubby that she loved him even before she died .she spent her life telling hiim she wished he was never born. My father in law says that she loved the ones the most that she seen the most.. and at that time we lived right across town but they couldnt be bothered with my kids. MY minlaw promised my daughter that she would take her shopping like she did the other *girls* well it came time for shelbys turn and my minlaw said oh sorry its veronicas turn. They would take all the grandkids everyyear on vacation to DisneyWorld and NEVER took my kids . It broke my heart to hear my babies sitting in the bath tub asking why their grandma didnt love them. It just worried me cuz my bmom doesnt get to see them often i just dont want her to *forget* them,. My daughter doesnt go down when i go cuz she is mad from a time before when i got on her case.
i have had people walk in and out of my life and it just scares me.
Now mbmom is wondering at least this is what i am getting and i hope that i am wrong...that i want to be away from her. That is not true at all!!!!!
i need her in my life. I have to get used to sharing czu i was rasised an only child but that is just something that i have to work for.

[This is a family site, the use of profanity, even when edited with asterisks and other symbols to mask the obscene word, is not permitted

This is the ONE and ONLY warning that you will be given.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Wow, Susiesgirl.. I read your other thread and I dont see that "you have so much hate in your heart".

Not at all... ((HUG)) Hang in there.

[susiesgirl]

when i write even when i use other symbols i just write what i feel.. sorry

[BrandyHagz]

Sorry Susie, but here on AdoptionForums, all feelings expressed must be rated G.

[susiesgirl]

it will be g rated

[Montraviatommyg]

Susie,

You will know I have been responding to other posts of yours and understand you are hurting. Keep bearing in mind you have been in reunion with your bmum for 4 years now so that speaks volumes.

Pip

[susiesgirl]

thanks for your support. it means a lot to me. I am hoping that all this bad stuff wil just pass and people will forget i even wrote anything.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Forget you wrote anything??? There is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling! Give yourself some credit!

[Montraviatommyg]

Susie,

It's better to be honest about your feelings so that you can work through this otherwise how are you able to move on? We are all here to support each other the best we can.

Pip