[C.C]

I found my bmom in March /05. It took her 6months after the initial leter to call me. It started off fine on the phone and then the lies started. (my husband is your dad, oh no he is not, oh he is your sisters dad). Make up your mind!!! I go on to ask questions and she tells me that her past is her past and she will not tell me about my bdad. I also new that I had a bsister all along. In the adoption papers they said it was a full sister. I come to find out that the man the bmom says is her father(her husband) is not either. Bsister does not know this. A family member let it slip to me. Not one family member can tell me about my bdad. They say it was 31 years ago and they can't remember! Wouldn't you remember your sister being married to someone?
The bmom wouldn't tell anyone that she found me for months. She invited my family to a dinner and I told her that I would not come and be introduced as a friend to my bfamily. She told a few and no one seems to care that I am even alive.
It has been a few months now and the bsister was finally told she is 33 and I am 31 and she is wondering where I came from and how her mom could have another baby when she was married to her so called dad!
Even the husband of 30 years never knew about me.
My b sister has a son and so do I so now there are two grandsons. Mine is not really acknowledged. Every conversation that the bmom and I have had and I mean every conversation in the past 2 months has been about how much she does for my bsister and her son.(what she buys, where they go for dinner, where she takes them) I find it kind of weird that you keep one, give up the other and all you can talk about is what you have given them. I rally don't care tohear about it every day!
She says hello how are you and goes right into it.And then tells me that I have to see my sister more and take her places and drive her around. I have a life too!
I have had a wonderful adoptive life and I wouldn't give my aparents up for the world. They find it strange too.
She calls me everyday with the same stuff, but never asks me to do anything. I can't figure it out!!! My bsister and I get along fine but I can't get to know her with the bmom interfering all of the time. The bmom and her fight like cat and dog! They show up here for a coffee whenever they feel like it and scream at each other in front of us. I was not raised like that and find it hard to take. I can't get to know any of my family members either cause most of them don't know that I even exist! I have many cousins my age and would love to know them.
Please help!!Thank you
Mary

[susiesgirl]

i am sorry that things arent working out between you and your birthfamily.
It would be confusing to me too. it would especially be hurtful that my kids werent recognised as grandchildren.'How could they not have know anything about your moms past.. i would like to know.. sounds like a ot of covering up.
It is difficult with bsiblings. i have 2 bbros and a bsis. i get along with all of them however my sis is jealous of all the things that i had growing up and she didnt. well SHE had our mom and to me that was more important that things...
speaking of lies.. my bmom was lied to she was told that i was going out of state with a cop and his family.. not true she lived in the samll town as me and was only a few blocks away from my house and was right across the street from my school!
my a folks were lied to concerning info about my family.. and i was lied to about my borthdate, so confusing.
o hope that you will be able to have a good relationship with your sister.