[Sari Axelrod]

I know where all my half siblings are. Due to some very dangerous genetic history in my husbands family, I feel I should know everything about my biological family. Already found birthmother. She doesn't want any contact & she doesn't want her kids to find out about me. I was born in Chicago in 1952. I contacted her 8 years ago & gave her my word by letter I would not contact any children. But circumstances have changed since then with genetic illness & death in my husband's family. I am extremely concerned for my 3 children. Iwant to know medical info & feel it is necessary to contact one of the half-sibs because bio mother won't answer me. Should I break my promise made 8 years ago &contact one of them so they know they have a half-sister who needs to know her medical background from both bio mother & bio father?
Please respond! Thanks

[gabriella]

Hi Sari. I am no expert on this stuff, but I have been in reunion with Bmom, Bdad, Bsister, two 1/2 sisters(twins), and a 1/2 brother for over 3 years now. My own experience tells me that you need to go directly through your birth mother. She holds the key, and if you go through a sibling, it could ruin all hope and possibility of healing with your bmom and could prevent any further contact with family members. She must have kept all of this from them, and I do know that that causes lots of resentment on both sides!

It is important to stand firm with your bmom about your urgent need for medical history, but if that is all you are really searching for, then your bmom holds all of the answers.

Going back on your word may create relationships of mistrust, and from what I have experienced, trust is the foundation for a healthy reunion.

Good Luck and I hope you find your answers. If you believe in God, I believe that he provides us with what we need, and prayer will bring you the answers!

I hope that you break through to your birthmother, and find all that you need.

Best wishes!

~Gabby

[ingodshands]

Sari

I agree totally with Gabriella. You need to do this through your birthmother. Your half siblings will not thank you for going directly to them with the shock news that you are their sibling that they knew nothing about. You will be the one they come to with their resentment and anger, after they have spoken with their mother, and they will blame you for telling them.

I hope all goes well. Good luck.