[mandy88143]

Hello Everybody-

So I have good news! CONTACT has been made with my birth mom! On friday I had my fiance's mom call her and she picked up the phone and they talked for about 45 min. I heard the hole conversation on speaker phone! I was overwhelmed!!! She was also!!!! But, it went well and she E-mailed me on Saturday with a very nice note!!
I dont have much time to write but I will write more later! I do have to say my amom is not taking it well at all! I think she is afraid I will leave her for my bmom and that is not my intention at all, how can I make her understand? any help would be great!

Thankyou to all for your support during my search!!

Love you all,
Mandy

[InionGrinn]

Great! About the birthmom, not so great about your adoptive mom. How have things been int he past month? I hope OK. The only advice I have I haven't used yet - I'm not in reunion yet and haven't spoken about my search with my A-mom. BUT when I do I will tell her that she is the ONLY "mom", the one who raised me, helped me when I was sick, saw all of my school plays, and that she'll never leave that special place in my heart.
Have you tried any of that? Let us know how it goes.

[blankenb4]

I as a birthmother would like to have the opportunity to tell my daughter's aparents how thankful that I am that they gave my birthdaughter the life that she deserves. I in no way want to replace them. I hope that one day I will get this opportunity.

Barbara

[Laura Palmer]

Great! Reunion is a very emotional thing. It was very overwhelming to me & still is. My b-mom & b-dad were both deceased & I never got the chance to meet them. As for your a-mom, things will get better I hope. My a-mom is very close to me & sort of feels a little threatened even by my b-uncle (who I am also close too now). If you need to talk, feel free to PM me anytime.


Sue

[Laura Palmer]

Try to keep reassuring your a-mom, that she is your mom & the one that raised you to be the person you are today. But you just need to know your family history also. Keep telling her you love her. It'll be OK.


Sue

[spitzlvr]

I found my bMom in May 2004. When I went to meet her in June both my (a) parents came. At 1 point my bMom took my aMom aside and they chatted. I believe the conversation was similiar to the one blankenb4 would have if she gets the chance.

Anyway, my parents have been great thru this whole thing. I think my Mom was relieved that my bMom wasn't a nut! (I mean, look at me!!!)

Maybe as things progress between you and bMom, both your Moms can meet. That may make it easier on her.

Mary

[sherrykimball]

I have looked off & onfor several yrs When I got my orginal birth cert. I told my amom she was hurt at first then realize all I want is my medical records. well think I have found my bfamily & my bparnets are dead.Your Mom will understand when some of us was adopted the records were close and never to be open.so some of this is a shock to aMom's

[Erin Elizabeth]

My amom is not accepting of my relationship with my birth family. However, I did not search. They searched for me. My suggestion is to keep reassuring her that you are her daughter and that you always will be. Spend extra time with her doing stuff that you two normally do. Over the next few months especially, reassure her constantly. The hardest part is not to feel guilty about having contact with your bmom. I went through that phase and it was not a postitive experience. You have a right to be happy just as your amom has a right to be unsure. Work together to get through this phase.

[sherrykimball]

amom would just not no so we don't talk about it so my bmom has passed away so there no need for amom to be up set besides amom is my MOM

[tgif41]

Mandy,
When I found my birthdaughter I was very worried about her amom. So, I wrote her amom and afather a letter explaining that I was not coming back to take her away. I was only here to answer questions and it would be completely up to Lori if she wanted a relationship with me. I also told Lori she needed to spend extra time with her amom right now because I was sure she was feeling very sad. It has helped trememdously on the way all of us has handled the reunion.