[DeniseM]

I just wanted to let you know that you are doing a wonderful thing. It takes very special people to become and continue to be foster parents. The heartbreak can be tremendous but as long as you keep in the back of your mind that you are providing a child a wonderful loving enviroment (possibly something that they wouldn't have had the opportunity to have) for as long as you can. Our court date for the adoption of our AA foster son is the end of this month and we can't wait. Finally all our worries and fears of losing this loving child are going to be over and then we will begin tackling other issues (I'm sure).

[szypzz]

Thanks so much for your kind words. Our friends and family are very supportive of us adopting, but not quite as much when we said we want a 5-year-old. And most think we are crazy when we say that we are going to foster first. It just seems right to, and for. us. Not that any other way is wrong, but this is just what we think we should do.

Good luck with everything! How long have you fostered your son?

[szypzz]

Sorry just got your answer on the other thread.

[DeniseM]

He has been with us for about 18 months he had just turned 3 when we got him. Our friends and family have also been very supportive but some ask why would you want to do this when your daughters are 15, 13 and 11. My answer So many children need someone to help them and love them and I feel that my family could provide this to a wanting child. What I was not prepared for was falling head over heels in love. Just always remember that most of the time reunification with bparents is the childs case plan and they have to leave. Prepare for that and always keep that in the back of your mind. You are providing a child with love and care and if they are returned then remember that you did a wonderful thing. We have other children in the house for short periods of time and it always hurts alittle when they leave. But with my son it was different--instant feelings, thank GOD that it worked out and now we all can breathe easy!!!

[JENNI]

Becoming a foster parent has been the hardest thing I've ever done... and the most rewarding. I am so glad I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone.
Our SW are from a Christian agency and have been great. They answered any questions we had and always tried to be honest with us. They never said our child would be easy or that we would definately get to adopt him, and we tried to get them to say it! I like to "know" and hate waiting, so this has been a challange.
When we brought home the baby from the hospital, I was suprised how much I felt like I just gave birth, funny how lack of sleep does that to you. The state gave us $200 to start out on clothes and the next day my husband took off to help us settle in.
Our baby was on a heart monitor and that was rough. We were trained on it before leaving the hospital, but it would go off all night, scaring me to death. It was always a loose connection. I was so afraid he would die. His heart was/is fine! he's 1 1/2 now and is doing so well.

[heidejam]

everyone talking about foster kids and the negative. setting rules and not going out to eat the first night and all. we have had seventeen foster children and only one that was unreachable. that because he was in need of more indepth counseling,surgery, and had returned home and then back into the system. all problems that had available solutions. but i was not given the approvals to proceed.... but about the kids we took a whole different approach. the first day or night the child was placed,we either had a pizza party or i'd go to carvel and have them write on the cake welcome to our home. something that small really tells the kid he or she is wanted. i had kids say you mean you want me here. getting off on the right foot makes the world of difference to these children. welcoming the child into your home and heart this way at least for us made a big difference. i feel you have to build not only structure and rules but just as important joy and fun. even foster children are children who want the same as other kids. and about not having a t.v. in the bedroom,please give to them what you would give your own. have movie night,fun night or day,picnics etc. and in with all that as your building the friendship you build respect and obedience. i'm not saying let them do what they want. i have a very structured home life for my child and for foster kids. but just as important are rules it's important fo foster children to know they can finally be free to be happy the way avery child should.