[dazzlingdeb]

So-turns out our first placement should be Tuesday around 3.

They said they'll just double check fire extinguisher and smoke detectors.

Once they leave, what should we do? We've been through all the training and have read and read, but what should we say? She's 5 so I guess she'll kinda know what's going on but should we try to explain why she's here?

Should we have something to give her?
What do people usually recommend a foster child call them? I'd love to be as prepared as possible-

Thanks for any advice!

[mykids1027]

The caseworked will explain things to the child. If it's the first time being removed, it'll be tricky. Don't get over excited when she arrives. Take her to her room and show her where she will be sleeping. Make the child as comfortable as possible. The first night, you may need to leave lights on and be in the room until she falls asleep, but quickly get into a routine the next day. Although only 5, you'll be surprised how much they know. The most important thing is structure and routine. Good luck and after being a first timer myself and getting a 3 and 6 yr old, If you need any help or just to vent, feel free to let me know. The beginning will be very overwhelming!!!!

[parenting-over-40]

Awe! Congratulations on your first placement. What a sweet age!

I agree with pp. Show her where she will be sleeping and around the house. Take it easy with her. No need to take her out to do things. Staying in and playing games or watching a movie would be relaxing.

As far as getting her something, you may want to get her a teddy bear or some stuffed animal. Those are always great to hold on to. Or, you might want to wait until she arrives and see if she needs anything (clothes wise). If so, take her shopping and let her pick out her own stuffed animal.

[mom2fabtwins]

I have found that food usually helps. Pizza, cookies (healthier like oatmeal raisin), even crackers. We usually start with a welcome, let me shoe you where your shoes, jacket go. Then wait and see what happens. Sometimes it is straight to the toys, other times it is a tour. I usually have somethime in the oven or on the stove so there is a warm homey scent.

As pp have said, plan a low key night, movie works. I leave a stuffed animal on the bed - just incase they need a sleep buddy.

Be yourself and before you say yes to a request as yourself...do I wnt to be doing_____ in six months. It is better to say no now than to allow it and say no later. (ex popcorn with movie - it will be expected EVERY time not just on special occassions; hold me carry me - they can sit next to you or hold your hand....you may not want to carry a 40 lb child all the time)

ENJOY!!!!!

[parenting-over-40]

I like to take pictures with my own camera) soon after the child arrives and have them in a few pictures frames around the house. It helps them feel welcomed and loved. Just a thought!

[shaylynn]

I have a tote with some stuffed animals and character blankets. After a tour of the house and a snack/meal, then I let them pick it out so they have something they chose for their beds. I try not to schedule any outings for the first day or two except to maybe get clothes, that way I can see what their personalities are like and can anticipate what they would be able to handle in public (ex. if they aren't able to sit still for a whole movie at home, I won't take them to a theatre and except them to sit thru it there) Like someone else said, take some pictures and put them up on the wall to help make them feel like they belong. I actually had a fs ask me one time, "How come my picture isn't up there (on the wall)?"

[CaddoRose]

If the CW can tell you, find out what the child likes to eat. If not, make sure you have a supply of kid friendly foods to prepare and offer. Sometimes it's tough with the food because it can ether be a comfort or an emotional trigger! Most foster kids come from families that eat fast food or food with a lower nutritional value like hotdogs, mac and cheese, pizza, chips, cookies,cereal, bologna, etc. I try to keep small pizzas, chips, and mac and cheese in stock just in case.

I keep a collection of stuffed toys for my kids to pick a buddy from when they arrive. This becomes their baby to care for and keep and they can pick a soft kid-sized fleece blanket from the stash. I also have several new tooth brushes to choose from as well. I just try to offer them choices so they feel they have some control over something right now.

Be prepared for answering the questions that will come. They want to go home, they want their parents and friends etc. I tell them that we are here for them as long as they need us and let them know we care about them and understand they miss their family.

I explain the rules of the house which for us are no hurting others, no running in the house and use inside voice. Consequences and rewards are explained and how those work. I write out a daily schedule which is posted int he kitchen for them to see, even if they can't read it all so they know what to expect every day. I explain that to them too.

[BigLex]

Originally Posted by parenting-over-40

I like to take pictures with my own camera) soon after the child arrives and have them in a few pictures frames around the house. It helps them feel welcomed and loved. Just a thought!

That's a really nice idea!