[dazzlingdeb]

Hello everyone!
This is my first post--my husband and I became licensed as of September 22. That very day we got a call for 2 boy--one was 6, the other 9. We were prepared for 1 child but after much thought, we decided to do it. We got a second bed and went and got boy comforters.

There was a hearing the next day in court. During that hearing it was decided that the boys and their 3 other siblings (who were all in kinship for 7 mths) would go home to their dad! We rejoiced with them as we knew they would much rather be with their siblings and father rather than complete strangers.

The next week we got two calls, both for 2 children-one being an infant (in each case). We could not accommodate this so we passed.

Last Wednesday we got a call for a little girl-5. She also has a brother (4) and we tried to make it work that we could take both-but that did not work out.

So the worker at the agency said he thought it would happen by the beginning of this week (she is in kinship care with her 4 siblings). They are not really in "danger" but the situation is extreme cramping so it was decided it was best to remove them (the 5 year old, 4 year old and another sibling).

SO-now it's Tuesday. The worker at the agency we talk to knows nothing. It's all in DHS's hands. I guess since they have other more pressing they are just taking their time.

It's just incredibly frustrating. We're trying to stay flexible but at the same time, do not know at all when she may or may not come.

Is this normal to have everything up in the air with no certainty?

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by dazzlingdeb

Is this normal to have everything up in the air with no certainty?

<giggle> oh you have no idea

[parenting-over-40]

Welcome to the World of Fostering! I know it is frustrating but your first placement is out there. I said yes at least 6 times before I got my first placement. For one reason or another the child/children would be placed somewhere else. Like you, I worked thru an agency and was quite flexible. Thru the calls, the placement person at the agency got to know me. Thus, she worked hard to get me the right placement. In the end, my first placement ended up being perfect as she is still with me today.

Congratulations on your decision to become foster parents.

[lovingheart]

We have learned not to count on a child showing up until they are on our front porch. At the same time they are calling you they are calling others and another caseworker is thinking it should be a stay at home mom, another is looking at you as a fit. It is really quite chaotic. The right placement will come along, believe me.

[mom2fabtwins]

I tell people that I don't believe I have a placement until 15 minutes after they get here.

The twins were coming (1/31) not coming (2/2) Possibly coming (2/8), definately not coming (2/11), call on (2/15) that they were being born - was I ready.......(2/18 - 8:30 am) maybe coming, a decision hasn't been made. (2/18 9:45) definitely coming - just not sure what day, (2/18 10:00) not sure still had to talk to parents. (2/18 11:45) when could I drop off the car seats for the car seat study? They needed me to pick them up by 5:00 pm and needed to do the study which takes 90 minutes each. I guess something happened between 10:00 and 11:45! I have had them for the 19 months since and the adoption date is 10/13.

It is a CRAZY world of uncertainty! Not for the fickle hearted. I always have a plan A, B and C (and sometimes a plan Q). When you deal with the government NOTHING is certain. In the morning I get up whomever sleep the night.....at the end of the day I tuck them in - sometimes they are the same kids, sometimes more, sometimes less - but loved the same - each and every one! Welcome to the Journey.

[c.a]

Originally Posted by DannieAS

<giggle> oh you have no idea

Dannie - I love your sense of humor.

Let's see - For my long term placements . . . the first one we had two hours notice for. The second was supposed to come on Thursday - they called on Tuesday and said they were in the car and would be at the house in ten minutes. The third one came as an emergency placement in the middle of the night and stayed for seven months. The fourth they emailed me at 2:00 in the afternoon and I picked her up at 5:15.

Of course, in between each placement I had several calls with potential placements that didn't work out for one reason or another.

Be patient - the right placement will come.

Welcome to the wild rollercoaster of fostering. Put on your seatbelts . . . it's going to be a bumpy ride. HAHAHA!

[dachshunds4you]

Everyone else has been sooooo correct! What's great is they are calling you. You will get a placement soon again.

I'd not hold my breath on this placement until they are calling saying we're coming. If they call you about another placement, take them, don't wait for this original one that might never happen.

Best to you!

[DannieAS]

dazzlingdeb,

I'm a pre-adoptive home...so i get matched, then I go to disclosure, then I get visitation/transition to my home.

I had just gotton word that a "sure fire" match had a lot of complications to the point where I think my cw has to find another match for me. I didn't even make it to disclosure meeting so my first reply was just after I learned that....

I'm not getting very "excited" until I actually have a kid in my house. There's just too many steps.

[dazzlingdeb]

Our current situation though is that we have heard NOTHING! According the the guy at our agency-he thought it would happen by Tuesday. Well he called Tuesday to say he had heard nothing and that him and his supervisor were leaving messages for DHS--with no call backs.

It's now been over a week and I'm tempted to just say forget it, so that we can be "open" again to another child.

It's not really a matter of it not being the right placement, who knows, it could be the perfect fit. But we know nothing which is just getting old.

Our situation is that if we are going to have a placement before the baby comes, it needs to be--well yesterday. We said we would take a placement up till October 1 (which is about when we got the call for this girl). If this doesn't go through I doubt we'll feel comfortable taking a child in till after December.

I just want to get started. It's been a 6 month process between trainings, home studies, clearances, etc.

Doesn't it seem though that if DHS really needed to remove this girl that it would have happened? It's been a week and DHS hasn't initiated any contact wit our agency.

[dachshunds4you]

We had something similar happen. We were called with 2 wk old twins. I said yes. Our agency said they were waiting for CPS to confirm if/when they would remove. Their older sib was already in a foster home, and they wanted to be prepared for these 2 babies.
After a week I called our worker bugging him, still didn't know anything.
Finally after 2 wks, I said put us back on the list we're not waiting. They never removed the twins, so glad we didn't keep waiting.

Sometimes, they 'think' they have enough to remove a child. Instead they decide to do visits at keep kids at home, or they're able to find a relative.

That's why I'd say, don't keep waiting for them.

[dazzlingdeb]

So we found out Friday that she was supposed to come today around 3 or 4.

SO at about 2 the guy from our agency calls, he went to the house with DHS and knocked, no one was home!

DHS workers admits she never actually talked to the kinship mom.

So now maybe it'll happen tomorrow.
It's so frustrating because we arranged to be home, rescheduled things for this week, and in the end DHS is still too lazy to do their job.

[dazzlingdeb]

Today we took our name off the list for this placement.

I am 35 weeks pregnant and we had decided that if we were to have a placement before the baby comes then we needed some time, and wanted it to be before October.

We got the call for this little girl September 30, it's now 15 days later.
The guy from our agency finally got in touch with DHS, apparently the great-grandmother of the children died, so they will be going to the funeral on Monday and he really didn't think the placement would happen till later in the week.

We just didn't feel like it would be fair to wait to the last minute to tell them, so we told them today we had to pull our name.

After so much training and waiting, we really just wanted to being this new chapter of our life, but we will wait now till probably December.

[BigLex]

Originally Posted by DannieAS

dazzlingdeb,

I'm a pre-adoptive home...so i get matched, then I go to disclosure, then I get visitation/transition to my home.

Thanks for explaining how it works.