[Valerina]

Hello everyone,

I've been lurking here for awhile, but this is my first post.

My husband and I are in the process of becoming licensed as foster parents as well as having our adoption home study done.

Today we had our individual interviews with our adoptions worker. When we showed up, she surprised us by telling us about a placement available right away that she thought we might be right for (I SO didn't expect that to happen!).

In many ways this child sounds so right for us, but we're thinking we're going to say "no" primarily because the birth parents are affiliated with gangs, which, frankly, scares the crap out of us. The child has an older half-sibling who would be placed with his relatives, and we're afraid that maintaining contact with this sibling (which we do think is important) might expose our family to contact with others who share the birth parents' affiliations.

I'm really not thinking clearly right now because we were sort of blindsided by this today. Are we being too paranoid about the gang connection or does this seem like a legitimate concern?

[ABJones]

There are always ways you can protect yourself. However, you never know what people are capable of. My advice is if it doesn't feel right for you, then it probably isn't. Give yourself a day to think it over. Good luck and god bless.

[greenrobin]

Just remember this--if you do decide to foster at all, the situations that our children come from are almost always less than desirable--that's why they're with us.

Our foster children have come from backgrounds of drugs, violence, and yes, even gang activity (mom). My very first group were 2, 6, 7, and 8 and they all had "street" names! And there were always visits done at visit centers with security right there.

But, like ABJones said, you know what's right for your family. Have you voiced your concerns with your worker? She may be able to help you with your fears. And, in the end, if this is not a good fit, you'll know.

No, you're not being dumb. Just cautious.

[SageKitty]

Hi
What did you decide with the gang situation? We have been offered that opportunity twice and refused twice. I feel bad, but there would have been continued contact through an older sibling placed with family. Even if nothing ever happened, it was the fear that it could happen and we would have been looking over our shoulders. Good luck!