[Waiting4OurBoys]

Hi All,

I'm feeling a little distressed...annoyed...all sorts of things. We want to adopt a sibling group that is currently in foster care, preferrably with TPR already done or close to it. Our county in NC "doesn't do straight adoption because we NEED foster parents". Ok, they eventually said that they do it, but the adoption people aren't even talking to new people right now because the waiting list is so long. That would be the list of people waiting to adopt! Can this be for real? We have almost 600 kids in this county currently in foster care and only 50 licensed foster homes. I get it, they need foster homes. I've done fostering before and I don't want to have to say good-bye. We are willing to take that sibling group of 5 kids ages 3-14 that nobody else wants because there are so many, or the oldest ones are too old. There are kids all over the country that need families, so why is this so difficult? Is it just because we are going through DSS? Is there a better way? Is there ANY other way?

We've just completed our 2nd MAPPS class and I'm annoyed. People stoll in there late and disrupt the class after I've busted my neck to be there on time and ready to go. It feels more like a social gathering than a necessary class. We don't have time to cover all of the material t be covered because of all the needless chit chat. Is it just me being a hag or what? Let me hear your opinions PLEASE!!!

Thanks!

[mom2fabtwins]

In my state, once the child(ren) are TPRed and come under the care of the state, the state hires an outside agency to do the adoptions. (for me it is LSS) The parents that are adopting my previous placement got licensed straight thru them - as an adoptive home. The kids are from Foster care. Depending on age, the wait can be real short - matter of weeks. You may want to check to see who the state uses.

You could always get licensed as a respite provider instead of a foster home - we need those too! Then you could start to form a band and have "second dibs" after the foster parents.

[greenrobin]

Or you could go through a private agency that contracts with the state and license as an adopt only home. I know there are kids on the adoptuskids.org board from NC who are available.

Or you could license as foster to adopt and set your restrictions to accepting only kids who have either legal risk status or have already TPRd.

There are ways around the "no straight adopt" answer.

We didn't want to adopt, foster only. Now we're adopting. Our agency is feeling a little sad that they've lost a 5 bed home. We're not quitting, but we now only have 3 beds!

Good luck in your search!

[stevenstwin]

ARE there a lot of children ready and waiting to be adopted where you are? Where I live (and I can only speak for one small area of my country, of course), there are very, very FEW children who are adoptable, even though there are HUNDREDS in foster care and we are, indeed, desperately short of foster families. So I'm thinking that might be the case where you are - lots and lots of kids in foster care, but very few cases look like going towards TPR?

[blueflower]

It sounds like the OP has a specific sib group in mind. Is it not possible to become foster parents, but only accept this specific group? We have some in our class right now who are only taking it for a similar reason.

[lovemy6]

Go through a private agency. From there you can adopt waiting children in NC. My friends have done this 3 times and have adopted 5 kids (two are siblings sets). Do not go through DCFS if you want to straight adopt.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by blueflower

It sounds like the OP has a specific sib group in mind. Is it not possible to become foster parents, but only accept this specific group? We have some in our class right now who are only taking it for a similar reason.

oh, perhaps - I thought she was using that more metaphorically, as an example of what might be out there.

[akg1229]

I am from NC too and I went through a private agency... they licensed me and all that too but I am strictly adoption. If you live around WNC I know of an agency that could help you out. They also train you well on what to expect because they do more therapeutic training too, even if you decide on less special needs children you'll be prepared for things that may pop up. There are also other agencies out there who do the same thing at little or no cost to you. You can find them listed at NC kids.

[ladyjubilee]

Originally Posted by Waiting4OurBoys

There are kids all over the country that need families, so why is this so difficult? Is it just because we are going through DSS? Is there a better way? Is there ANY other way?

We've just completed our 2nd MAPPS class and I'm annoyed. People stoll in there late and disrupt the class after I've busted my neck to be there on time and ready to go. It feels more like a social gathering than a necessary class. We don't have time to cover all of the material t be covered because of all the needless chit chat. Is it just me being a hag or what? Let me hear your opinions PLEASE!!!

Thanks!

You can go through an agency. Or get a home study, check nckids and try to find such a placement and have your home study submitted.


Thing is, did you express this frustration via body language in the class? Cause if soooo. Well, the social workers may (perhaps unfairly but humanly) be wondering if you'd be impatient with a child, in your case multiple children, who would more than likely have some pretty hefty issues. Which means they may drag their feet.

Also there are lots of children in foster care, but many are in relative placements. Then the majority of kids in foster care will get to go home (which can be great )Some kids that are in foster care will be adopted by their foster families....then there are some kids past the age of consent who will just say "no" to be adopted. And in other cases the case workers are looking ahead. Recently I was under consideration for an adoptive placement that wasn't yet an adoptive placement. The foster family for reasons of their own were not interested in adoption and the case plan was still reunification---just in case, though I waited in the wings. They get to go home though ((I'm really happy for them.))

[akg1229]

There are several older children that really need good adoptive homes in NC... only a few sibling groups. try adoptuskids also, they will send you info and try to get you hooked up with an agency. you can also look at the waiting children and get a better idea at the children you will be open to adopting in state.

[Krispy]

My best friend just adopted a sib set of 7 from Texas. They are all so beautiful and she lives no where near Texas. See if your state will send your homestudy out of state. If not, I agree with the other posts which say to get a private study and send it out. Oregon has a ton of sib sets and when they are legally free, they can be sent out of state. Too many kids need forever families, not short term care.

[shy_bear]

We just recently looked at getting recertified. We ended up walking away b/c they are no longer doing low legal risk; you are a fp then IF and when the child becomes available you will be asked to adopt. We have no interest in fostering and don't want a stream of kids in and out of our home nor do we want a child here for an extended period of time to leave. I totally get the need to give fc a sense of belonging and not move them around, but I also feel that a lot of these counties are losing great prospective families.