[JRobot]

Hi!

I've been lurking on the board for a while, but this is my first post. My partner and I are starting the foster-to-adopt process with our introductory meeting *tonight*!

We're hoping to move through as quickly as possible, although the posts on this board have taught me to expect the unexpected at all turns.

I will be the primary care-taker for the foster period and beyond for a few years at least, and am prepared to work only part-time at the most (we're looking for school-aged kids, so I hope to be able to work a few hours/day during the school year).

I have some questions about PRIDE courses (the foster parent preparation classes). My schedule is very flexible and I'll be able to take them ASAP.

My partner's schedule is far less free - she works in an inflexible industry and often has to be on-call on weekends. Is it OK for only one of the two parents to take the classes or do both have to? If there are scheduling problems, are there any online options for her? She's already used up her vacation time for this year, so that's not an option until next January.

Any info is appreciated. Of course, at this stage I'm too nervous to ask about this at the orientation, because I don't want to be seen as not committed. We are both very committed, but her schedule just won't fit all-day classes.

Thanks!
Jay

[DianeS]

Welcolme!

The answer to whether both of you have to take the classes will vary by state - so if you post your state you'll get more accurate responses. Moast states require both parents to attend in-person classes, but there are one or two that allow just one to do it.

That said, I recommend that instead of your goal being to move through this process as quickly as possible, you would be better served to have a goal of learning as much as possible so you can be the best foster parent possible. That will take longer, but you will be much more ready, and you will appreciate the difference in the long run.

Plus, if you are intending to learn instead of intending to hurry, a schedule of classes that occur once a week in the evenings (but then take more weeks to complete, obviously) will be more of an option for you, and won't conflict with working on the weekend.

And definately DO ask questions at the orientation! If the people at this agency are jerks, or don't know how to answer questions, or give incorrect information, you need to KNOW that! The personality of the people and the agency doesn't always come out in a memorized script. If you work with them, you'll need them to know their stuff, be approachable, and explain it well. Otherwise you could have a miserable experience working with them. Much better to know in advance. So write down every question you have, and ASK!

You won't be seen as "not committed", you'll be seen as people who are checking out their options to see which works best. That skill is VERY necessary once you have foster kids in your home.

Good luck!

[mommytoEli]

our schedules did not permit us to both attend classes at the same time. so i took a condensed weekend class, and dh took the course that was long and drawn out, but a shorter time each time he went....on a weeknight. even then, it wasn't their favorite option....here they encourage couples to attend the same class....but in the end, they worked with us as long as we both completed our requirements...class included. so maybe ask if there is a class that would accomodate her schedule a little bit better. we had to travel to two different counties to find our two different classes, but whatever works, right? good luck!

[JRobot]

Thanks for the info and advice! Maybe she can look into taking time off as medical leave or something.

We're in Washington State. I haven't been able to find anything state-specific about the requirements, but I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for.

[Shelly77]

We took most of the classes together but there was one that my husband couldn't attend. So we took it separate - two different Saturdays.

I would ask - I don't see it as being less committed at all.

[ANEIRA]

My husband's schedule was not flexible either so they let us take DT classes where an instructor came to our house every saturday for 7 weeks and held class with us for an hour to 2 hours each week.

[TxMom65]

In our case we both had to take it. My husband had to take off for some of the classes.

[Larue]

We're in WA State, and both my husband and I had to attend classes. To my knowledge the instruction has to be face-to-face. We took our PRIDE classes through an organization called "Families Like Ours" in Seattle. And took our CPR and First Aid course through "Keep the Beat". They have locations throughout WA. We're working with a private agency licenced to place children for the State. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like more info on WA requirements.

Best wishes in your journey!

[fostapeepz]

We both had to attend classes, and both of us have to get credit hours each year to keep our license. We can do a percentage of our ongoing education hours online, but I don't think we can do all of them there and they do not offer the Pride classes online. We can also do 'book reports' and watch some videos to fill some hours. There were some couples when we were getting our Pride classes done that alternated classes (they both attended the first, and then they attended separately after that). They were allowed to do that, but both had to fill out and turn in their homework.

[JRobot]

Thanks to all for your responses! We've found a class with evening and weekend options that's close enough to her job that she can still be on-call.