[jcm]

...that most of the kids in your area needing fostering or adopting were of school age?

Reason I ask is that I just got off the phone with a really nice lady who works for the foster to adopt program, and she said she didn't want to dash my hopes, but that they rarely see infant placements. Mainly it's kids 6 and up.

I guess I was naively thinking that we would find a baby or toddler through this route, but right now my hopes are pretty crushed.

[JustAntotherThought]

We were told that, with the exception of infants/toddlers with special needs (physical, behavioral, medical, psycological)

unless you go through a private adoption agency

[sunnyrobins]

We were told that its possible but rare for infants to be placed through foster-to-adopt unless they were part of a sib group.

[Longing2bMom]

I'm going through classes now with a fost/adopt agency in Northern California and they told us that they mostly get kids ages 0 to 8 and frequently have infants and toddlers available, especially if you are willing to take any race/gender. Several people in my class were referred to this agency by friends or coworkers who were successful in adopting a baby. I'm hoping they're right, because I can't imagine full-time working single woman in their 40's (like me) are going to go to the top of the priority list. If they don't get babies very often, I'm in for a very long wait!

[skylark_25]

I think families hoping to get infants get told that alot by agencies. It's not that young children don't come into care, but CPS rarely know for sure that an infant will be going up for adoption in the begining. Since your ultimate goal is to adopt, she is probably worried that you wouldn't be prepared for the for the high possiblility of RU. Infants do come into care and adoptions do happen all the time, but the bioparents are almost always given a chance to work a plan and get their kids back. Some states do have foster to adopt programs specifically for those looking for infants. Here in TX that is not the case. I say if you are set on having a young child or infant, stick to your guns, but you always need to be prepared for the possibility of losing them to RU.

Becca

[mommamarci]

In my state (Indiana) they generally say for a straight adoption, expect the child to be 7 or over. It is occasionally possible, but a lot of the time, the foster family adopts the child.

One suggestion I have: If you know foster families that don't usually adopt, talk to them about doing respite care. I have a friend who began doing repsite for a little 8 month old boy. The foster mom knew it was moving towards adoption. When he did become available, my friend was chosen as an adoptive placement for him. I have heard this is fairly common.

[carlychan]

Does your state have a foster to adopt program? Here in CA you can get infants if you do concurrent placement. You would be dual licensed (foster and adopt). Most infants/toddlers who become adoptable are in these homes (or "regular" foster homes) and are adopted by them. It is a risk, but a smaller risk than straight foster homes.

[mommytoEli]

in ca there were tons of babies if you did fost/adopt, in our county in tn there are ZERO babies...they said they rarely place children 0-2 in a foster home here, they often go with family. i think it just completely depends on your state and county. i've asked and asked and asked everyone i can think of in our new county, they all sing the same song. at the time we were licensed there were TWO children 0-2 in foster care in our entire county of over 150,000 people. one of them was our son. lol. here they won't typically license you unless you agree to take children 9-18. our new worker this week said that most of her cases are juvenille delinquent cases where parents have turned their children over to cps because they could no longer handle them. a completely different system and set of children than our county in ca.

[Prettyboicris]

It depends on where you are. It can go either way. No matter what state you are in there will be more older children available but younger children will be less likely that doesnt mean that they arent there. I have read multiple times on here people with broad ranges in terms of age so they can adopt through foster care and end up gettign a newborn and adopting them. It is the luck of the draw. Also it depends on the laws of your state and what there priority is and how they go about their TPR

[jcm]

Thank-you everyone for your replies.

In Maryland, I was told by the SW that a child has to be in foster care for 14 months before they TPR. Most of the children are older. She was very kind, and kept stressing that they try to place all children with ANY relative before putting them in foster care...and that they are quit adamant about RU.

I figured that, but I didn't figure that infants were a scarcity here. Guess that's good and bad...

[ScrapMonkey]

When a baby is taken into care it will go to a regular foster home because mom and dad have to have time to work their caseplan to get the baby back. Quite often, relatives will be found to take an infant. Bios will often start of working their plans and have every intention of getting their baby back... but time goes on and sometimes the bios slack off and even drop off the face of the earth. By now the baby is several months old, court is every 6 months, time passes and the baby gets older while in a foster home or in a relative's home. When enough time has passed and the judge agrees DFS can seek to terminate parental rights, the "baby" is more likely than not a toddler now. He has attached and bonded to his foster family or caregiver. If TPR is granted, the person caring for that child is usually given the first opportunity to adopt. Many, many foster parents will adopt that child they've had from birth and now love as their own. Relatives are now sought out more strongly as part of the TPR process as, generally, a relative coming forward is more desirable than even the foster parent who has had the child from birth. Most of these children will get a perm. home through this process.

Who won't? Often, larger sibling groups and kids with special needs too severe for the foster family or family members to take on. Not that these kids don't find homes, they often do, but many do not.

It is not easy to find an adoptable infant in the foster care system. That said, we've brought home 3 newborns from the hospital. The first is now our son. The second was supposed to be with us a day or two while mom worked a private adoption plan. The agency dropped her when she flaked on two appointments, even though there was a family waiting and a baby born. We were not looking to adopt him and he was adopted by a loving family the same day we adopted our second son. The third newborn is now 7-month old and I think she'll go back home (though we adore her and wish we could keep her forever). None of our babies were "a sure thing" for adoption. They all came to us as regular foster placements, NOT foster adopt, although the two boys quickly went "fast track" to adoptions.

Foster Adopt is certainly no guarentee to an infant adoption BUT if you are willing to love a baby that might go home until you get the one that stays, it's a valid way to find your family. Foster Adopt made me a mom and it made us a family but it is NEVER an easy road. Never.