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  #1  
Old 01-13-2009, 10:40 AM
leelee90 leelee90 is offline
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Smile Pro's and Con's to Foster Parenting?

Can anyone tell me the 'frank' pro's and con's to doing foster care?
Would like to hear from as many of you as possible, including your success stories. Thx.
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  #2  
Old 01-13-2009, 10:51 AM
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jphollen jphollen is offline
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Wow...not sure where to start. Lots of Pro's- Making a difference in a child's life, offering them safety and security, teaching them life skills, loving them and seeing it in return (sometimes

Cons- It's not easy, It's hard. It's hard to help them overcome or accept what they have been through, it's hard to parent some who have never been parented and resent you for trying. It's expensive, contrary to popular belief the state doesn't usually pay you (some rare professional fp exceptions) or reimburse you well.

Bottom line if you want to do it, it's worth it.
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  #3  
Old 01-13-2009, 11:03 AM
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Pro's: you get to help a child for the time you have them. Possible make an impact on how the rest of their life will be. That's the truly rewarding part. Some people get to adopt through foster care. All of the pro side for me stems from the first statement about helping them and all you get back by being a parent.

Con's: The con side for me deals with all of the things that seem to be in the best interest of the bios and not the children. It costs me more than the state reimbursement. Lack of knowledge about the legal workings.

We do it because we feel like we are good parents and have the skills necessary to help children in foster care. I have a positive attitude about life in general so I don't let the negative things weigh me down.
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  #4  
Old 01-13-2009, 11:04 AM
leelee90 leelee90 is offline
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thank you for your reply, I am in Or. I was told the state pays for their exspenses.
can you tell me anything else. have you ever fostered to adopt?
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Old 01-13-2009, 11:06 AM
leelee90 leelee90 is offline
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Thanks so much for that, what are the exspenes that you have to pay?
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  #6  
Old 01-13-2009, 11:22 AM
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jphollen jphollen is offline
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I am not in OR but your rates look to me to be similar to my state. Looks like 378-485 according to Nationwide Foster Care Rates.

Let me give you an example I get about $400 per month for current fs age 10. However it costs me more like $600 a month to raise him. His feet grow fast and he plays ball (the agency will cover some sports and equipment fees but not everything. Or his sister who gets about $350, but we spend nearly $200 a month in diapers (she is allergic to the elastic in some of the less pricey brands and our state doesn't have a diaper allowance) so if you throw food in the mix we are already over. I am not complaining, just warning new people that the majority of us seem to have more expenses than are stipend is thats all.

Medical and dental expenses are covered by Medicaid. Finding a dr/dentist who will take it can be a little challenging in my area. (we are really RURAL).
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Last edited by jphollen : 01-13-2009 at 12:09 PM.
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  #7  
Old 01-13-2009, 11:43 AM
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fostapeepz fostapeepz is offline
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We have twin 5yo girls and an 18mo old boy. The stipend for the girls covers them pretty well - we get much less for the baby and it doesn't really cover his needs at all. We figure the 3 kind of balance out and it's managable. The state also gives us some reimbursement for mileage and covers daycare when I'm at work, and all the kids medical is covered by medicaid.

We love working with the kids, even with their challenges. Working with the state is very frustrating, and the stress has actually affected my health over the past couple of years. Everyone says we're making a difference in the lives of the kids we have come through here, so we hope it's worth it.
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Old 01-13-2009, 12:06 PM
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Being new as well - I am hoping this thread will offer lots of information.
We received a packet from the county and in it there is a list per age range of the amount received per day. For infants its est. $20 through preteens at $30 (per day) is this accurate?
Also, does anyone know why the time frame varies in each county? For example, the county I live in, the classes (MAPP) begin at the end of March and they told me the entire process takes 10-12 weeks at most. Then I call the neighboring county (which is smaller) and their classes begin late March as well, however, they told me that I could expect a placement early January of 2010.
Thats a big difference.

I have been reading through this site on a daily basis, and due to not being a foster parent just yet, I dont really have much to share. But I do want to get to know everyone, and be a part of the board, so I am trying to post where I can offer so input.

I must say though, this is one of the most informative boards I have come across (re: adoption/foster). Its so great to have it stay on topic and the information is extremely helpful.
There are other sites I became a member on as well, but the groups seem to be tight knit and mostly post about their daily lives, stuff they have for sale, where there are deals..etc. lol.
Anyway - thanks to everyone for always offering the information.

Looking forward to getting to know everyone.

Alina

ps. If there is anything you'd like to ask about me, please dont hesitate.
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  #9  
Old 01-13-2009, 12:30 PM
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We get $26 and change a day for each of our kids. I don't know if the rate changes for older kids, though.

The difference in counties probably has something to do with the number of calls they have. I live in a rural county and have never had a call from them. Surrounding counties, which are by no means urban, have larger cities and therefore a higher population. With that comes a higher rate of kids in care. They may also be running all day classes to get you through your training sooner. The 30 hours are clock hours, so it can be done in 5 days.

Pros to foster care: KIDS. You get to help. You get to love them. They love you back. Your life is busy. KIDS.

Cons: your life is busy. Lots of state types are coming in and out of your house regularly. There are multiple hoops to jump through every day. Court dates. Allegations and investigations. Your time is not your own any longer.

I see that my list of cons is longer than the pros. So what. My pros start and end with kids. That trumps everything in my book.

It is not a rosy, romantic venture. It can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Sometimes you do everything right and it all goes wrong. Sometimes the kids never get over hating you. Sometimes a child you deeply love is returned to a situation you cannot understand. Often you're dealing with confused, angry, hurt little folks who have no concept of love and safety.

But then sometimes, the kids start to get a clue. You see them gain weight and grow and play. You're the one they seek out when they are tired or don't feel well. You get to watch first steps and hear first words, and wipe away tears from owies. And sometimes they stay.

Oh, yeah. Pros win.
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  #10  
Old 01-13-2009, 12:49 PM
leelee90 leelee90 is offline
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What state are you in?
Thanks alot for your insight.
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  #11  
Old 01-13-2009, 01:13 PM
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Texas.

It's a big place!

They also do very interesting things, like overreact.

FLDS and the YFZ Ranch for instance led to the fear of removing anyone for anything short of imminent danger to life or limb.

Yeah, that'll work.
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  #12  
Old 01-13-2009, 01:17 PM
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I averaged our monthly total between 3 kids, and it adds up to $15 a day, pr kid. Quite a bit under TX. But then it's pretty well nationally known that our state is at the bottom of the reimbursement scale.
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Old 01-13-2009, 01:46 PM
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vegaschristina vegaschristina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jphollen
Or his sister who gets about $350, but we spend nearly $200 a month in diapers (she is allergic to the elastic in some of the less pricey brands and our state doesn't have a diaper allowance)

With her having an allergy, you might look into Medicaid covering her diapers. You would need a prescription, and it might be a hassle to set it up, but if you could get those $200 in diapers covered, it would be worth it!


I'm in Nevada and we get $682/month for each of our kids (age 2 and 3) and we're in process to adopt them. We foster/adopted our oldest and then got her bio siblings as each came into care. Bmom is expecting (due next month) and this is the first child that I think she has an actual chance to parent. Its so exciting to watch, not only the kids, but the parents grow as individuals. I'm really hoping that she succeeds this time.

Pros: Singing songs. Giggles. Tickle fights. Hearing "I love you" all day long. Snuggles. Hugs. Sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. Hearing "Mommy!" whenever I walk in the room.

Cons: I really hate having to deal with the CWs and all of those state-types. I hate that there is never a direct answer from anyone. I hate that my kids have to wait forever for their adoptions to finalize because of paperwork.
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  #14  
Old 01-13-2009, 02:05 PM
leelee90 leelee90 is offline
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Thank you for your possitive feed back.
What do you tell your 5 yr. old when she ask about her parents? I think that would be that hardest, or do the kids take it well?
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  #15  
Old 01-13-2009, 02:16 PM
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jphollen jphollen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vegaschristina
With her having an allergy, you might look into Medicaid covering her diapers. You would need a prescription, and it might be a hassle to set it up, but if you could get those $200 in diapers covered, it would be worth it!

Thanks! I may just have to check into that! As she is developmentally delayed, we won't be potty training anytime soon, so the diapers are here to stay for awhile.
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