[LollipopsAndGumdrops]

We want to do a straight adoption in TX. We've thought and prayed and know that's where we're called and that we are not currently called to being a fost/adopt or concurrent planning type home. We're being warned by other parents that it takes the longest to be placed when you aren't already a foster home, and so being pressured to get the fost/adopt license anyway in order to "keep our options open."

Will you help me to weigh the pros and cons to help figure out what is best for us?

On the one side, by fostering, we'll be able to help out while waiting to be matched and placed with our future children and we'll be working with other foster parents and their workers to help identify possible matches sooner and be more likely to be placed faster.

If we did this, we're thinking we could maybe do short-term care for infants. We aren't looking for an infant to adopt and could emotionally love them while they're here and send them home when it is time. However, I'm getting the impression that the only babies in care are going through withdrawals and scream constantly or have other extensive medical needs, which we couldn't handle. Is this an accurate picture?

On the other side, considering that we wouldn't be accepting foster kids on concurrent planning or legal risk situations, wouldn't accept any child old enough to walk, can't take in high medical needs babies, etc should we just drop it and stick with straight adopt like we planned?

Any thoughts or advice?

Suzanna

[fredalina]

i think it's a very personal decision. If you have fully learned about both options and still feel stronly about straight adoption, you should stick to your guns. If, however, you haven't fully learned about fostering or foster/adopt, i think you should keep an open mind and learn about it before making the decision.

In my state, straight adoption is only available to those wanting to adopt 3 or more kids at once (sibling group) or children over 9 or those with severe physical or behavioral issues. My DH and i are interested in school age kids under age 9, like between 5 and 8, and we would possibly be interested in a small sibling group of 2-3 but not large groups, and we don't feel we can handle severe medical or behavioral issues. So we were disappointed to learn this, but went to our classes with an open mind, and about halfway through we decided we really could be foster parents.

What changed us? i think it was a change in our thinking from "we're doing this for the children" to "we're doing this for the family". We really DO want children to be able to stay with their families when their families can provide a safe home for them. And if the families can't or won't, we'd love to have the option of providing it for them. Sounds like foster/adopt to me!

[craftingmama]

gosh no! our first placement was a 5 week old premie! he was AWESOME! I'd take babies all the time if htey were like him. He slept a lot, only cried when he was hungry or needed a diaper change. he was and still is a sweet boy. he had some 'risk' issues, but even the apnea monitor just wasn't a big deal.

[LollipopsAndGumdrops]

OK, so still open and deciding, then.

Thanks, ladies!

Any other experiences, insights, or advice?

[bethy724]

I would get lisenced for both because it is the same EXACT training & I think to be "adoptive" is one more piece of paper-get it all done in one shot.

A fellow fp is only foster & now wants to adopt & it is literally one piece of paper signed to be adoptive & it has taken over 6 months & she still hasn't gotten the new lisence.

It is a personal decision but get all the info before starting the process - or ask a lot of questions along the way.

[CaddoRose]

I'm in texas too. i can tell you that the difference between straight adoption and foster/adopt is this: with straight adoption you are waiting for a child to be placed with you that has either been given over to the state(as in a Mom asking the state to place her child) or the parents of the child have already been TPR'd by the state based on abuse, neglect, etc.(termination of parental rights).With foster to adopt, you are taking children whose parents still have parental rights. The state hasn't terminated them yet or ever.

There are so many reasons that children/babies come into care that there is no one way scenario on how it will go. plenty of people have taken a child and be told that the rights are going to be terminated and then find out it doesn't happen. Ont he other hand, there are just as many people who have taken a child that they thought would only be there for a while adn ended up adopting.

I would say that foster/adopt is a tougher road if you're intend is to adopt and you do not have an interest in just fostering. If you are open to fostering, then you put yourself in a position where you can be known by the CW at CPS or your agency and then they might choose you for an adoption over someone else they aren't familiar with.

Either way, it's good to learn as much as you can about both paths. It can help you decide what ages you might be interested in. Since you aren't interested in adopting an infant, you are already in a category where you would be more likely to get an adoptive placement even if you didn't foster because most people are looking for an infant. But you should also know that most people are looking for ages 0-2 yrs.