[rm2000hg]

I have been wanting to be a foster parent for a while. I am just now at the point of starting the process but I am afraid that I wouldn't be good enough. The two people I know who have done foster care were both stay at home parents with grown children. They both have huge houses and lots of money. I am 26, single, work full time, and only have a 10x10 extra bedroom in my apartment. I have a lot of experience with kids with all sorts of different special needs and I feel like I can relate to some of the emotional issues the kids would face due to my past. How do you know if you would be good enough? If there are other people that could provide more, would I be a disservice to the kids?

[chevyjewel]

If you care enough to even contemplate helping others in this way, you're likely more than qualified.

Believe it or not, what you have to offer currently is more than some kids can even imagine. Not only that, but a big house has nothing on a big heart. That that's what these kids need most.

We don't have a big house or lots of money, most foster parents I know don't either, and many here are working miracles with kids despite them being single so please don't let that sway you

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by rm2000hg

I have been wanting to be a foster parent for a while. I am just now at the point of starting the process but I am afraid that I wouldn't be good enough.

I think everyone worries about that when they start the process. It's normal to have anxiety. But think of it this way, will you love these children? Feed them? Clothe them? Take them to school? Take them to the doctor? Hold them when they're sick? Be patient with them when they tantrum? If the answer is "yes", you're good enough. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to love kids and have the patience to deal with their emotional needs.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by chevyjewel

If you care enough to even contemplate helping others in this way, you're likely more than qualified.

i was going to say the same thing.

the thing is....even as i look back on my years doing foster care...i can definitely see where someone more experienced would have made a better choice and done a better job. maybe my kids would have been better off with someone other than a 25 and 26 year old newlywed couple with no kids. but, i didn't do too bad. my kids lived...so did i....although sometimes i think *barely.* lol. i think as much as i can dwell on how a different family may have been better for my kids...i think it could have also been worse. i think the best you could do at this point is go through the classes and decide if it is something that you can do. the good thing about foster care, is you can quit. lol. so if you go through it, get a placement, and decide it is not for you, you can decide to never do it again.

[CaddoRose]

For every one of us who becomes a foster parent there are literally thousands of good parents out there who don't. There is such a great need for people who care and can provide for the needs of children who come into care from many different situations. If you have the desire to help children in this way, then don't worry about whether someone else might be better at it. The greater disservice would be to not help at all. There are all kinds of people who foster including single people and those with only one extra bedroom, but that one person and one extra bedroom can provide a child with the place and the love that they need.

If you haven't, go to an informational meeting at your local CPS or call and talk to someone about what you need to do to be licensed. You'll learn so much once you get into the classes.

[basimah]

These are the same doubts you have when thinking about becoming a bio parent. It's natural to think that and I think it's good to go into it realizing that you have a lot to learn....it keeps you open. But you can't learn this stuff from the books and every kid will be different. You just do the best you can and ask for help whenever you think you need it.

[rm2000hg]

Thank you all for your responses. I know that this is something that I want to do. I just want to make sure that it is the rightthing to do and that I am not just being over eager

[Boulderbabe]

When I started fostering, I was 34, single, I worked full time, and I lived in a 1200 square foot townhome in a rough neighborhood.

Now, seven years later, I have a wonderful, amazing son. We live in a house now, but it's not anything fancy. I'm still single, I still work full time, and we're still not rich. But I've taken care of him, and a bunch of other kids, too! (I think including respites, I'm at 15. Which is nothing compared to some people!)

My son's life is so much better than it would have been without me. He's healthy, happy, learning to read, and having learning experiences and adventures he never would have had if he weren't adopted. Was I perfect? Nope. Better than the alternative? Absolutely. A reasonably good mom giving him a reasonably good life? You bet.

You can do this, too. Kids don't need a ton of money, they don't need a fancy house, and they don't even need you to be a SAHM. They need love, patience, consistency, and your willingness to keep learning more about parenting as you go along. Sounds like you've got that in spades. :-)

[rm2000hg]

I have another question...

While in my heart I very much want to foster children, I do not have any strong desire to adopt.

Should this be a warning sign???

[AZInsider]

Not wanting to adopt by no means you shouldn't foster! There are plenty of families out there that are willing to serve as foster parents but don't wish to adopt. And should there be a child in your care who does end up needing an adoptive home and you feel THEN that you want to be the adoptive parent, then you still can! You don't have to decide your entire future today :-)

[rm2000hg]

Thank you!
i think and worry a lot before making decisions... well at least really big decisions...