[BunnyZ]

Hi,

We have an appointment tomorrow with our county. They will be Presenting the case history of a child that we may be interested in adopting. This is our first "Presentation", so I was wondering what questions I should ask the social worker about the child.

Please help!

Thanks!

[reapingjoy]

We were in that situation in January & are now disrupting because of the significant undiagnosed SN this little girl has. Some questions I would ask (& pay much better attention to the answers than I did then):

What are the diagnosed SN?
Was there any drug/alcohol exposure prenatally (if so, how much - and don't trust the fact that the bmom says she quit, it may be true, but may not be true)?
Did he/she reach developmental milestones on time? If not, was there any Early Intervention?
Is the child in any type of therapy right now?
What is the foster home like where the child is right now (# of other children, birth order of this child, single foster parent or couple, etc.)?
If the child has been moved multiple times, what was the reason each time?
If the child is in school, I would definitely ask all about performance, any IEPs, maybe talk to the teacher....

I wish I had paid closer attention to the red flags I saw then, but I was so excited and trusted the fact that the SW was telling me she was completely healthy & developmentally on target.

Good luck! :-)

[Mkuhlmann06]

Here is a good list to ask about any child that you may be considering as an adoptive placement. I got these off of this website, but can't find the original poster to give them credit.

1. Environment/background/care

· Why is this child not living with their biological parents?

· How old was the child when they came into care?

· Siblings?

· Biological family medical background?

· What is known about the birth parents?

· What has the child been told about their bio family?

· What was the last contact with them?

· Any continued contact with friends, family members, etc?

· Number of previous placements?

· Why did the child have to move?

· Has the child shown ability to bond with care giver? Teacher? Other children in the home?

· Can we speak to current/previous care givers?

· Cultural background?

· Religious affiliation?


2. Functioning in the family

· How have they adjusted to this home?

· How do they handle routine expectations / chores?

· How are they about expressions of affection, about touching?

· Do they prefer men to women, women to men?

· How do they take care of possessions?

· How well do they get along with other children in the household?

· Do they prefer same age, younger or older play mates?

· What is a typical day like for them?

· What type of discipline works best for them?

· What doesn't work for them?

· What problems have occurred at home that you feel we should be aware of and how did you handle them?

· Have there been any behaviors we should be aware of such as wetting the bed, aggression, terrible nightmares etc.

3. Self

· What kinds of feelings does the child have about themselves?

· How does the child handle failure, stress, happiness, anger, pain, anxiety?

· Is the child aggressive towards caregivers or other children?

· What strengths does the child have?

· Does the child have a nickname?

· How well do they communicate?

· Can they talk about their feelings?

· Are there specific things they are afraid of?

· How do they handle these fears?

· What is their experience with animals (dogs, cats, etc.)?

4. Interests/Play

· What do they like to do with their spare time?

· Play alone or with others?

· What kind of play do they avoid?

· Special interests, favorite toys, favorite TV shows?

· Specific likes/dislikes?

· Any sports or organized activities?

5. School

· Academically, are they strong, average, weak?

· How well do they get along with teacher, other kids?

· Any areas of concern or struggle?

· IEP in place? If so, why?

· Learning disorders?

6. Medical

· How is the child's physical and emotional health?

· Physical health – shots up-to-date?

· Regular dental care?

· Hearing/vision status, need glasses?

· Allergies?

· On any medications?

· Doctor's name and phone?

· Any on-going medical issues?


7. Developmental levels

· Developmental levels:
- Social/emotional:
- Cognitive:
- Gross motor, fine motor:
- Adaptive:

· Psychological diagnosis?

· Neurological diagnosis?

· Is the child in therapy? How often?

· Therapist's name and phone?

· What has the child been told regarding sex?

· Any sexual acting out? If so, how/when does it occur?

8. Eating Routines

· Are there any feeding difficulties, table problems?

· Is the child a picky eater?

· Eating habits changed?

· Likes/Dislikes?

9. Sleeping Routines

· Bed wetting? Nightmares? Sleepwalk?

· Bed time routine? Difficult to get to sleep?

· Sleep with a special object?

10. Self Care

· Dress themselves, pick out clothing?

· Bathe themselves, tooth brushing, hair care?

11. Adoption issues

· What does the child understand about adoption? Foster care?

· Has the child mentioned what they would like in a family?

· Has the child been told about adoption and what that would mean to their situation?

· When it is time to move the child, are there any items that you may already know we will need to have in our home? (Items like bikes, scooters, toys, etc.)

· Is there anything you would like to know about us to help you prepare the child when the time comes?

[BunnyZ]

Thank you both very much for responding to my plea for help! I appreciate it! You have both given me wonderful questions to ask! I have been nervous about this, since I didn't know what to ask. I feel a lot less stressed now that I have this list! :-)

Bunny