[Tasmith]

My husband and I have been thinking about becoming foster parents. I currently work at an elementary school, and really love working with kids. The thing is we would like to know what the good and bad things about being foster parents are. Of course I have done research on it, but I would like to hear about real peoples experience. Please everything would help.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by Tasmith

My husband and I have been thinking about becoming foster parents. I currently work at an elementary school, and really love working with kids. The thing is we would like to know what the good and bad things about being foster parents are. Of course I have done research on it, but I would like to hear about real peoples experience. Please everything would help.

This is a good place to start! My interest in this site is from the point of view of a relative who adopted a child out of foster care. Our nephew was with a family for about a year when our ICPC/homestudy was completed. We were so relieved when he was finally placed with us--it got really awful at the end.

So, what does this have to do with you?

We were the relatives that showed up "at the last minute" that many posters talk about. The foster parents had their hearts broken over losing this child, and decided not to foster anymore. By the way, we were't involved at the last minute, it takes a long time to do the paperwork to move a kid out of one state into another.

That is an example of a drawback.

As you read posts, you will hear about wonderful, courageous people selflessly caring for foster children and sometimes building a new forever family. You will laugh and cry reading the messages.

Welcome and congratulations to you both for considering joining this very special group of people, foster parents.

[waitingtobeamom]

The best part is when you can see you are making a difference in the kids lives! Just yesterday our 6yo fd remembered to thank my dh for giving her something at the dinner table and she was quick to point out her good manners. She had just returned home from a weekend visit with birthmom. She said, "I told my mom that I got my good manners from you guys!" Those are the kinds of things that make the bad times worth it!

[luvmykids4]

As a very new foster parent, ( just three weeks ), I already see some pros and cons. On the positive side, you know that you are giving a loving and safe home to someone who really needs it. In the long run, foster kids who have been lovingly cared for will do much better in life, nomatter which direction things turn. There have been documented studies about the positive physical and mental changes in kids who have come into care and are placed in loving homes. Their brains can actually show improvement! You get to experience being a part of these childrens' lives and you grow to love them. On the more challenging side, you get attached to kids that in many cases are going to be reunited with bio family. It pulls at your heart as you go through all of this. It is also scary and worrisome when you know that the 'home' they may go back to is unsafe, unstable and lacking so much that kids need. I am in the midst of this now, and feel we have to hold on and fight for what is best for our foster child. Ultimately, what is meant to happen will.

Hope this helps!

[Elle83]

It has been the most amazing thing I have ever done. The up side is you get to be there at a time in the kids lives when they really need someone. You get this enormous wonderful family (we have had 6 foster kids and loved them all dearly). The cons - the wait in between placements is really hard for me, our extended family does not understand, i have nearly lost my job as i have taken time off with each kid (i have now resigned and am going to school at night), and my heart breaks each and every time i say goodbye (even when i am happy about where they are going), and it can be hard to relate to traditional parents.
Despite how hard it can be it has been worth it all. I wouldn't stop for anything.

[ranoutofnames]

I think the classes set up new foster parents for major disappointment. They are all full of smoke. They try stating foster parents are an integral part of the "team"... bologna... you are treated like second class individuals who are there to be mistreated by the cw.

The really good cw who allow you to be part of the team are few and far between.

The best thing that came of foster parenting for me was my two daughters and the friendships I formed with some of the children and their families. Most of the families I've worked with aren't bad or horrible like you might read in the papers. Many of them just took one wrong path along the way that snowballed to where they couldn't fix it themselves and take care of their children.

[ALfostermom]

Foster parenting is the most rewarding experience i have ever experienced. I wouldn't trade it for a moment. the cons are letting a child go back into a dangerous situation that you and the cw knows is not the best interest of the child. but it is ultimitaly up to our lovely judicial system to determine the fates of these children. although i have no interst in adoption my heart has broken with all 12 children that have left my home-whether to adoption or ru. but like someone mentioned earlier when you know you have made a difference in a life of a child it makes up for all the cons. another con i have found is that friends and family that has never dealt with fc doesn't understand. I lost my best friend of 9 years due to 3 small children in my home at the time. i have found that leaning on other foster parents and developing friendships with them to be a blessing-they r the only ones who understand....

[Tasmith]

Thank you all for being so informative. My husband and I have discussed it further and are going to start the classes in Sept. I look forward to have a child come to my home.