[lapoema]

I'd like to ask a question, but I hope it doesn't come out wrong. Does it seem to you that foster parenting is more or less accepted among certain income ranges? For example, is it more acceptable for people of the middle-middle income range to foster than it is for people of the higher-middle bracket?

This is an honest question... I want to know what the experience of others has been. Is fostering something that is disapproved of in certain social communities? (I know that sounds awful, doesn't it? )

[jbee]

we are low income, but don't look it (not counting our fc stipend, we make about 25k a year, family of 5), the rest of our family makes at least 50-60k, friends too, church too. they are all accepting of it, but the ones that know most of our income is from fc may think we do it for the money. people who don't think we are saints for doing it.
i don't know of anyone in our agency who i think would be high income, but i am kinda out of touch, lol.
i would think low income people would not be seen as good foster families because the stereotype is low incomes are the ones whose kids are in foster care, right?

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

As a former teacher and husband who has a good job, I think people thought we were out of our minds. Of the other families I have met in our area, 99% did not work and their only income was from disability checks, unemployment, and stipends. So it gives the impression to most that these people are in it for the money (and I am sure that some are but some aren't) and people wonder why we do it if we don't need the money. Gee~ could it be for the kids?!?!?! Those who really know me know why we do it, but I know others act very surprised.

Kim

[DianeS]

I'm not sure it has as much to do with someone's income as it has to do with that person's social conscience. I've found, personally, that regardless of income, the people who more easily accept the idea of me fostering children are the ones who also do *something* to better the world in general.

For example, those who volunteer their time, or donate money, or even just pick up litter from the sidewalk in front of their house - if the person does any of those things, they're more open to the idea of someone else (like me) doing something more radical - even fostering children. But if the person does nothing themselves, then they're surprised or even shocked that others do things.

For me, personally, I haven't seen an income correlation. But I'm slightly different than many - I work for a non-profit company, donate to a children's charity, donate to the humane society, help the Salvation Army Christmas drive, and work for an animal rescue. Anyone in those groups I've talked to about fostering has been accepting of the idea. And anyone I've talked to who does none of those things has been dismissive of the idea. So not income-related.

But that's not to say it's not income-related in your area. Birds of a feather flock together, and perhaps each income level in your area is its own little "flock" with its own social norms. Definately something to think about when you're looking for someone to tell about your exciting updates in the world of fostering!

[luvmykids4]

We are not doing it for the money, and know others in the same boat. Then there are those that are doing it for the money. I don't even think that is wrong. If you can make a difference and get paid for it, what is wrong with that? Nothing! My husband and I do notice that some people think it is great, and others have skeptical or negative reactions. Some look down on you thinking you 'must' need the money, while others have a negative attitude toward foster children. We always use it as a chance to speak positively and have seen naysayers change their tune! Ultimately, you have to feel comfortable with the decision. We have plenty of money, but if people think less of me because of this, that is their problem. " It is none of my business what others think of me" I read that in a Wayne Dyer book!

[luvmykids4]

I just reread my post, and noticed where I wrote that we have plenty of money. I don't like the way that sounded. Believe me, we are not the Rockefellers!! I just wanted to make the point that we did not do this for the money, but some people may think we do. We actually did it to add to our family, and make a difference. Anyway, I hope I didn't sound rude. That is not how I meant the sentence to read.

[onhazier]

We are in an area where the western half of our county is extremely affluent and the eastern half of the county is significantly less so. We live in the eastern half of the county in an older neighborhood of blue and white collar families. This is true of the folks in our PRIDE classes and my coworker who is also a foster parent.

So far, when we talk about our decision to foster, we've received lots of positive comments. Adoption is VERY common in our area. It is a very liberal, socially aware community. As a result, I think, regardless of the incomes around us, folks are pretty positive.

[Scrapsathome]

Well, we haven't received much negative reaction. An occasional "WHY?" from someone who can't understand where our motivation is coming from because their personal motivations tend to be focused inward. The first people we knew who had adopted through the DCFS system were what I would call fairly affluent. But even after the wife developed a medically expensive crippling disease they adopted one more to bring their kids to a total of four, so I know money wasn't a factor for them. It was a heart issue, so to speak.

I've met a few people who seem to be of a lower income judging by their appearance, but their vehicles are expensive, so I don't really know if they are or not. How do you really judge that? Do you chat with other foster families about their income level?

I'd call us middle class and I know that finances have nothing to do with how many kids we'd like to foster/adopt. If we end up with more than we originally intended then we'll adjust our budget accordingly.

Jess

[ca-bigsister]

Honestly, of my college friends who are doing really well financially, I don't know anyone who fosters. They are really into their own kids and providing the best for them.

As a teacher, the families I met who were foster families were lower to middle income families. That's just my experience. I would like to say that people with higher income would foster, too, but I haven't met any personally.

[want2adopt_IN]

It depends on what you consider a higher income range. I would guess that my household income is more than most of the FPs that I have met (about 100K), but I would definitely consider myself middle class.

My desire to F/A has nothing to do with money but more with a desire to help children, build a family (I have no bio children), make a difference.

[vernellinnj]

I would probably be considered in a high income bracket. I am single, college educated and in middle management at a large corporation. I don't know anyone like me who fosters. I'm sure they exist, but I don't know anyone. I do know several single, professional women who have adopted (not thru foster).

I like that I don't know anyone like me, perhaps it debunks the stereotype that only certain type of people foster...

[wannafostersoon]

This is my experience, and JMHO, but I think how much household's income is does have some bearing on how a family's intent to or actual fostering is perceived. That is to say that people of higher incomes that foster are more often seen as doing it for "the right reasons" whereas people who may survive on SSDI or perhaps be of lower income may be perceived as doing it for "money only".

Two years ago a person in my DH's social sphere lost custody of his four sons. They (the other members of the family) wanted to keep the boys in the family and one of the sisters ended up getting them. This sister is very low income and it was often said while she was in the process of kinship guardianship that she was just doing it for the money. People told her that to her face; DH's friends are just that brazen. No one took into consideration that those four boys were her nephews and that she probably genuinely wanted them and feared for their well-being if they entered the system.

Now DH and I are in process. Not kinship, just generalized foster/adopt. We aren't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but we make substantially more than most people in either of our circles. DH is in telecommunications sales and I am a nurse, so automatically people think we are going into foster care because I love kids and NO ONE has commented (to our faces at least) that our motives are anything other than what we say they are. It just seems our decision is more accepted as pure than someone who actually has pre-established ties to particular children. I think socio-economic status does have some role in how foster parents are received...as does personality and lifestyles before the fostering.

In our class of 34 we were the only professional couple there. When they did the brief interview and asked how much we made per year I told her around $95,000. She said wow as if in amazement. I guess she doesn't encounter incomes like that often, but it doesn't mean we're well off. LOL. Far from it. It just means our bills are higher

*Edited because DD was "helping" me type and we got a whole lot of gobbledy gook in there!

[want2adopt_IN]

Originally Posted by wannafostersoon

When they did the brief interview and asked how much we made per year I told her around $95,000. She said wow as if in amazement. I guess she doesn't encounter incomes like that often, but it doesn't mean we're well off. LOL. Far from it. It just means our bills are higher

I know what you mean. Two separate people called to verify my income and that I was indeed single.

It does help when folks realize that more income does generally mean more bills and that folks with MDs/PhDs/JDs usually have student loan payments equal to a home mortgage!

[Robbin]

Coincidentally enough, our doctor was a foster parent when we first started.

[unclederwood]

I guess my husband and I would be considered high income. My husband is an engineer and I have a Master's degree in Human Resources. I have infertility problems, so it was never about the money. Our attorney adopted her son from foster care, so I really think it depends on the person's reason for fostering. With that being said, I do not know too many other people that would even consider fostering.