[sarahraegraham]

My husband and I have been looking into adoption and we are coming the conclusion that the best route for us and what we are looking for in a child would be to foster to eventually adopt. (We would like a child 2-5 yrs, boy or girl, caucasian, hispanic, asian). We are now considering volunteering for foster respite care in order to get our feet wet. Neither of us has a whole lot of experience with kids, so even though the thought is great we're still very anxious about diving in head first.

I am going to be in contact with our local CYS about how to begin the process, but I have some ??'s I am hoping you all can help me with in the mean time!

What exactly does the respite care involve? Do we go to a community center with a bunch of kids and just watch them and play with them for a few hours a week?

For fostering, right now we both work full time and my hours would make it difficult for me to remain employed if we choose fostering (I work until 8pm at night). And since we are looking for a toddler pretty much I would need to be able to work around my husband's schedule so that one of us was always home. Basically, I would have to quit my job in order to foster. Fostering would change our lifestyle completely, and I am really nervous about how to make that decision!! I would prefer not to have to send the child to daycare. I know the process to getting approved will take several months, but I am trying to consider my options now in order to be prepared. Although we "live" on my husband's income alone, I feel nervous about trying to drop my hours or find a new job entirely. It seems really risky! Advice?

Will age be a factor in any of this? I am 25 and my husband is 43.

How else can we prepare ourselves for this process?

TIA!

[CaddoRose]

I can tell you about respite in Texas. The child(ren) come to our house for the weekend. We had two this past weekend from Friday 10 am until Monday at 7 pm. This gives the regular foster parents a complete rest for a few days. They came with clothes, diapers and baby formula. Basically they become yours for as long as needed. Sometimes the regular foster parents might have an emergency situation and it may require respite for a time other than the weekend, but usually only for a few days. It's good way to see if you like it and would give you some experience with working with the system.

Only you can decide if you would need to quit your job. It's a matter of figuring out what is important for your family. I would suggest that you attend a informational meeting conducted by the local Child Protective Service(called by different names in different states) and/or an agency near you. Other people in your state on this forum can give you better advice about how it works in your state. I don't see the ages being a problem either.