[butterfly8626]

After waiting for 7 months, we got the call from DHS saying that they will not approve us to foster care or adoption bc/ of my husbands record. His record, you ask? Yes, we were told that it was because of 3 speeding tickets in 3 years and a failure to appear which was a misunderstanding bc he got the dates mixed up and showed up to court 2 days late (oops). They said this shows that he is unreliable and a possible safety risk to the kids. They said to apply again in 3 years! I am so upset I can hardly function right now. I don't know what to do. Is there any way to fight this? I am seriously so upset right now I can't really think straight, so any advice would be welcome. The thought of waiting 3 years kills me!

[bulrusmama]

Could you do foster care through another agency?
bulrusmama

[Withay]

I agree with bulrusmana. Check with other agencies in your area. You may be pleasantly surprised. Good luck.

[butterfly8626]

There are no agencies in our area, just DHS.

[Scrapsathome]

Oh no! That's awful! Is there any sort of appeals process? Is there anyone higher up that you could talk to about reconsidering your application? Was it explained carefully about the failure to appear mixup in the eval that was done on your family? Were the speeding tickets huge, like going 80 in a 35 or are we talking about dinky infractions? I can imagine how frustrating that must be. Is there any way you could go through another nearby county?

Jess

[butterfly8626]

We actually did appeal the original decision, but the same people make the decision both times. It went to the supervisor. But she just kept saying "my job is to look out for the kids..." yada yada. In the appeals, we explained everything about the misunderstanding about court and the tickets. Each ticket was less than ten over (we're talking like 32 in a 25, who can go 25 mph in a huge vehicle going downhill?? while the cop is just sitting at the bottom waiting for you!). Now that I have stopped crying and gotten some sleep, this just seems like a crime to me. It's just wrong. This system is so messed up I can't even describe it. In my area, DHS puts ads in the newspaper for foster homes bc/ there is such a huge need. A foster family lives on my street and for a few days a while back, there were 9 foster children (non-related) in the home (with 4 bios). 13 kids total. They are constantly begging them to take more children than they can safely handle plus the kids sleep on the floor and here I am, 3 houses down, with 4 empty beds all made up and ready for some little one to sleep in! Now that is wrong! Sorry to rant some more, but thanks for listening to me.

[crystalp]

Wow. I'm so sorry. It seems that there have been a couple of people on the boards lately that have been denied for weird reasons. I really hope that you guys can appeal or something again and get it straightened out. We are just starting to get licensed, and I really hope the ticket DH got in January (going too fast for conditions w/accident, essentially he was on an icy road and went off the road and flipped the car) won't get us denied!

[meshsgrl]

WOW I cant believe they denied you because of speeding tickets!!! I have gotten 2 tickets in the last 6 months, atleast 5 in the last 3 years!!! I even had to put that on my application and it was NEVER brought up!!

[DianeS]

I'm sorry to hear about that. It does seem that there's been a rash of people refused for what seem to be small reasons, lately. wonder what's in the water?

You did say that you explained about the missed court date in your appeal - but did you explain about the tickets and the missed court date in your original homestudy??? Not volunteering information that might make you look bad is considered a HUGE thing around here. If they had to find out about it on their own because you didn't explain it (or didn't explain it fully) when you had your first opportunity leads them to think that there may be other things that the family didn't mention. It's something that can get a family excluded from consideration for years around here - even if the actual infraction was tiny, it's the not talking about it that's considered concerning.

Same thing with what the explanation consists of. If in the original homestudy the family explains breaking a law by saying they couldn't help it, they had to, there was no way around it, then the agency assumes that given that same scenario again, the family would do the same thing again. The explanation you posted on this board that nobody could avoid speeding down a hill when the limit was 25 would seriously concern an agency where I live. It implies that the family knows that hill is hard to drive on at the correct speed, yet they continue to drive that vehicle down that hill - multiple times. And therefore that they would do the same thing with foster children in the car. An explanation that the family is sorry, that they know the problem and its cause now, and that they avoid that hill all the time (or drive on it with a different vehicle) or whatever - something like that goes over much better than an explanation that leads the agency to think such behavior would be repeated. They want to know that it won't be repeated, ever, even if the situation gets set up the same that you'd make different decisions.

It's tough. Some agencies are sticklers for how things are explained, and extremely zealous for the safety of the children in their care, and for the appearance of safety. If your family can honesty say that you've learned your lesson and make different decisions now, then you really might want to contact a different agency and see what they say. You could start with a phone call about the tickets and failure to appear charge - then you'd know right away if that would be an issue.

[EZ2Luv]

How long ago were the tickets issued? That would have an afect on the decision too. If they were say 5 years ago I can see them cutting some slack, but if they were in the last year or so that might have been the reason.
I just don't understand it myself, I have read of people doing much worse and being able to adopt. I do agree that it is imortant to be upfront and disclose any brushes with the law from the start (homestudy) they are going to find out anyway. Not only that they like to see some type of remorse or signs that you know it was wrong and that your not going to let it ahppen again. For the most part while your past does hold alot of weight in these decisions, they are more concerned with possible future behaviors and want to place children in homes that are safe.
Anyone can have an isolated incident while driving, a few miles over the speed limit, a tad too heavy on the pedal, ect. That is probably why they suggested waiting 3 years and reapplying cause they want to see if it is not something that holds a pattern. Anyhow, I can certainly understand your frustration. Sometimes I feel like they should be as thourogh with the bparents as they are with foster parents especially when I see kids RU only to return months later.

EZ

[Melissa1978]

I have no advice, since i was just denied, because my base boards were dusty.( if you know anything about Arizona, EVERYTHING is dusty) My agency didnt even give me the chance to fix the problem, just denied me.

Seems like a crime to me too. There is such a need for foster parents, and they advertize if you have room in your heart, please apply.. we need a family like yours... Blah Blah Blah,but when it comes down to it, they want ppl that are rich, living in brand new homes, with twice weekly maid service, and not an average family....

I have decided that my avergae family is right for now,because i dont have the desire to be dropped again, for living in a house, builtin 1978, and I will always have dust somewhere.


I actaully am writing an editorial to the news paper and the TV station that is all about foster care. Just to explain to them WHY there is such a need. It is not that there are not willing and able families, it is the the agencies are expecting perfect ppl, in a hospital like clean home.....


Off rant...

I am very very very Sorry!!!

[CaddoRose]

I would contact the state office of DHS, and don't stop bugging them until the state director for DHS says "NO" to you. Squeeky wheel and all.

The local office has a district supervisor and they have a state supervisor, etc. Sometimes the people making those decisions at your level haven't been around long enough to understand that a few tickets are nothing compared to a child not having a place to go when the parentsd get busted for drugs,etc. Or that dusty base boards are the norm in America.

You need to think like a bulldog and go until the person at the top says you can stop now. Of course, I wouldn't. There are always state legislators who need an earful...