[Scrapsathome]

I'd say it depends on what you call a "toddler." We had a sibling group of a 1 and 2 year old and the first few days were really tough. Neither of them could speak much. The 2 year old could say things like, "No" and "Ma Milk", but it was difficult to understand. Every night they cried and needed to be held. If my DH weren't there I'm not sure how I would have handled it between the two of them (not to mention my own son who was about 14 months at the time).

The three year olds we've had have been much easier because we can communicate with them. My older kids help a lot with the younger ones and were especially great with the 2 year old. They can't really do much with a baby who barely walks. They weren't big enough to carry the little ones, but they can help the slightly older ones get buckled and unbuckled in the car.

If it's DHS that your going through I'd say ignore their ideas of how many you can supposedly handle. As long as you have the beds they'll place more kids with you. They originally thought we were nuts, too, but we currently have 7 kids in our house and room for one more. Our homestudy recommended no more than two, or three at most (making 6 kids max in our house).

Really, you don't know what you can do until you try it. I don't really want any more long term infant placements, although I'm open to a couple days of respite here and there. My son needs to get older first.

Jess

[ALfostermom]

i have had several different age "toddlers" in my home and every child is different. Some are your happy go lucky and some just aren't. A 10 month old that i got one time had severe reactive attachment disorder. the visits didn't bother him. but he couldn't handle touch, so the simplest things:bathing,tickling, cuddling, comforting he didn't like and it only upset him more. It took a lot of work but when he went to a relative 18 months later he was a true joy that i still miss. Then i had a 2 yr old that was nothing but smiles all the time. So with toddlers it's hit or miss.......

[luvmykids4]

Thank you both for the input re: toddlers. I have 'asked' about this issue before, but everyone seems to take the approach of not taking what I don't feel comfortable with. I have really been looking for actual input on how toddlers do in foster care. I feel that you guys have given me a better sense or picture of how they can respond. As I said before, I have four kids already, but this is all very new. It really does help to hear from your personal experience. I know that ultimately we have to take what we feel right with, and trust from there. This just makes it a little bit easier!

Also, Jess, you mentioned that you have 7 kids at home now. How can you do that? I thought that with fostering you could only have six kids under 18. I am in Pa. and that is there 'rule'. Are there exceptions, or does it vary by state? Just wondering.

God bless you both! Judi

[momto3]

We are one of those families that WANT to adopt an AA sibling group, any size, age 7 and under, especially boys! We live in a very small county with no infants/younger kids; not many foster situations in general. We've been trying for a year and a half to adopt siblings! Please send me your workers info!!

[Scrapsathome]

Also, Jess, you mentioned that you have 7 kids at home now. How can you do that? I thought that with fostering you could only have six kids under 18. I am in Pa. and that is there 'rule'. Are there exceptions, or does it vary by state? Just wondering.

Here in our county in CO we can have up to 8 kids under 18 in our home depending, of course, on space and number of beds. We have a 5 bedroom house with 2 beds in every room except our own.

Jess

[luvmykids4]

That's interesting to know! I thought the 6 per household was a countrywide standard. I guess if I move, I can expand the family! Also Jess, I briefly checked your blog, and it was neat to see that you homeschool. It seems to me that alot of homeschooling moms are also open to foster and adoption. I guess that shows just how much we love being with our kids.

Judi