[onhazier]

As of Friday, we've completed all our classes and home study appointments!! All our references and background checks are in! Our guest room has been converted to a second child's room. I'm surprised and thrilled that is going so quickly.

Now, the wait begins. We have not yet received our license. However, our worker indicated that it is a formality at this point and should be anticipated relatively soon. We have her contact information and she's committed to keeping us up to date.

We're going to foster/adopt a child who is 0-5. My employer has agreed to allow me to work from home for several weeks if we get a call on a new born. I am working for the right company at the right time and am so very thankful for their support of our journey.

I just wanted to share my excitement before the roller coaster begins. We totally recognize that we will most likely have several placements before we have an opportunity to adopt. We accept this and have faith that we'll complete our family in time.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by onhazier

Now, the wait begins. .

Congrats. Waiting for your first call is the hardest. And the call always manages to come when you least expect it!

[luvmykids4]

I am pretty new to "posting" on the forums, and I am definitely new to foster care. My husband and I have 4 biological children, and are in the process of fostering. We started a few months ago, but my fingerprints got messed up, and I had to resubmit them. I should be hearing any day about approval. We have requested 1 or 2 children ages 0-2. We are hoping to be able to adopt, but I also feel that the right matches will be made! Do most people feel flooded with questions prior to 'getting the call'. The longer we wait to be approved, the more things I think of and worry about. I know there are alot of unknowns re: the children's background, health, potential Fas, etc. How do others handle the unknowns, and how much is appropriate to ask when you get a placement call? I just wanted to join the conversation, and hear what others have to say. Thanks.

[GAMOM75]

Congrats! I saw your timeline and looks like we are in the same boat. We just finished our last homevisit last week. Our case worker said it can be anywhere from 2-4 weeks to get the actual approval. The guest bedroom is ready. We are looking to adopt or foster adopt a boy between 3-8.

I am excited, but scared....

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

As a new, but not so NEW, foster parent I can give you a to do list. These are all things you can do to prepare while you play the waiting game. That way when the call comes, you will feel on top of your game and not so overwhelmed. If you have any ideas not on here, please pass them along to me and others!! We all learn from each other.

Also, luvmykids4, there are no really inappropriate questions to ask. Ask anything you feel you need to know before accepting a placement. You may not always get answers but it will help you make the right decision for your family.

Don't feel like this is what everyone does. You will see as you go along that you find your own system. I am just going to tell you what works for me. I know each training class is different based on the trainer and I am sure you learned things that I did not, so please feel free to PM with any ideas you have that I could use.

Not all these suggestions will work for you because of the age of kids you work with or the type you receive but it is good groundwork.

Here it goes:

1. Get a hanging file tub (rubbermaid) and make lots of blank copies of all the forms you have to have on hand such as medical exam forms, fire drill documentation forms, clothing inventory, medicine dispensing, initial dental exam form, etc. If you don't have a copier--you will need one. If you can find a copy/fax machine for cheap even better. And let me know where to find it too! HeeHee. My copier is also my printer and I am wearing it out fast.

2. Get some 3 ring binders and place tab sheets in for each of the types of forms I mentioned above...so when you have one filled out you can make yourself a copy and place into the child's binder and send the original into the appropriate state worker. We buy the type with a plastic outer sleeve and I place an info sheet in the front of it with a place for the child’s name, case number, cw name and contact info, dcfs healthcare worker name and contact info, hotline number, etc. for quick reference. I often just grab the binder on the way to a dr. appt or meeting because it will have all I need in it.

3. Buy a journal for each child so that at the end of the day you can jot down the date and any important happenings of the day to keep track of what happened when AND to cover yourself. This is good for meetings with therapists and court dates. It would also make a great little diary of your little one’s first days with you if you end up adopting.

4. Buy some scrapbooks and film. I love the 12x12 kind. I buy some refill pages with dividers and memo slips for pics and other pages big enough for 8.5x11 paper drawings or schoolwork etc. to slide down into. I also like the kind with a small square on the front for a small pic so I can easily tell who’s scrapbook it is. I bought some great ones on sale at Kohls for 5.99 (blue and pink) but EBay is good cheap refill pages.

5. We also get a small rubbermaid for each child because we have had children come with clothes from mom that were 3sizes too small or too large or were so filthy that laundering them would not have helped. You can NOT throw these out (I wish) until you know your children are not returning home. In our state this is a rule, but really these children have (and typically come) with so little to call their own that we make a point of telling them that they don't fit but we are putting their "things" into a special box for them. These may also be the very last items they receive from their biological parents. So we label the rubbermaid with the child's name and place any items like this in there. When/If they leave, we place all personal items like toothbrushes etc in there along with any personal toys of theirs and send it home with them or to their next placement (if you decide that child is not the right fit for your family).

6. We posted our "house rules" on the fridge. There are only a few such askeep hands and feet to self, tell the truth, knock before entering a room, talk nicely, respect your property and others......all things TO DO...instead of what not to do. We read these to even the youngest the very first night and every day for awhile and discuss why they are important and why we have them. When in trouble, we refer back to them to let them know which rule was broken and why they are getting a time out.

7. After the child has been here a couple of weeks, we discuss allowance and chores. Even the younger ones can understand that they can earn a dollar for the dollar store if they brush the cat, dust their room with a feather duster, pick up their toys before bed, take a bath without whining, etc. After a couple of weeks, you will know what "chores" you would like to see them do for the reward of payment. For instance, we had one that never hit the toilet when he peed so his chore became cleaning to toilet with lysol wipes three times a week. He soon learned to aim better. We do family rewards like movies, bowling, or Chuck E Cheese. These are privileges and can be taken away if the child has been especially ugly at home OR school.

Some of this will not matter if all you take in are infants. In this case, don't post house rules....post a house schedule and get everyone on board. They will have no excuse if it is posted on the fridge.

8. If you are CC and plan on taking any race and are unaware of how to care for AA hair, then I would visit a salon that specializes in that and learn what you can do and let the person know you may be bringing some business in for her. There are many threads on the forum regarding this as well.

9. We also purchased a jumpdrive (flashdrive) to have on hand to save ONLY emails and pics involving foster children. This is handy if they come into your home and the first night as you are getting ready to bathe them you notice bruises etc. You can notify the caseworker immediately and take pics and save to a jumpdrive which can be transfered to anyone's computer. This protects you. Plus, these are not pics you typically want to email or be sending into cyberspace. A jumpdrive can also be taken and used to print pictures off of in the event the CW thinks a hardcopy is necessary.

10. And lastly~
Will you be a SAHM or will the children be going to daycare? If kids need daycare, that can open a whole new can of worms that you need to start researching. I have found that DCFS is not good at helping find one (and I only work one morning per week right now as the Storytime Director at the local library). A good daycare that has openings available on short notice that also takes DCFS vouchers can be hard to find. You would want to meet with the director, introduce yourself and your situation, and see what you must do to enroll a child. Fill out any paperwork in advance and have it partially filled out and at home ready to take if an opening is available and you need one, etc.

Like I said, these work for us and you will find your own way and if you think of something that can benefit others PLEASE send it our way.

Kim

[Withay]

First, welcome to all you newbies to the forums and to fostering. Hang on for the wildest ride of your lives. It is so rewarding.

Onhazier

My employer has agreed to allow me to work from home for several weeks if we get a call on a new born. I am working for the right company at the right time and am so very thankful for their support of our journey.

You are right that you are working for the "right company and the right time". I, too worked for a wonderful company when I started my journey. I now work part-time from home as I care for some of the most medically fragile wee ones.

luvmykids4

Do most people feel flooded with questions prior to 'getting the call'. The longer we wait to be approved, the more things I think of and worry about. I know there are alot of unknowns re: the children's background, health, potential Fas, etc. How do others handle the unknowns, and how much is appropriate to ask when you get a placement call?

Ask alll your questions. The more information you have the more informed decision regarding whether, or not to take a particular placement you will be. I handle the unknowns by expecting each child to have issues. For each issue the child does not have, I am thankful. For each issue they do have, I find the best way to help them through them. This can be done through classes, or by asking to have the public health home nurse come to my home to help me get all the services the child needs set up.

GAMOM75

I am excited, but scared....

Actually, I'm glad to see that you are 'scared'. That shows that you are going into this with your eyes wide open. I would be concerned if you weren't a bit scared at the beginning.

Kat-L

I know you are not new, but you are so right when you say...

And the call always manages to come when you least expect it!

I know my calls always seem to come when I least expect them. Sometimes in the middle of the night, or shower, or .....

[luvmykids4]

I wanted to thank everyone for their responses to those of us who are new to the adventure of foster care and adoption. I really appreciate all the info given, and it is always helpful to hear what works for people. I didn't even think about getting paperwork items ready ahead of time. That is a great idea. It is also so nice to chat with other people on the details, as my husband is not as detail oriented as me!

Excuse my posts if they seem boring, I'm still getting the hang of how to do this. I'm anything but plain "black and white print" in person!

I also want to say to everyone that what you, and 'we' are doing is something so wonderful and special. I have always been touched by how important it is for people to have others who care. I'm sure you all have heard of the Chinese saying about the red thread connecting all those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break. I keep that on my fridge, and believe that we all come in contact with the people that we can touch, and bless! Never underestimate that!

Thanks

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by xxsurroundedbyxy

8. If you are CC and plan on taking any race and are unaware of how to care for AA hair, then I would visit a salon that specializes in that and learn what you can do and let the person know you may be bringing some business in for her. There are many threads on the forum regarding this as well.

That is a REALLY great tip. Black hair can range from Shirley Temple ringlets (my foster daughter "Darlene" had hair like this) to VERY tightly curled hair (like my daughter Hanna). Combing and styling is VERY different for each child.
Salon prices vary widely, too. If you have an A/A foster daughter and her hair is in good condition, the price for braiding it into different styles can vary from $35.00 to $100 in the DC metro area. I found a beauty school student on Craigslist who does the girls hair and it's less than a salon. Also, if you see a little girl out and about and you like her hair, ask her who did it. I saw a little girl in a grocery store and her hair was beautiful. Her Mom swore by African Pride hair care products. Up until that point, I couldn't find anything for Hanna's hair that would work (it's VERY curly, gets fuzzies and tends to look dull rather than shiny even though it's not dry). The African Pride was the best thing I ever used. Had I not asked questions, I wouldn't have learned about this product.

Also, if you live in a multi-cultural neighborhood, Moms in the neighborhood will also sometimes do braiding for much less than a salon would charge.

Don't let anyone PERM or RELAX the child's hair, though, to make it more "manageable". Also, don't let anyone cut it without getting permission from the child's bio family & caseworker. It could get you into trouble.

[onhazier]

Thank you for all the awesome tips!

I'll put together the file folders and documentation supplies this weekend. My company never throws out three-ring binders. We're encouraged to take and recycle them for anything we need. We can use them for business or personal needs. So, I'll hit the supply closet on my way out tonight.

I am not a SAHM. However, if we get a newborn, I can work from home until the baby is old enough to go into daycare. I've already spoken with my son's daycare and have everything lined up there. They've had a foster child before and are familiar with how things will need to be done. They are state licensed so that is also not a worry.

Thank you also for the tips on learning about AA hair. We are CC and are open to any child DCFS believes is a good match for us. There is another mom at daycare who is AA and her daughter's hair is beautiful! I've commented to both mother and daughter before about it. She was very open and responsive so I believe I can ask her who she takes her daughter to. Also, one of our PRIDE classmates is AA. She and I hit it off. I'd call on her too for insight. (She and her husband were there to get custody of a family member.)

Thank you also for the reminder about cutting the child's hair only with permission. That was an eye-opener in our class. We'd just never considered that but quickly saw the wisdom.

Actually, I'm close to the DC Metro area and live in a pretty diverse area. I'm not in the least hesitant to politely inquire from someone where I can find X or Y.