[Ashbre]

I started the foster certification program in August 2005, finished classes in Oct 2005, had homestudies completed in Feb 2006, denied in April b/c I hadn't turned in paperwork showing I had attended counseling in my childhood for the abuses I endured myself (mind you I was 37 when I started this process).

told them I had never been asked to provide the paperwork and in fact had been told just the opposite that it wouldn't be needed due to the length of time since it happened. Got in touch with my worker from my childhood (yes, I still remembered her) who pointed me in the right direction. Got a letter from the Illinois cabinet that said I did indeed attend counseling and provided that to teh Kentucky cabinet.

then I was told a month or so later that now my daughters and then husband had to go thru psych evals which we promptly did

Was then told that due to my then husband taking a low-dose antidepressant (effexxor) and b/c he was a trucker, we couldn't take care of kids. This was said by a single woman who takes Prozac (by her own admission) and who had foster/adopted a medically fragile child.

When I still persisted, was told that I need to go thru counseling again for all my childhood issues since the letter I had provided didn't go into detail as to what was covered in my sessions in the late 70's or early 80's. I was told that I needed to reopen all those old woulds, discuss them and then try to close them back up again. Was also told that even if I did a year in therapy, if the supervisor telling me all this still wasn't satisfied, she would still deny me again.

So I met with a counselor who asked me about my childhood and agreed with me that opening all those old wounds was a very dumb idea and he couldn't believe she had said to do so. we met two times before he wrote me a letter stating that I didn't have any unresolved issues from my childhood and that he could see no reason why I wouldn't be as good a parent to the 6-sibling group we were wanting to foster/adopt as I had been with my own daughters. We'd known this sibling group since Feb 2000 and I met with the counselor in Feb 2007.

So, when the Cabinet still refused to consider us, I hired an attorney and he was able to get me before the Judge who was handling the children's dependency case. The Cabinet's attorney of course tried to have us dismissed from the hearing stating that we had no legal standing since we weren't relatives nor had the children ever been placed with us (which was entirely true). The Cabinet attorney also stated that they did not want to set a precedent where other people could come in and challenge them based on my part in the case. lol

the judge told the cabinet that she was more interested in whether there was a bond between the children and I and wanted a report from their therapist before she ruled as to whether I would stay in teh case or not.

Therapist of course came back a few months later and confirmed that the oldest two did have a connection with me, with the connection being the strongest between teh oldest and I. Of course, by this time, we hadn't seen the younger four for 2 years so the bond there was pretty weak by this time.

When we went back to court again, and after the judge was told of this bond, the cabinet tried saying all this bull about me (most of which I have no idea where they came up with it from, but included that we had dragged our feet repeatedly since first starting the process and even once waited an entire year to comply with one of their requests - they obviously didn't know I had saved all my emails between my worker and I showing that I had responded promptly with every request made of me - claimed I had enough problems already with my own out of control children (this one was too funny since neither of my teen daughters are out of control in the least), etc.

When the Cabinet attorney started learning about all the proof I had that their claims were bogus (all of them), they called me and asked me to go thru the program again claiming that since I was divorcing my husband, they didn't think they would have any trouble approving me this time. I went to the intro class the very next night (Nov 5th) and fast-tracked my certification to where I got the call today that I am finally approved and the oldest sibling will be moving into my household around the 1st maybe - yeah!!!!!

The poor girl has been in a group home since the spring or summer of last year and has been in a total of 9 foster homes since April of 2005. She can't believe that she's finally going to be moved to my home - something she's wanted since she first went into care.

My attorney definitely was a miracle worker in getting us before the Judge at all and without his help, I know this wouldn't have happened finally.

so, I just wanted to tell those trying having trouble to keep fighting, these kids are too important to just give up on.

Donna
Louisville, KY

Mom to two girls (ages almost 18 and almost 190
Host mom to two foreign exchange students (18 yr old guy from Norway and a 16 yr old girl from Germany who leave in June).
former foster child myself and finally realizing my dream of being a foster parent myself

[blondeboss]

Wow, what a long journey you have gone through. Thankgoodness it is over and you didn't give up. A lot of people wouldn't have fought like that. I am very proud of you!!!!!

[jbee]

hi
did you post on the ivillage board? your story sounds familiar...
either way i am so happy for you! you'd think they would have been falling all over for someone to love a sibling group! thank goodness everything is working out!

[Withay]

Thank you for sharing to encourage those who are feeling down about the whole process.

Bless you.