[shelleyterrell]

We should be licensed by eom, and I was just wondering what everyone is expecting their foster children to be/act like? Our licensing worker seems to believe new fp's expect the children to be like angels, and then when they come to their home they get a wake up call and don't want to foster anymore.
Is that what most of us are expecting? We had a licensed daycare where we are from, and believe me, we are expecting our foster children to be unhappy, unruly, not understand/listen to our rules, a lot of sleepless nights, and so on. We are expecting children to come to us not understanding why they are with us and why they had to be taken from their mommy. They will be mad, sad, angry etc.
Isn't this what we are all expecting? Are there any of this who thinks its going to be a piece of cake?
Oh, we will be fostering sibling groups ages 5 and under up to five children at a time.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by shelleyterrell

Our licensing worker seems to believe new fp's expect the children to be like angels, and then when they come to their home they get a wake up call and don't want to foster anymore..

Umm..If the CW does her job in educating prospective foster parents during classes (which are usually mandatory), then I can't see how people could given a license to foster and still believe that the children will arrive problem-free and be angelic.

[shelleyterrell]

Our pre-service trainer was very adament that the children would not want to be at our home - but our licensing worker seems like she is afraid we will back out after we get placements - we have 5 bio children of our own, our oldest has an autoimmune disorder - and we are very aware as to the special needs of foster children, she even knows we are willing to take special needs children and eventually want to be a theraputic foster home - so i quess i don't understand why someone would back out after a placement - but am wondering what other are expecting.

[ECDGA]

As a mom of five bios as well, you may want to start slowly and even have your first placement younger than your youngest. I have been an in home day care provider for 15 years so my children are use to sharing me with others. I am sure yours are, too. You will find what works for your family and what does not. Good luck!

[la vida loca]

I can tell you I wasn't expecting 30+ appointments every month (while working full time, and a single parent). I wasn't expecting to juggle both family court and the proceedings in criminal court. I wasn't expecting to have my home placed on hold because the agency feels my foster daughter is too dangerous to have other children living in the home. I wasn't expecting to have a child too traumatized to go to public places without having a dissociative episode and becoming assaultive to those around her. I wasn't expecting to wait 15 months (and counting) before getting anti-anxiety medication approved for her.

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't this.

[Tuppy]

In our case our first placement was misrepresented all the way around. We weren't looking through rose colored glasses, but the agency kept trying to "sell us some."

We were told outright that our FC were a concurrent placement (They are NOT-the Goal is RU) when we made it clear that we only wanted to foster children who were concurrent or already available to adopt.

And we were told that these kids were absolutely wonderful, they had no problems at all. Definitely not true. See my previous posts about this.

We have parented a total of 12 children (his, mine and ours) before fostering and were expecting all sorts of behavioral and emotional issues. The powers-that-be tried to make these little ones sound angelic and like we were overreacting.

We have had to fight hard for our FC to receive the therapy and services they deserve.

So sometimes it works the other way around, I guess.

Deb

[Mama Julie]

Hi,
It sounds like your expectations are on target. It's always better to prepare for children with difficulties so you won't be caught off guard. Every child is different & every case is different, so your adventure will be unique in some ways. Good luck
Julie

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Hey ShellyT~
Did you ever get your license? If so, have you had a placement and how's it going?

Kim

[NotAMomYet]

We expect them to be unruly, obnoxious, messy, lawless, spiteful, angry, sad, upset, frustrated, stubborn ... you get the point.

We are going into this (foster adopt) expecting the worst - but hoping for the best! We've been hosting various nieces and nephews for days at a time all summer, and just hope that they are better behaved than the two we just returned to my sisters! Talk about little divas!! Now, if we could just be matched with kids that are just like the two we have this week, we'd be in heaven!