[lapoema]

I am absolutely dying for a foster baby. I don't know what it is but it's pulling at me like you wouldn't believe. It is the wrong time, though. My bio baby is only 16 months old. Our house is tiny.... and we would catch so much crap from our families if we were to take a baby now.

Being foster parents is something DH and I want do in the future, but when is the future? What if the time is never right?

DH wants to try for a bio, but I really just want to foster. WHY? It doesn't really make sense. What I feel is so urgent, I have to wonder if it's a voice I should listen to. Or is it hormones? Why fostering?

What would you do? (The official plan is to build our family first, and foster 10-15 years down the road...)

Anyway, I am new to posting here, but I've been lurking for a while now. Hi

With ants in my pants....
Lara

[Withay]

First - welcome Lara.

Being foster parents is something DH and I want do in the future, but when is the future? What if the time is never right?

if we waited for the right time for everything in life we would never do anything. How did you know the time was right to have your 16 month old? When you married, did you ever say 'we'll have a child "sometime in the future"?' The future is now.

If you are waiting until yu have all your bills paid, you'll be waiting for a very long time (most people would anyway).

What I feel is so urgent, I have to wonder if it's a voice I should listen to. Or is it hormones? Why fostering?

I know that, for me, fostering is something that I was called by God to do. As soon as I got my guest room set up in my new home I felt the tap on my shoulder and the voice telling me that I was not being obedient. I gave the furniture away the next day, bought a crib and called DHS to begin classes. I would listen to your voice and talk with DH about it.

What would you do? (The official plan is to build our family first, and foster 10-15 years down the road...)

Only you and your DH know what is right for your family. You both need to be on board for fostering to work. I would recommend a long heart to heart talk.

Good luck in whatever you and DH decide.

Again, welcome to the forums.

[notjustanykatie]

I agree Withay!! I too, was called to foster(to Adopt) by God. Honestly, many of the parents on here could never afford to have 7-8 Bios...but the sudsidies really make having Akids financialy "easier". I would never go on the journey for financial reasons but the subsidies and free college ( in TX) make it possible for me to spoil mutiple children ROTTEN!!!

[blessed06]

I feel the same exact way about fostering!! I still get butterflies on my stomach every time I get a placement call for a baby!! Something in me just feels so right!! However, my husband is in complete support and is right on board with me. We started fostering when our youngest bio child turned 8!!! We have a total of 4 bio children and 1 adoptive child that started out as foster, and currently we have a 3 month old straight foster baby!! My advice would be to be obedient to God's calling but make sure you pray for His timing also!!! God's timing is always perfect, it does not always match up with what we think the perfect timing is!!! Hang in there!!

[tylind23]

I first felt the calling to be a foster parent over 5 years ago. However, I kept telling myself that the time wasn't right. I finally realized two things. 1) The time would never be right. There would always be some reason why I should put it off just a little longer. 2) If I truly believed I was called by God to do this, how could I not trust that He would make sure everything worked out to His glory. What would it say about my faith if I believed He was calling me to do this and I didn't listen. So, I finally jumped in. I'm getting my license today and my worker wants to talk to me about 3 possible placements she has for me. I'm so excited and can't wait to see what God has in store. Good luck with your decision.

[Kat-L]

Like Withay, I just got this sudden urge to foster. I'm glad I listened BOTH times I got the call. If I hadn't paid attention to that voice/need, I wouldn't have the children I have now.

BTW: I also have a tiny house-and 4 kids ages four and under (with three in diapers). Is it hard? Sometimes. Is it worth is? ABSOLUTELY!!!!

[Scrapsathome]

DH and I knew that we wanted to foster from before we got married. But we also knew we were too young, needed time for our family to grow and our kids to get a little older. His parents also said that if they could do it all over again, they would have waited to foster until their bio kids were a little older. If you and DH are still wanting a bio kid soon, I'd wait a little while. It would be very hard to have an infant FC in your home and then find out you are pregnant. It's so hard to deal with getting no sleep and constant baby care when you are vomiting and nauseous with no energy at all.

We had several times over the years where our hearts were just aching to start fostering and adopting, but each time we knew, when we were honest with ourselves, it wasn't the right moment yet. We even prayed repeatedly telling God that we knew that foster/adoption was His plan for our lives, but WHEN was it going to finally be time?!

This year it finally was! Our girls are 6 and 7 and our son is 16 months old, but we started the paperwork and classes back in February. We knew that God was saying YES to the timing because he just kept providing one thing after another: a big house for a steal of a price, finances, a bigger vehicle for hardly any money, a big old kitchen table, people who wanted to help us fix up the new house for an insanely low price just because they were inspired by our desire to help kids.

I'd say wait, pray, ask people you respect for advice, and look for confirmation from God, others, and circumstances to show you whether it's the right time. It's hard when you want to grab those kids you see on the internet and t.v. and hug them and help them. In the meantime you can pray that God will provide the perfect family for them.

Good luck making your decision,
Jess

[lapoema]

Thank you so much for your inspiring replies, all! I do think it's not the right time, but as DH says, God has put this feeling in me to lead me toward that direction. All the decisions we make will lead us there eventually. And I know I will not be waiting 10 years! LOL

Jess, your post agve me chills. Congratulations! I have been praying about a house I found. It is an old home built in 1908 with 7 bedrooms, and I can just see us raising a bunch of kids there. It's totally affordable and DH got a new job with a raise, but it seems completely unrealistic too... LOL. Well I know that God will provide what we need when we need it, as you said.

In the meatime I will be around here, lurking.

Lara

[cabbagepatchkid]

Well, after reading through this thread I can see that God has been whispering in lots of women's ears...LOL Isn't He wonderful?!?

He began whispering to me years ago when I read a book about George Mueller who began taking in orphans, relying on God to provide for all of their needs. If God is calling you, then when the time is right, things will all fall into place. He finally began tapping me on the shoulder about 6 yrs ago. All of my children were grown and the house was empty. Now I am the adoptive mother of my first 2 placements (they are now 5 and 6 yrs old), foster mom to 2 more and who knows what is ahead for me.

As Withay said in her post above, "if we waited for the right time for everything in life we would never do anything" ......this is one of my favorite verses in the Bible that I remind myself of from time to time: Eccl. 11:4 If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done" (The Living Bible version)

[JeannineW]

Count me in among those whispered to. I felt strongly that we should adopt a sibling group just before I found out I was pregnant with my last baby. I remember leaning over to my dh in church and asking him if he'd think I was crazy if I still wanted to adopt if I was pregnant (I hadn't tested, yet). While I was pregnant (with child # 6), I didn't think too much about it but about two weeks after the baby was born I became totally preoccupied with adopting again. Tell me who with a newborn and three other small children wants to start the adoption process for a sibling group?!? I'm sure these weren't my thoughts!

I tried to talk myself out of it. After all we have four young children at home? We were in the middle of building a house. Just moved 6 weeks ago. I tried to talk myself into adopting from Guatemala again. Been there done that. It would be much more comfortable to me but it became clear to me that adopting from foster care was what we were supposed to do. How about wait? New baby and young kids KWIM Nope. Now. It doesn't make sense but dh and I are in agreement that we need to prepare and see what God has in store.

Now I just need my mom to hear the whisperings I'm hearing! She called just today and suggested we wait until our little kids are older. Yes, that would make more sense but I really feel the time is now.

I am still in awe of our last adoption. It's a long story but after many, many delays, we were able to pick up our daughter in Guatemala on the exact day we needed to. For a variety of reasons I could not have forseen, picking her up sooner would really not have been good and later would not have been as good either. It was truely amazing watching it all come together.

PS OT - We had our own family miracle today. Our cat escaped the day after we moved. Exactly 6 weeks ago today. We had all but given up finding her. We got a new kitten for a companion to our other cat just over a week ago. Well, we are now the proud owners of three cats! We got a phone call this afternoon from someone who had found our poor lost cat. She lost some weight and needs a good grooming but somehow miraculously survived the wilds for six weeks with no front claws and never having been outside for any period of time. Amazing!

[lapoema]

I know I'll have to wait. Our families are not on board with the idea at all. I really don't want to cause a rift in the family so I'm sure we'll have to wait until my bio kid(s) are older, then they will have less influence on our decisions.

Until then I will have to find a way to get involved, though, because I feel like there is SOMETHING I should be doing to help the kids.

Thanks so much for your replies! I hope things will fall into place someday...

[Tuppy]

JeannineW,

Thank God your kitty made it safely home! I hope she stays inside after her harrowing ordeal!

God bless the good samaritan that found her, too.

Tup

[Withay]

lapoema -

Why not check into doing respite care. You would have your foster license and only have children as often as you want and only for very short periods of time.

Another idea is to contact your local DHS office and ask if there is anything you can do to help out. They would love it.

[YourAngel2004]

DH and I have a 24 month old and a 5 month old and are already thinking about fostering. We had talked about it before DS#2, but now I'm really hoping to get the process started. Our home is large enough, we have more than enough love and I love children. I don't want to be pregnant again, there are many children who need our love. I would love 3 kids within 3 years of each other.

[amylauren3030]

Hi!
Just remember that it can take awhile to finalize all the classes, etc. My husband and I are in the last stages of getting ready to open our home...everytime we turn around, they think of ONE more thing.
I'm like you...I can't wait!! Although in reality, I have waited a LONG time... but I think God is timing it just right.
I hope to have kids by the first of the year.
God bless you whenever you decide. There definitely are not enough homes out there.