[singn63]

UPDATE
On a hunch called the school guidance counsler to see if the child had eaten lunch at school...one of her allegations was we did not provide lunch for her or inform her of free lunch..also she was with me when I filled out the free lunch form so I knew she knew...anyway the guidance counsler is putting in writing for me that he explained free lunch to her and offered to take her through the lunch line on the first day of school and she refused stating she was not hungry.
How lucky did I get?
Hopefully the rest of the crazy allegations will go away with this proven lie.

[cabbagepatchkid]

I hope everything works out O.K. for you. It's really sad when you try to provide a good home for a child in need and then all it takes is one child to ruin it for you and take away your peace of mind about the kind of job you are doing. Keep us updated on how things go.

[singn63]

Thanks very much, I will

[aimeek]

singn63 - I feel the need to clarify what I said earlier. The child did not actually have dirty clothes, the birth parent said that he did. I also do not see dirty clothes as a form of neglect. My kids get dirty - they play outside and are toddlers. No I do not send them to visits in dirty clothes, but if you come by the house late in the afternoon odds are the kids will be dirty. I have too many clothes to wash already that I do not feel the need to change them everytime they get a speck of dirt on them.
But I do give them a bath before bed and they put on clean pj's. I think that kids need to be allowed to be kids - with guidance.

Aimee

bs D 11 years
fd L 3 years
fs T 1 year
fd D 4 months

[singn63]

Aimeek,
So sorry if you took what I wrote wrong about dirty clothes. I have no doubt that every foster parent on this board is a fine parent, the bad ones I don't believe would care enough to look up message boards and read advice or post concerns and hope to other parents. Here is the rule I was speaking of: Rule 5101:2-7-09 A foster childs clothing and footwear shall be clean, well-fitting, seasonal and appropiate to the childs age and sex. What I was meaning was that say on your way to a visit your baby throws up and bio mom decides to report that you have the kid in soiled cloths...We know that is not the norm for you, but that is enough IF a report is filed to have the child removed and investigation to insue. I in no way meant anything bad towards you, and my apologies if I typed it in a way that sounded as such. My point was how an innocent situation can be turned around in an instant on you and you are accused of neglect.
We have had alot of kids that do not like to bathe, our rule is you MUST shower or bathe at least every other day, our child turned that on us claiming we only allowed showers every other day so we were accused of neglect because we did not provide proper hygiene supplies. I am hoping since the child also claimed we did not provide lunch for her or tell her she had free lunches that the letter from the school stating she was litterally taken by the hand and told she recieved free lunches with an offer to be taken through the line, which she refused, will be enough to make the rest of her stupid allegations go away because we have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt she lied about that.
No matter how good you are to your foster children, one false word from the child or bio mom and you are under investigation until YOU PROVE they are telling a lie.

[jllambert]

you have to worry about!!! Our FS is not able to talk, but his mother is always accusing us of something. Last week she flipped out over his mosquito bites. Saying they are not bites and we are causing the sores our self and demanding pictures. Thank goodness for us CW knows they are bites and that mom loves to cause drama. CW called and apologized to us several time after this incident. But now I worry every time he gets a bump or scratch. I would hate for her mess up our good name!

[EmmaLeigh2882]

Just wanted to say a quick word on the issue of your agency/worker not standing by you as being a norm.

In our case, We had abuse allegations filed against us as well- the kids were being moved prior the the allegations to the great grand parents- one week after being there the great grand parents said we abused them. Our agency was all over them- the agency and workers stood beside us 100000%! The investigation was closed in like two weeks- if it had not been for the fact that the kiddos were going to the great grand parents anyway- they would have been returned...

The best thing we had going for us was that our monthly progress reports were over documented, I sent weekly sometimes daily update emails and TUNS of pictures via emails. We had play therapists, PT and ST in our house at least 6 times a week between them all... We had plenty of people to vouch for us as well.

I hate to say this, but I think another big positive we have going for us (WHICH SHOULD NEVER CHANGE THE OUTCOME!!) is that we are "financially healthy" as they put it, we live in a 4200 SF house, drive nice cars and my husband is a director ( in the legal department- which helped) for a large corporation here in Ft Worth.

I think investigators saw $$ and said no way we could have done anything wrong- that was the vibe I got from the investigators- though I think they did to some checking. I bet had we not been in the same financial position we are in- we wouldn't have made out so easy. JMHO on that one.

Good luck with the investigations- I know how stressful it can be, makes you rethink why... sometimes there is more to lose then to gain. Its a risk of life, right?

[singn63]

I am happy to hear you had your agency behind you. You could be right about the money thing too, we own our home but are not swimming in the money lol ...
Your documention I'm sure was also a huge plus, I did daily records for school, activities etc.. but she was only here a few days and kept to herself, there was nothing new to document...I didn't think.

[An_A_Frame_House]

There is a difference between an agecy investigation (where a lisencing rule is allegedly broken) and an investigation done by CPS (an abuse or neglect allegation). When the agency does an investigation, CPS is not required to investigate. When CPS investigates a complaint, the agency must investigate as well. As to whether or not the child or children are removed during the investigation, that can be an agency rule. Our agency does not remove children during an investigation UNLESS there are repeated rule violations or CPS has found reasonable evidence that abuse or neglect have occured in the foster home. (Granted that evidence may just be the child's word.) I think the rules on how allegations are handled can vary from agency to agency and even county to county.

[singn63]

Everything was just dropped yesterday, no apologies no nothing, just was told are license was off hold, the county done nothing.

[zoeymnstr]

I am glad you were cleared and wish you the best!

[mdn]

Originally Posted by singn63

Wow
Thanks all for your input, it helps .
I was given the rules they go by and Aimeek, dirty cloths is enough to get you for neglect, even though we all know the little ones are going to get dirty regardless.
Vern, I read the stats on reported abuse and neglect is very high in adoption and foster care, and yeah it is because the standards are way high for us. I also read though that a very high percentage of those allegations come back unsubstantiated. And you are so right to report and document EVERTHING, no matter how small you think it is.
MDN, I don't understand how your foster children were removed and there wasn't even enough to get an investigation. Did I read that right? It is getting far worse if that is the case. Good luck to all of you going through this.
You are guilty until proven innocent, and it sucks. I am not sure I will even continue with this after it is over. I'm positive I will be changing agencies after this if I keep fostering.
The word does need to get out on this injustice, I absolutely believe the children should come first, but there has to be a better way.

yes the children were removed without an investigation. Two still remain here and the agency still hasn't checked on them. I guess they are real worried huh? It has been almost two weeks but it feels like months. to make matters worse the old agency called the new one and said my hus. has anger issues. Thankfully we have many professionals who gave letters of recommendation to the new agency. Remember, there was no inves. not by the agency or state yet we are still guilty. Of what we still have not been told exactly what went wrong.

[mdn]

The age of fd was 14 and fs was 12. I don't know if that could be it maybe. They really won't tell me why. The state worker of the fd still with me assured me that there was not going to be an investigation and it came no where close to meet criteria but she did not know any details beyond that she got info from supervisor who also is the supervisor of the sw of fs. I was also assured they are not leaving. They are from the same county and I have been told by people working there that because that county has been in trouble for pushing adoptions through too fast that they will not do anything fishy and that is probably the reason the two got to stay. I told the agency I was moving to a new agency the day before this happened. They have since called that agency making false statements and being very vindictive.

[mdn]

When my fs and fd were removed we had just recertified and one of the requirements is to have no violations of rules and regulations or you do not get a semi annual bonus. We have never had a write up or plan of action against us in our agency. I have numerous cards of thanks a award about how great we are at using treatment methods etc. The agency broke several of their own regulations one being that a child will go to respite until agency or cps investigation is complete. There was not an investigation by either. The only people they talked to was the foster children. Not bio children which is stated in the agency handbook must be done. No school personel. The children's therapist still has not been contacted and does not know where to go to continue working with them and she sees them at least three hours per wk and is in our home every week and at school every wk. No one was consulted not even us. No questions no reason why. This is not what is best for the children but what the agency wants they will get any way they can.

[singn63]

Thank you so much Zoey and every one else.
It helped alot to get this out and let others know what could happen.
I wish you all the best