[Pixels]

I am currently in the "research and information" stages and will probably not be taking any true action at all quite yet!

Mainly because my husband and I have only been married for a year (together for 5), he just finished his Master's degree and we're still in a one bedroom apartment! Once he has a stable job and we can move into a larger place and are a bit more settled financially.

However, I would like to be armed with info as well as for both my husband and myself to be as mentally prepared for the process as possible, so I have started looking around. This seems to be one of the best communities around for the topic. I lurked for a few days and finally decided to register.

Both Fostering and Fostering to Adopt are things that I have wanted to do since I was a small child. My Aunt fostered a wonderful little boy when I was about eight or 9, and ever since then (I am 29 now) I have always had the pressing urge to do the same.

My husband is not yet as gung-ho about the idea as I am, because he isn't really familiar with Foster Care and is a bit intimidated. He also wants a child of his own, which is understandable but not likely at this point - however he knows how important this is to me and is standing by 100%. Even if I had 10 of my own children, I would still want to open my home!

Another concern of his is finances, though I do remind him that as we are currently do not have the responsibility of children, we have more leeway with our spare cash. He thinks that children cost a fortune. I watched my mom do amazing things with next to nothing and am confident that between the money we'd be not spending on stuff for frivolous stuff for ourselves, and whatever stipend CA offers, we would be more than fine. We have much, much more now than my mom ever had, though my husband grew up rather wealthy so his definition of broke is way off from mine.

I realize that children are by no means cheap, but I believe that I have the skills to stretch every dollar when it comes to doing the best for any child. We have savings, and still have enough money to have our toys (computers, games, etc) so I think we'll be fine, personally!

I would still like to get as much info and help as possible for him in the meantime, as I don't want him forced into anything to please me.

My dream is to provide temporary (either short or long term) foster care, and to be extremely open for adopting at least one child out of fostering. I would like to continue temp foster care after I adopt as well, as I believe it is important to do for the kids who need it.

I have a couple of issues - mainly space. I live in Orange County, CA and real estate here is ridiculous (In my opinion - I grew up in NY where I could buy a house for what I would use as a down payment here!)

We would most likely move into a two bedroom (hopefully three) apartment within the next year while we got settled in and then try to purchase our first home. We will most likely purchase a condo or townhouse. We like it cozy as long as we live near parks and walkable activities

I work full time from home, and attend school two nights a week while my husband is at home, so someone would always be around full time with the kids. My job is unique as I work for a children's game website, so while I do work 8 hour days, I am also not tied to my computer and could give full attention to kids when needed. It's a wonderful, unique and very family oriented position and I adore it.

I am currently in school for Art, which is a huge love and hobby of mine. I plan on keeping my current job for a long time, however if I ever leave I plan on using my degree and getting either certified to teach, or licensed for in home daycare so that I can stay home with my children and still contribute to finances.

Obviously with a one bedroom apartment, this is not something we can do now - however once we are in our larger apartment, are we still able to Foster with just that one extra bedroom? From what I can tell, as long as we only have one child, (or the children are same sex) that should be fine. I would only feel comfortable taking up to two children until we bought a larger, permanent home anyway.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself and tell you all about us

[vernellinnj]

Welcome to the Forums.

[ameliasmama1026]

Hi! Welcome to the boards. My husband and I are hoping to foster to adopt. We are starting the home study soon. I wish you luck.

Love and Hugs
Mandi

[Nicole Elaine]

Welcome to the forums. I wanted to tell you that my fiance was the same way about fostering at first. His words were "But they are someone else's kids". Ugh, men! But he has come around and after the training he really started to want to foster.

I would encourage you to at least contact your local Dept. of Family Services and see what the criteria are for becoming foster parents. It's a pretty long process where I live (Indiana). We've been going through training and background checks for over a year.

Yes, you would be able to foster with just one extra bedroom. There are requirements for how many children you may have. I'm not sure about California, but in Indiana you must have 50 square feet of personal bedroom space for each child. Only same sex children who are related may share a bedroom, as far as I know.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

-Nicole

[expecting]

Like NicoleElaine, my husband became really motivated to foster as the training went on. It was something that he wanted to do from the beginning, but his interest grew as the class went on. Have you spoken with anyone from your county regarding fostering? It might help to contact the recruiter for your county (I live in NC, but am assuming most areas have someone who does this?)...get some questions together and sit down with them. In my opinion, you need to have as much information as possible going into this...and you both have to be in it together. If my husband and I had not been in it 100% together, I cannot imagine how we would have had handled some situations with our foster child...it is so much easier to laugh at things than to resent your spouse for 'dragging' them into it. We fostered a 17.5 year old girl (I am 26, he is 28) and sometimes the only thing that got us through was leaning on each other. Just my two cents though!

[JocelynC]

Welcome! I'm still in the info gathering stage also. I'm single and just entered a Masters program, so I won't really be getting started on the process until at least 3 years from now.

[CaddoRose]

Welcome to the boards. I new here too and we are just starting out in the process of becoming foster/adoption parents. We have one daughter who is 10.

In Texas we have to chooose an agency to use and we are working on finding the one that fits us. Can't wait to get to classes and get all the things done that we need to do.

We have both wanted to foster/adopt for a long time, but are just now in a position to do it.

Celia