[excited2adoptsoon]

I am obsessing. I know it's not good. We have a potential match for a fosterchild. It's my hubby's coworker who currently has to give up his fosterdaughter since he's moving out of state for work. I have NOT met the girl yet but my hubby has seen pictures and we got lots of input about her from several people who know her. She's 3 years old. We want to adopt her so badly but her dad is in jail and still has rights to her. Her mom has lost all rights and cannot ever get her back. The dad says he is still interested in having her back when he's able. The little girls social worker and our social worker is in the works to see if we qualify..but most likely yes. Here's the thing. I am already completely attached to this girl I haven't even met. We have so much in common and she only lives a block away from us. We're suppose to spend time with her this week. I am incredibly nervous. I started buying things for her!!! I know that's nuts as we might not even get her. In my head, I'm planning her birthday, her visits with her current fosterdad, things like that. I even want to go meet her dad in jail to talk with him. I have so many thoughts it's driving me crazy! I have dreams about her. When I'm at work all I do is check my email every second I can to see if there's any updates. I'm constantly checking my phone and my heart stops when it rings. Am I just mentally crazy or do you all go through this? I think I took it too far by purchasing things for her.

[excited2adoptsoon]

What is the "points" and "donate" for up at the top right of my postings? I've been trying to figure that out forever! TIA!

[Mommy24]

It is part of our Premium Membership here at Adoption.com check it out here!
Bux, Gifts and Bank! Oh My!

[Boulderbabe]

I hate to say it, but try and come down just a tiny little bit. I know, it's so hard because this is such a thrilling moment! But just remember this is a FOSTER situation---her dad still has parental rights, and those may never be terminated. Try and keep your heart just a little bit in check, or you're in for a really bumpy ride that will wreak havoc on your emotions.

I hope things work out for all of you, and that she comes to your home!

[Just_Add_Water]

FC's, especially younger ones, are incredibly intuitive. All this excitement and build-up might not translate to her as a joyous occasion... but as a very stressful event. Take it one day at a time. And remember, you don't actually know her. To her, you're a stranger (or, at best, that "nice lady" she met one day). By rushing into this with arms open wide, hoping she'll jump in and give her new mommy a kiss... you will be doing her a disservice.

You have a wonderful opportunity to help her develop a bond with primary caregivers on an APPROPRIATE TIMELINE.

Sometimes it helps to think of how you would react. Imagine that another adult is so excited about meeting you (also an adult) for the first time, they've already ran out and bought you a bunch of clothes, presents and are starting a guest list for your next birthday bash..... you'd have a giant red flag waiving above their head. When you meet someone, you still need to develop a relationship which is slow and takes time. Give her a bit of breathing room and time to adjust. She'll be better off for it later in life.

That's my two cents.

Oh, and CONGRATS!!!! A new addition is a wonderful thing!

[tddjc]

I'm not one to talk as I am waiting and hoping about a couple of girls up at school and I see them everyday. I try to keep myself in check and tell myself, since the girls don't know about the possibility of me adopting them, how weird it would look to them to have me all crazy enthusiastic every time I see them. They would probably think of me as the creepy lady that's stalking them at school! So I limit myself to a warm "Hi, how are you doing?!" Or a, hopefully not too enthusiastic, wave.

Not to mention the heartbreak we set ourselves up for. So I just keep telling myself if it works out I could be a great mom to those girls, and if it doesn't then God has another plan for them. Some things are out of our control.

Good luck! And stop buying things!!

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by Just_Add_Water

Imagine that another adult is so excited about meeting you (also an adult) for the first time, they've already ran out and bought you a bunch of clothes, presents and are starting a guest list for your next birthday bash..... you'd have a giant red flag waiving above their head.

I see you've alread met the last person I met on Match.com.....(cue the theme from "The Twilight Zone").

You're right. That creeped me out when an adult was that enthusiastic about me. That image is going to pop into my head every time I get a new Fkid. Thanks for helping me remind myself to tone it down!

[wauntiek]

I am not trained in foster care and am a beginner to this site but I wouldn't visit the Dad in jail. He will not be happy to see you, no matter that you would make a good parent and he probably never will. If he thinks his child is being taken away he way rear up and never sign off. Just take one step at a time and everything will work out.