[Mother Goose]

Hello, I'm new here . My husband and I are in the process of doing all the paperwork and legwork for our state inspection. We of course have done the MAPP classes and the gal from the agency came out the other day to have a look. I'm having a hard time with some of the stipulations. Such as keeping your knives UP and locked. My detergent on the top shelf (I'm short, will need a foot stool) , things like that. It seems an imposition 'to me' . I understand why they require it. I also feel like as Foster parents, there are not much rights. I'm not sure how to phrase it. I understand that the kids are important, thats why we are doing this,we want to help , but WE are going out on a limb in some areas and the agency is , well, cheap and then all these stipulations. Theres more required then when I raised my own kids. sigh.... Does this make any sense? Anyone else feel this way?
I'm not off to a good start here... I don't know, I just feel like maybe the agency is taking avantage of Foster parents. Shouldn't it be that folks should be grateful for foster care, instead of the other way around? Am I the only one who feels this way?

What have some of you done, with your knives and such? How have you handled it? How do you re-do your home?
Also, my husband and I have not, maybe I should say, cannot agree on the ages. I want young children, between infant and 11. He wants the older kids, the teens.
How has this been handled in your house?

If I'm out of order, please set me straight, this being my first post and all. I'm excited about Foster care, but anxious as well .

[Yash]

You are not out of order. I felt exactly the same way when I was hearing these things in my foster parenting classes. It's crazy.

My SW told me that the state can't judge who will make good parents or not so they use these guidelines as a way to help them. WHAT?!?! Whatever, it still makes no sense but it is what it is.

The detergent and cleaning supplies I need are kept on a high shelf above the washer and dryer so when I need them I hop on the dryer, stand up, and get them. All the extras that I used to keep in the house are now stored outside in the locked garage. The other stuff like knives (I really don't get that one) and medicine, I keep locked in my dad's footlocker that somehow ended up in the house.

It's annoying as hell but it's what we have to do to get the kids in our homes. So we just have to suck it up and then vent on boards like this one.

Best of luck,

Yash

[dmca]

those restrictions are for your benefit as well as the benefit of the children. So many children have been purposefully abused in foster care, it's imperitive that foster parents are protected from being accused of that, unfairly.
When our children hurt themselves, we kiss them better and it's fine. When a foster child is hurt with a bruise or a cut, there is a formal "letter" of explanation and in some cases a report from a doctor. ( I'm speaking of foster care in my province, by the way).
Remember that some poor wee tykes are in care from neglect as well as abuse and could get hold of those cleaning products or knives without realizing the danger. They simply may not have been taught not to touch those thing.
I remember one wee boy that fell down two of my stairs ( that's all there were on the landing). He was due to go home that afternoon. I had to take him immediately to the doctor who could verify that he was not harmed by me.
Hope this helps.
dmca
Better safe than sorry.

[patti Daniels]

The state agency needs to make sure the home is safe for younger children. It would be terrible if a child was able to get into something that may hurt the child. Remember, the parents have to trust that their child is in a safe and secure environment. The only way to make sure the home is safe is to have rules to provide safe homes. My prayers are with you and your family. Good luck.

[kxl164]

We didn't have a problem with the stipulations because we had most of it done already for our own kids, and that which wasn't was easy to fix and not really that much of an inconvienence when compared to think how a child could be harmed by it.

I still remember the day we had a family party and someone left a knife on the counter, my then 2 year old picked it up and brought it to us saying that this needed to be put up and away... that is what we told her, knives are for grown-ups and we put them up and away so they don't hurt kids.... so even though we had things safe, they cannot always be safe. What would/could have happened if she ran with the knife, it still haunts me to this day.

Anyway, I think it is worth it to follow the stipulations just to be on the safe side.

One thing that does bother me though is how some birthfamilies who are getting their kids back are not given the same stipulations... their homes are not gone over like ours (at least not here) and they don't have to do things like have their knives up high, or meds locked up in order to get their kids home and that bothers me.

[shycar]

I wish we had the stipulations on keeping knives up high. We dont have that one here, but I think thats a good one. When I started to foster I decided to keep my knives up high. Sure I need a little step ladder to get them, but I knew that I and everyone in my house was safe. Foster children come with many many issues. Some may suffer of depression and can try to kill themselves. Especially if you are taking children 5 and up. I had a foster daughter that was 5 yrs old that would talk about dying. When she left my home to a adoptive home she took a knife and threaten to kill herself. She put the knife on her wrist and when the future adoptive mom would try to stop her she would swing it around. She now keeps them up and away from her. Also with older children you should keep meds locked and keep the key hidden from them. A child suffering from depression can try to take pills. So all these stipulations are for your and the childrens protection. You might think them silly, but when you start getting children you will be happy that you have dangerouse things out of reach.

kxl164-I agree with you. B-family should also have stipulations. To be honest I think the stipulations is common sense when you have children. Its funny I dont have children when I started to foster, but when we started to get things ready for children I moved the knives up high and the cleaning supplies up high and I have them locked, I locked away meds, and baby proof my house. After I did that I got a paper with stipulation and was suprised I have done most and some extra.

[Mother Goose]

Well, thank you all for you kind responses. I appreciate it and I do feel better.
Right now, its just alittle overwelming. I'm excited and apprehensive at the same time.

[Mother Goose]

Has anyone tried locking just one of your kitchen drawers ( for the knives and meds) ? I thought about that. It's just finding the right fitting locks I would think.

[Nicole Elaine]

I am wondering the same thing, mother goose. It would be a lot easier if I could just lock the drawer. I have limited cupboard space and I worry that even having knives up high would do little to keep them from children.

[Yash]

Mother Goose,

I'm sure you could just lock your drawer. The foster father who taught my CPR class bought a small tool box and put his medicine and knives in their and locked the box inside a larger drawer in the kitchen.

I thought that was a nice idea.

Yash

[Mother Goose]

Originally Posted by Yash

Mother Goose,

I'm sure you could just lock your drawer. The foster father who taught my CPR class bought a small tool box and put his medicine and knives in their and locked the box inside a larger drawer in the kitchen.

I thought that was a nice idea.

Yash

Yes, I will probably just do that.

[Mother Goose]

We have been told as well that we have to either fence in our pond or fence in a portion of our yard as our pond is less then 150 yards from the house. And my front yard fish pond has to be 12 inches deep or less . The gal told me to put rocks in it . I beleive its probably about 24 inches deep.

[EmmaLeigh2882]

I think if it were up to me ( and since we weren't requested to do weird stuff) i would just use common sense- ask the agency if it would be ok that you keep your knives in a locked cabinet ( or drawer) with a child safe lock on it- same for your laundry detergent. TO be honest with you- if it is going to be too much of an inconvenience to do things there way- most people revert back to their easier way of doing it anyway. Honestly, who has time to get a step stool out of the locked closet ( cant let the kids in there or they could fall)on the other side of the house bring it to the laundry room to get the 5 gallon jug ( because with the 5 kiddos you have running around the house - you buy EVERYTHING in bulk) of laundry detergent down ( careful you don't drop it!) - EACH time you do a load of laundry... now instead- get a child lock for the cabinet- keep it in reach- leave the stool in the locked closet and go play with the kiddos....

Certainly CPS would see the logic in this (naaaaa not CPS) and allow you to keep your home safe- and productive!

[Yash]

Mother Goose,

That sounds about right. My agency has the same stipulation.

I had two SWs check my water tempature. The first one said it wasn't hot enough. The second one said it was too hot. What are you gonna do?

When you have a baby in your arms, this will all be less aggreviating.

Yash

[hotspice58]

I had to get smoke detectors on every floor and after the 2nd year of fostering, I had to get window guards on the 2nd floor windows. That was a pain because my mom had new windows and conventinal locks wouldn't work. I go to a company in CA and order them. As for the meds: never locked them up. I got my 11 yo in February. In July, we were planning to go to GA to visit his siblings. The Sunday before we left, his brother's meds were missing. They weren't ingested; probably thrown out. After being in the emergency room for 4 hours to be old that "neither of the boys ingested them", I got a lockbox.