[Mommy74]

Ok, Hi I am not new here but havent posted in awhile. I just becamed licensed in Michigan and got my 1st placement today or will be today at 5pm. I am so scared because I know these kids will be devastated and I just feel sad that they are being taken from their parents for whatever reason and I want to know if this is normal. I mean its hard to say whats normal everyone deals with these things differently but I am just hurting for these kids. I know I am happy that we as foste rparents are here for them but it just feels really sad. Is every case lik ethis or does the nervous, scared sad thing go away? Thanks and I guess I just needed to talk about my feelings to someone out there.

Kim
Mother of 2 wonderful kids
Foster mom to 3
grl 5mth, boy 4 and boy 7..

[straightblues]

I got a sibling group of 3. It is a hard transition. I wish you luck and will say prayers for you.

My children were happy to get out of their abusive home. Yours may be also. Don't put feelings on them, let them have their own. You probably have twice the anxiety they do. RELAX and and enjoy it. Remember, they are little children and their world view is much smaller and they tend to stay in the moment unlike us adults. The neverous scared thing will go away for all of you in a couple of weeks. Don't take things to serious until you've ALL had a chance to settle in.

[shaylynn]

Congratulations on your new little ones into your home. Try not to be alarmed as to what the 4 yr and 7 yr old may say to you or do as far as behaviors, they will be confused and angry at you probably because they are away from home and no matter how horrible home was, to them it was still home and that is what they are used to. The 5 yr old boy I have right now said that his dad was going to come and spank me, cut my throat and choke me because I had put him in my home, it is just his way of letting out anger. Remember the first few days are usually the hardest. everyone You/your kids/and them have a lot of adjustments to make no matter how many preparations that you have thought that you made. My mistake with my very first set of foster kids was that I let them get by without following the house rules because I felt sorry for them, realized latter to impliment them right away (at least the major rules for sure) Hang on for a fun, exhausting?, joyous, sad, wild ride Again congratulations!

[FosterSurroBirthMom]

Wow...I would just say relax, kids can feel tension...let them know you are there to help them not harm them ( if it comes up) Good luck!! my classes are in October to become a foster parent I can't wait either...

[FosterSurroBirthMom]

Where in MI are you?? I am also in MI and located South of lansing...I have a foster adopt surrogate family in general site if you would like to join...ANYONE is welcome

link:
FosterSurroFamilyinMichigan : Parenting in Michigan, Foster, Surrogate
website:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Foster...ilyinMichigan/

[straightblues]

Originally Posted by shaylynn

My mistake with my very first set of foster kids was that I let them get by without following the house rules because I felt sorry for them, realized latter to impliment them right away (at least the major rules for sure)

This is so true. Crack down on them right away. My children thrived when we gave them structure and discipline. Without it they got scared and very unruley. Please don't be afraid to discipline them they need it and want it.

[Mommy74]

Thanks for all the advice. It has been a very hard few days here. The boys are pretty good but the oldest wants to try to argue all the time with my 7 yr old. I think that is what drives me crazy. The constant arguing between the 2. Thank gosh for school starting tomorrow.lol About the discilpine yeah I have implimented it and they seem ok with it. Except the oldest keeps saying he has more fun at home and its boring here.lol I think it will work out it will take time..

[lilybugs]

It shows how much you want these/this child/ren to feel safe.
I found my nervousness never got better but my confidence did. And that helped all the way around.
Just give the child space to warm up, don't expect too much at first and be prepared when it's time to say good bye.. I had to stop fostering because i found I became too attached too quickly and letting go was more than I could emotionally bear. It's not an easy position and God bless you that do it. I do thank God for my son, who came from fosterparenting. I told them no infants, Iknew I couldn't let go. Well, they had NO ONE else to take him,so I couldn't say no, could i? lol he was ten days old, today he is 13 and my first miracle.
THere are joys and heartbreaks with fostering. Be prepared for both and you will do and be fine.