[Ashbre]

the supervisor doesn't feel comfortable moving forward with us as foster parents because I never got counseling for the various abuses I suffered as a child.

Everyone that knows me says I am the most well-adjusted person they know. Even the social worker appointed to us told her supervisor that I guess. But still, because I haven't gone through counseling to deal with it with a professional, I'm not suitable as a foster parent.

They would like us, on the other hand, to do respite care for a year and they will revisit our file.

So I'm good enough to babysit foster children (up to two weeks at a time) but not good enough to foster children for any length of time

She did tell me that although I can apply to other agencies to foster, they would still have to approve that child's placement in my home anyway and they really wouldn't be willing to do that.

Any suggestions? I just called my worker's supervisor (not the one who does the certifying) and left a message asking if there is a counselor or whatever that I can talk to to see what they're take is on how I've dealt with my past.

[roselee]

Good Grief!

I can relate, also. I have similiar issues in my background and am well adjusted. They probably just didn't do that to me because I am a counselor and school psychologist. During the counseling program we had to go through counseling ourselves for afew months, that frankly I thought it was very stupid and a waste of time for me. Although I have been through a lot, I have already worked them out. The counselor ended up saying that to me and dismissed me after a month; much quicker than the other people in our counseling program who really haven't been through the stuff I have been (although their stuff seemed so insignificant to me, it was signficant for them - very signficant). I can understand the reasoning, but why don't they just make us all jump through the counseling hoops then...??? Not just those who have experienced abuse trauma.

Respite can turn into foster anyways, right?

Perhaps you may just have to jump through hoops; go to a counselor to make them happy. Your counseling sessions will probably consist of you and the counselor talking about stuff you have already worked through and the counselor will probably dismiss you early and there you go - proof!! There could have been some bad experience they experienced before and they want to cover the bases to protect the child (nothing against you, trust me).
You posted this a while ago...any updates? Please let us know!!

[sunnyandi13]

So sorry to hear you're dealing with this... I'm in KY too and I know from the inside how difficult the system is to work with sometimes...

That being said, I've been told that uncounseled victims (whether it be sexual, physical, emotional, any abuse) can be psychologically evaluated by an independent psychologist or psychiatrist and provide "rebuttal" evidence. Would you be willing to attend two or three sessions to establish a good clear mental health picture? I know current foster parents that get in a "bind" and need a little counseling are eligible to use Seven Counties' services. (This situation came up for a family I know.)

Don't give up hope yet! We need more foster parents - especially those who have truly been there, done that. Good luck!

[roselee]

I like that idea!! That would be a lot quicker just getting that mental health evaluation. It will probably cost money, but come tax season...just write it off if you can. Do it, get it over with, and become a good foster parents that these kids so desperately need!! You have been where some of these kids have and they really need you. Please keep trecking....

[madfostermomma]

Wait so let me get this striaght you raised 2 children and now are "fit" to raise your grandchildren but can't take in regular foster children. And as far as being able do respite- that I dont get -either way the sate still has custody and is liable. I'd start knocking on doors up the food chain.

[Ashbre]

I would gladly talk to a counselor/evaluator to show that I have dealt with all my issues as I claim - and I did call the supervisor back and left a voicemail to that effect but haven't heard anything about it.

I believe she said that after one year, they would re-evaluate - its a possibility, not a definite.

The big kicker is that I don't see how they would say I was fit to adopt the kids we want if I'm not fit to foster.

[Ashbre]

How would I go about getting this set up? Could I bill it on my insurance - lol???

I don't know the first thing about something like this or how to get the ball rolling on it. Any suggestions???

[Ashbre]

My girls are 17 today and 16 in two weeks - uggghhh!!!! The grandchildren are from my stepdaughter. But I've also taken in my nephews and nieces at different times as well.

And I totally agree - how can I be fit to babysit foster children but not fit to foster them? If I were going to freak out or whatever, it could happen in either scenario. What's the point???

As for going up the food chain, that I definitely intend to do. I'm going to try to set up an appt with my worker, her supervisor (who I spoke with today) and her supervisor's supervisor and hopefully the person who does the certifying as well.

[straightblues]

Welcome to the foster care world. It is a broken system as you have already discovered. I am doing fost/adopt. I have been in the system 14 months. I am on my fourth social worker. It never gets better.

Good luck. I would say wait awhile and the supervisor and the worker will likely change.

[hermi14]

Donna et al,
Wow, I didn't realize that the home study was that specific in its mental health requirements! I have to admit it's probably a good thing, even though people like you have to suffer for it.
I am about to step into your world in about two weeks as I do my training and start my home study. I was sexually abused by my mother's boyfriend and I have seen a therapist off and on at various times in my life. (We have psychologists in the family so it's almost a lifestyle.) In fact I've started to see my therapist again since making the decision to foster/adopt. Will I have to get her to write a letter saying that I've "dealt with my issues"?
If you have good insurance it will cover mental health visits. But its never as good as the physical benefits. My therapist is out of network, so I have a very large deductible, and they only count 60% of what I pay her towards the deductible, and then when they finally start coverage they only pay 40% of her fee. Social workers are less expensive than PHD psychologists, so you might save money that way.
You should definitely pursue the rebuttal.
Hermi