[Ashbre]

After struggling with the decision for what seems like forever, we called child protective services on my stepdaughter last week. I spoke with the worker assigned to her case and he said that they already have "more than enough" stuff on her (the no water, power soon to be shut off and the eviction would be enough on its own but there's also medical neglect, child endangerment - refuses to strap kids into car seats or even use one in the case of her 2 yr old daughter -. drug dealing etc).

he said he's giving her 2 more days before he makes his decisions as she is of course making promises.

He knows that we've already been through the foster parent classes and are shortly to be certified so if they are removed, they will try to place them with us first.

I hate the thought that the kids will be in foster care at all but am glad that we will be able to take them. I did tell him that part of the reason I called was to see if she just needed their "services" which means help with housing, daycare etc. She told him last Friday that my call was "racially motivated" due to the children being bi-racial. I got a big laugh out of that one.

anyway, I'll keep you posted.

Donna

[oldenough]

Dona, I'm so sorry you're going through this with your daughter. It can't be easy. I'm sure that call was hard for you to make but it's a good thing you did.

I hope the kids get to go to you. That would be a blessing, wouldn't it? They get to go stay at Gramma's house?

My prayers are with you and your family.

[Kate1129]

I'm sorry for your families struggle! However what better place to go then grandma's!!!!!!!!

[ALI143]

Careful...I know a Gma that had to do this same thing and the bmom was so angry she made up lies about all of them, even an aunt that is a experienced foster mom is good standing with the state that had a relationship with the baby. The baby was put with strangers and the bmom really regrets her lies now and the gma regrets calling. It's been sad for the whole family.

[Ashbre]

1) She loves to terrorize her daughter (son is too small still) and had that child terrified of the dark at just a year old - child didn't say much but knew enough to say "light on, I'm scared" at 1

2) childrens' father is a crack dealer (has trial in April but will probably only get probation) and has stated that he wants the children to grow up around drugs so they aren't freaked out by them as they get older

3) father not only sells in from of the children but also lets his "customers" smoke the crack around them

4) stepdaughter lets children go off for days with his family members despite knowing the person is a crack addict (once let the 2 yr old daughter go stay for four days with his uncle - who she referred to as a crackhead

5) house they live in not only has no water, but the electricity and heat are due to be shut off any day as well as her being evicted and having to move by the 10th

6) paternal gma is a crack addict as well (and one of her son's customers) but she lets her watch the kids

7) 2 yr old granddaughter got herpes in her EYE at a year old - stepdaughter waited a month to take her to the doctor to find out why the child's eye had swelled shut & also had a flareup around Thanksgiving of this past year; stepd took her to the dr the first week of Dec but then didn't give the child her eye drops nor did the paternal gma so at mid-January, the child's eye was still swollen nearly shut and had been for so long that you could see the eye was no longer being used as it would be pointed to the side while she was looking right at you (dh and I started watching them about this time and made sure she got her eye drops every two hours as directed on the bottle - it started clearing up immediately and was gone within a week -- now mind you that herpes in the eye causes scarring on the cornea which will cause blindness in that eye and stepd knows this but couldn't be bothered to make sure the eye drops were given

8) at 2 yrs old, gdd has to have her two top front teeth pulled and a root canal on each of the teeth next to those - stepd was told this in the first week of Dec and has repeatedly missed the appt to the point where the dr's office refuses to schedule any more for her (dh tried to schedule one and told them he would guarantee that the child would make the appt and they said sorry, she needs to find another dentist)

9) children have not been to the dr for physicals or immunizations in as stepd put it, " a long time" b/c she was too tired and just didn't want to get up - mind you gson is 7 1/2 mos old so that means he probably hasn't been back since his 1 mo checkup

she has a history of doing this as when gdaughter was 1 year old, her dr told stepd that either she got gdaughter in for her immunizations immediately, or she would be calling in a complaint of medical neglect herself

10) children do not have a medical card as stepd wouldn't keep appts

11) stepd does not receive food stamps or even WIC as she missed those appts also

12) stepd does not have a job to support herself much less her children and won't proceed with obtaining a child support order against the childrens' father as she feels that he will provide more if there isn't one than if there is

13) the father has a pit bull that he not only keeps as a pet but also uses in dog fights - my hubby has seen him beating the dog as has my older daughter (the poor dogs crime that time was that he was sitting on her lap, being petted - the guy saw it, had a buddy of his get Dollar from my daughter, took it in the back of the house and started beating it)

14) baby is so used to being left in bed that he no longer cries much and the only way we know when he's woken up from naps etc is by constantly checking on him

15) baby has had a rash so bad that his skin was peeling from being left in the same diaper from the time she put him down at night til she finally gets up in the afternoon

She's already tried telling her worker that the call was racially motivated (I just laughed when the worker asked me about it and he definitely didn't want to ask me that as it took him a bit to even get the words out) also told him that she couldn't make it to appts b/c we took "her" car from her - actually it was one of our cars and we've had her have 3 different accidents with one of our cars and not know how the dents or hole happened; she's trashed out the cars inside each time within days; she's loaned out the car to the drug dealing boyfriend to use while she works; she even rented the car to another guy she barely knew for $50; she's said she needed the car to get to work and then didn't go; I think you can understand why we had to take the car back - lol.

As far as our worker goes, she knows we have a history with stepd and we were even worried as to what she would put on the adult child interview sheet so we've told them all about her from day one. Regardless, if the worst does happen and she causes trouble for us, as long as the children are safe and being well cared for, I'm still happy but thanks for the warning.

[jandn]

You've done the right thing and put the needs of these kids first. I know it is hard to deal with in your own family but I hope that these kids know what you have done for them one day!

[oldenough]

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. And those poor children! Have they been removed yet? What are they waiting for?

I am praying for you and your family. I hope the state steps in for the sake of the children, or by some miracle, your SD suddenly understands what she's about to lose.

Please, keep us posted.

[WhoKnew]

Wow. Sad for the kids about their current situation, but it's wonderful they can people who already know them and love them.

[hotspice58]

I can't believe that those kids weren't taken from her already. If they were school age and didn't have immunizations, they wouldn't be allowed in school and that itself is child neglect. Go figure!!!