[skylark_25]

Well, I've recently finished my classes and turned in all the paperwork required, home inspections and such. Now all I have left to do is the homestudy. The CPS agency I'm working with is referring out to a private agency in order to get them done quicker. I was just hoping some of you could let me know what to expect. Thanks in advance for any help.

Becca

[Roon63]

Your homestudy, is put together by the SW or agency...You have done everything you can. Now the waiting. You might ask your SW, if there is a timeline that has to be accomplished. Then you will know when it is complete, and sent for possible matching.

[momofmykids]

Are your background checks done? Have the sent out and received your reference letters? Those things have to be done. If the home inspection is done, that's good. I always feel like things have to be perfect when they show up, not sure why...I've only been doing this for 12 years!

Good luck!

[skylark_25]

Thanks for the replies. All of my background checks and references have been done since I turned in the application. I live in Texas and my understanding is that the homestudy just involves a caseworker coming to my home and asking me questions about my life and parenting views. I guess I just wanted some input on what kind of questions they will be asking. Thanks again.


Becca

[floqueen]

This link may help. I too am waiting for the homestudy and came across this link while researching. It was very informative and appears to be guidelines for the CW doing the study. Good luck!

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Adoption...Guidelines.asp

[Dhewco]

How important are family references? What does a guy do when sister, parents and grandparents think he is crazy for wanting to be a single father? I've been talking about this since I was 23 (31 now) and the desire to be a father hasn't changed . . . neither has the family incredulity.

Can you get a child (foster/foster to adopt) without your parents support?

I have one friend I could trust with the child, if things happen. My sister TPR'd her children in favor of the mil, so I couldn't will any kid to her. (in the case of adoption)

My plan is, if it's a foster situation and I'm too sick to take care of the kid...I'll let my friend take him for a day. If it's an adopted kid situation and I'm sick..the same plan applies. If I meet my end, I can fall on to some cousins who might be willing to take him.

But the question is, will they require my parents input...and how will they value it?

David

[jackiesbooks]

In my case (MD), they asked for references - they had to have 1 neighbor, 1 friend and 1 family member. It did not have to be my parents. I used my sister. Is there 1 family member that is supportive?

[Dhewco]

Well, there are some cousins I haven't tried. LOL.

Neighbors? Are you kidding? I'm don't even know my neighbors' names and I've lived here for six years.

The neighbor to the left does tell me we went to high school together, though.

What do they ask neighbors?

David

[twofus]

Becca,
I am also from Texas and we just went through our homestudy. We're going through a private agency, so our experiences probably won't be identical. I skim read the link somone had posted and that does address the areas they are asking you about. There will be specific questions about each topic. The whole process can take several hours because there are SO many questions to answer. I didn't find them very intimidating because I tend to be pretty much an open book. It's just that sometimes your mind goes blank when you have to answer so many questions about yourself.
Here are a few of the questions I remember:
"Tell about your happiest/sad childhood experience, describe your father/mother, what role did he/she play in the family, what did you like @ him/her, what did you wish you could change @ him/her, what is your relationship like now.....What do you like/wish you could change about your spouse/yourself as a spouse" I could go on and on. You also have to give your income, the amounts allotted to the various categories of your budget, any debts, payments, utilities, etc.. Some want to see bank statements. Any other questions?

I was determined NOT to be nervous, but the morning before the homestudy I was cleaning furiously. It went so well; we were laughing and having a great time.

I hope it goes well for you.

[jandn]

David,


They will ask about your support system in general when caring for a child. This doesn't have to be your family, it could be your friends, religious connections or even a parenting group.

We have large families and are very close to them but we've chosen a close friend (who is also single) to have custody if anything should happen to us. The decision is personal they just want to know that you have a plan in place.

[Dhewco]

Thanks, Jan...still curious as to why the neighbors are important. A friend of mine who has adopted told me it's because they could have some observations that family might not see. I have trouble with that, because my neighbors barely notice me. I'm a private person when I'm home. I keep the drapes/curtains pulled...barely wave when I see a neighbor walk by. (To be honest, they don't initiate contact either.)

Neighbors aren't going to be helpful to me or to the agencies, not in my case. I will have a plan by the time I begin the procedure.

David

[jackiesbooks]

not sure what the neighbors form looked like. I was not given access to them before or after they were filled out.

I assume they think the neighbors would know about your person habits - wild parties , if any current children issues.

I live in the country. None of my neighbors live close enough to pay attention to us. We pick the neighbor down the street, because her girls were friendly with my son. The parents do not know us - we wave as they go down the street - thats it.

[Dhewco]

Thanks Jackie

The secrecy is one thing I really don't like. I can understand the situation...the neighbors wouldn't feel free to comment on anything if you get to read their comments. BUT, what happens if you pick the wrong neighbors...if the neighbors secretly don't think a single guy should adopt. Those are the things paranoid old me worries about.

David


P.S. I was joking, I'm only paranoid half the time. LOL.

[jackiesbooks]

Is there a friend that is in the general neighborhood? Not on your street.

[Dhewco]

My best friend is two streets over. But I was already going to list her as my friend reference. If things go well, I'll move by February. I'll have to suck it up and make friends in my new neighborhood. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, which I fight with some medication. I'm no where near as bad as I was, but sometimes it's painful to knock on someone's door and say..."Hi, I'm the new neighbor. How are you...blah blah." Outside of Church, I find it hard to make friends.

David