[Rocking Mama]

I'm speaking from the wisdom of hindsight and wanted to share something that would've helped me immensely had I done it from the beginning and continuously since then.....

That is: STUDY YOUR FOSTER PARENT TRAINING MANUALS AND YOUR FOSTER PARENT HANDBOOK!!! Know these like the back of your hand. Highlight and familiarize yourselves with all the info -- especially that which is pertinent to the age-group you are fostering.

I didn't realize that most SW's don't even know what all is in these books. Unfortunately, if you don't know what your rights and responsibilities are, you might be given incorrect info and you might also be taken advantage of. There are also many resources and information for almost every scenario in these books. I used the info in my books to individualize our family's boundaries so that next time, we won't be "forced" to do something we don't feel comfortable with and we will be able to show a SW (for example) exactly where it says they MUST provide us with their home phone or personal 24-hour phone number for us to reach them.

I have been learning so much during these weeks without foster kids. I ordered business cards to hand to the people on our fc's team when we meet them in hopes they will treat us more professionally and with proper respect. I have organized 2 blank 3 ring binders filled with forms for documentation ready for the next fc. I have sorted the extra clothes we have in storage by size and season for the next child. I've purchased extra diapers, formula, baby food, wipes, diaper rash cream, etc. in case the child comes late in the day or evening.

I just wanted to share with y'all to BE READY from a pro-active stand-point. If you come across prepared, organized and knowledgable about your role as fp's you may have more favor from the SW's and DHS in general.

For whomever this may benefit. RM

[Kate1129]

RM,

That is a great idea! We did just that. I studied that book front to back! I have had SWer's try and tell me something different! It don't jive and I do let them know that I am not uneducated! It's benifited us greatly!!!

[Rocking Mama]

Kate,
Thanks for your encouraging response! In a perfect system, we wouldn't have to be so prepared to be dissed! But, having the handbook to back us makes it so it's not a personal thing, it's just what the handbook says. HELPS TREMENDOUSLY to have that kind of backup. Thanks again. RM

[Honeyx2]

I started a clothing closet in our county where all the foster parents pooled our clothes, car seats, beds, etc. We raised money and got a building donated luckily.

Now we have Kara's Kloset.
It is an emergency type place where foster parents come and get whatever they need free of charge.
Whether it be school uniforms or supplies, baby beds, toiletries, etc.
We are going on our 4th year with no signs of letting up.

Also as a seasoned foster parent, I suggest getting a spiral notebook and document everything.
I keep a big binder for my children with protective pages and dividers in it for each child. There are drs visits, parental visits, medications, behavior charts, etc.
In the spiral notebook, I keep a record of calls to s/w, court outcomes and things like that.

Milissa,
President of the
South Ms. Foster Parent Assn
Manager of Kara's Kloset
Mom to
Mindra,14 adopted from Romania 1999
Danny,5 Adopted 2002
Lee, 20, Adopted 2002
M,17 foster daughter
M,17 foster daughter
B,13, foster daughter

[Kate1129]

Milissa,

That is wonderful! I sure wish we had something like that in our county.

[kllee4]

Just a quick question for the veterans............Have you ever taken a stand on something and then had it held against you later? I guess I would be a little hesitant in putting my foot down on something (that would be considered not endangering the child) like the phone numbers or being adamant about the children that would benefit from being in your home (I have heard that they may sugar coat some behaviors in the hopes that they will find a family that can "deal" with it, even temporarily). I have read stories here in which fparents have felt as though they didn't get enough placements or that their SW was ignoring their concerns. I guess we don't want to become a thorn in their side and then have them deal with us differently. I have heard that there is favoritism with a few SWs favoring certain families but then having them ignore or be downright mean to others. I guess we would have to pick our battles in the hopes that all that we do for the children will be the most important!

I guess I feel as though we would be at the mercy of the SWs since they seem to be the ones in control. Great advice, though, because being educated about your rights in any situation is greatly beneficial.

[wants2adopt]

How long have you been a foster family and in which state? My family is almost at the end of the process to be a foster family in the hopes of adopting children to add to our family. My caseworker has been great (NJ) and our training fun, educational, eye opening. It's proven to us even more that we are the perfect family to take in infants and toddlers. But I also have been stocking up on clothes from friends, supplies, and trying to organize my home BEFORE the first baby comes in. Any advice is welcome! Thanks.