[Katrinad]

Hi there, this is probably a little off track, however life's too short to be predictable, and I have questions.

So many of you have large families! Biokids and fosterkids together make large broods! How on earth do you manage, and how about you girls with lots of toddlers and babies. Here I am wondering how to get through the next hour (some days) with three boys of 7, 5 and 2 1/2!! We don't have heaps of "stuff", the kids don't have heaps of toys, but boy can they make a mess. I hate dusting, so I'm pretty light on the housework, I'd rather be out in the garden or have my nose in a book.

What do you all do for a little light relief? I'm wondering if you are all really disciplined (within yourselves), and very routine? Please know that I am laughing at myself, I seem to be a fair weather mum, as long as the weather is fair my mothering is great. Don't talk to me on a rainy day!!
Katrina

[lovemy6]

I "only" have 5 children at home, two little ones and three teens, so I probably have it better off than those with lots of little ones. All of my children have chores. My teens do their own laundry. My little ones help fold their socks and underwear. I'm obsessive about how their clothes are folded or hung, so I do that myself.

All of my children help set the table, serve, and clear the table. My teens will load the dishwasher or put the dishes away on occassion.

The little ones feed and water the dog and the teens walk her.

Saturday morning after an hour of cartoons (the only tv the children watch during the week), we do family chores. We rotate who vaccuums and cleans the bathrooms. I dust bc of my nick-nacks. I admit I only dust once a month. I usually wash the kitchen floor every other week, but spot clean it daily.

I take all the children grocery shopping with me. They each choose one special meal a week. They shop for that meal. I teach them comparative shopping so they get the most for their (my) money. When I cook, I usually cook enough for two meals and freeze one that I use for weekends, when I'm too busy to cook, or on days that I don't feel like cooking or am too busy.

Because we have a large family, my children need to be taught early on to help with the care of our family. They are very responsible children, but we also have lots of fun together. We have a family day once a month where we go to the zoo, museums, or whatever the children want to do. They are all involved in fun activities like scouting. My advice is to buy a big calendar, get organized, and have fun with the children!

[mmakino]

I love the idea of letting each child choose a dinner and shop for it! What a great way to a) keep them occupied during shopping b) teach them budgeting c) teach them cooking and d) appreciate the effort it takes into making a meal! There are so many wonderful ideas on this site. Thank you!

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi,

I have kids that are 17, 16, 3, 2,and 1. The 16 and 17 do their own laundry and have other jobs like take out the trash, feed the dogs/cats, clean up after the dog (16's job and he hates it LOL). My dh works Tue. thru Sat. 2-11 so I'm alone with them a lot. The 2 older ones are boys and are a huge help My 17 y/o helps willingly with things like carrying them up to bed for me, he'll even change a diaper if I'm not feeling well (but I have to be pretty bad off LOL). The 16 y/o likes to gripe but will help if I ask.

My little ones don't help LOL they hurt! They are very messy and it's a chore to get them to help pick up their toys! To be honest, I clean maybe once every 2 weeks, with the exception of the kitchen, I clean up daily and the living room (where the kids are) I vacuum everyday (I have to we have 2 dogs and 2 cats and a dark carpet - stupid of me but it's beautiful). My dh cleans the bathrooms He was supposed to teach the older 2 how to do that but never got around to it.

I went from a mom of 2 teenaged boys (our oldest is almost 21 and moved out of state 2 weeks ago) to a mom of 4 literally in an hour. My house went from immaculate to being lucky to see that we actually do have a rug in our living room LOL. I wouldn't change a thing! These kids bring me (all of us) so much happiness and love. They grow up so fast and I've had to retrain myself to not worry about clutter and just enjoy loving them and being their mommy. Having already raised my 2 biological sons I know just how short of a time we have with them this little and I'm determined to make the most of that time.

Best of luck. My motto is, it'll be there tomorrow, noone's gonna clean it for me LOL"

Michelle

[leaabc123]

I am going to be going through this myself. At least for the next few weeks, we will have 2 babies under the age of one (8 month old boy and 2 day old boy). the 8 month oldd is probably leaving in a week and we don't know the story on our new little peanut.
I am alone mon-fri most weeks as my partner travels for work.

I just plan to take a few deep breaths and attempt to go with the flow. House work has never been my top priority, as long as things are relatively neat and clean, then I am okay.

Getting out of the house will be an adventure in itself.

[1of2moms]

I am going to pipe in with only one in the house. our son has chores he does every week. He is 5 and does his own laundry (puts it in the front-loading washer, moves it from washer to dryer, folds and puts away), cleans and vaccums his bedroom every week, and cleans the "kids" bathroom every week. He also will set the table when asked and puts his dishes in the dishwasher.

I think that often parents don't give the younger ones as much responsibilty as they can take and enjoy. I think if we expect it of them, and teach them to do it, kids can help with many of the household chores.

[Dmommab]

You know you have a large family when - - - - you have to drive more than one car if you all want to go somewhere together. LOL There are 10 of us living in my house. Myself, my husband, my 98 year old grandma (yes 98!), our 3 biological daughters who are 22, 19 & 14, our 5 year old daughter who we have legal custody of, S & S (who are siblings, ages 2 & 4)who are foster children, and Zackery who is 21 months whose adoption was just final. My two oldest do their own laundry but aren't too good about cleaning up after themselves in the kitchen. I usually load the dishwasher with dirty dishes at least twice a day & do at least 1-2 loads of laundry a day (if I don't I'm sorry real soon!). My 3 older girls are good about helping out if I ask them to and my 14 year old is home schooled so she is around during the day. She takes dance classes about 1/2 hour from our house 5 days a week and when it's my turn to drive to dance class I try to have my husband watch the other kids so I can just go have a little peace and quiet. Sometimes I run to WalMart or just sit in the car and read a book while waiting for her but it's a little bit of "me" time. I also love to take bubble baths and just relax in the tub (but usually someone is banging on the door saying "mom" LOL) It's a lot of work & there are times I think "how in the world am I going to manage this?" but since I worked full time when my bio kids were little I enjoy being able to stay home with these guys so much! It's so nice to let them get up in the morning when they are ready & greet me with a smile rather than my grabbing them out of their cribs & dressing them to take them to grandmas or a babysitter so I can run to work. being home with them full time is what I enjoy the most about being a foster & adoptive parent. And when I go somewhere with just 1 or 2 kids I don't know how to act - it's too EASY!!!! LOL Hang in there!!!!!!!!

[HopefulMommyNC]

I have 5 kids, T 10, Michelle 5, S 3, B 2, & Emily 16mon
I am a stay at home mom, T helps out on the farm and a few chores in the house and so does Michelle, I do the brunt of the work at nap time when the older two are at school, I have found that lunch time is a good time for laundry (my laundry room is off the kitchen) and a little earlier bedtime (younger 4 at 7pm, T's is 8:30) let's me have time to clean up and time to relax by myself or with hubby. also sat we all clean up for an hour so it's basically done and we can enjoy our weekend. The biggest thing is to stay on top of it, don't slack or you'll be sorry later. Also I have a big calendar and cork board in the kitchen to keep up with apts and activites, we check it the night before to plan out the day (lay out cloths, bookbags or whatever is needed night before so it's ready and less hectic in the morning) and keep up with the logistics of who what where when and how!!!
But remember "tomarrow is another day, and let tomarrow worry about itself!"

[jenandnaomi]

A quick note with a trick that I have started using. I have two wonderful fd's right now- a 2 month old and a 5 month old- and I'm using cloth diapers. My laundry is in the basement which is such a pain, but if I don't keep up with laundry I don't have any diapers! I put some special chocolates down there so if I want a treat I have to change the laundry. So until my fd's are old enough to help with housework I'm bribing myself to do it!

[Katrinad]

What a great idea, esp for someone like me who cannot resist chocolate. My washing would be totally up to date!! Thanks everyone for your replies, some really good ideas there. I've been implementing a few rules around here over the last week. No foster kids in residence, but three kids home full time now that 7yo has started school holidays over the summer. Slowly, slowly catchee monkey. We'll get there.
Katrina

[EvaC]

I have 7 children at home. My bio sons are 19, 16, and 13 yr old twins. My fc are two sons that are 4 and 2 and one daughter that turned 9 on Christmas day. There is NEVER a dull moment in our home! Everyone has chores that they have to do. My bio sons have been such a blessing to us with helping with our fc. And since we have had our fc for over 2 years even they have chores and help out. I too am very lucky to be a stay at home mom. But even so, I still don't get upset if the house is not spic and span. It's like the rest of you said, children grow up too quickly, enjoy them while you can.

Eva

Bio mom to William 19, Alex 16, Matt & Andy 13
fm/soon to be adopted mom to K (9), D (4) & R (2)

[tybeemarie]

Great thread. I'm a new mom to 3 siblings. I stay at home, but it is still a lot to keep up with housework and cooking. We've moved back into our house, which we had remodeled to accommodate a larger family. I so wish I were making more headway into setting up the house! I really hope that this week will be the week.

Anyway, one great resource is http://www.flylady.net, which is a free service. They send you emails during the day to prompt you to keep organized and stay committed to simple routines. No task takes more than 15 minutes. Timers are a big part of the program. So is decluttering.

It is amazing how much STUFF we Americans have. Totally unnecessary and so draining. There is nothing like having to box your possessions to drive home how many things we keep out of inertia (I'll figure out what to do with this later), fear (what if I need this one day?), greed (I don't use it, but it's good quality, so I'll hang on to it), etc. You start simple: get up 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the family, clean up and dress yourself nicely, put on makeup or moisturizer, do your hair, put on shoes. Do laundry every day if you have enough for a load (I do 2 to 3!), be sure to go from one step to the next, chop chop--sort, wash, dry, fold, put away. Toss your trash every day. Keep a really clean sink--as the sink goes, so goes the house. So, for example, after dinner, do all the dishes (it really does take only 15 minutes to totally clean up a kitchen if you use a timer), and in the morning, put them away first thing. Then you can load the dishwasher all day. Since you actually shine your sink with Windex, you really don't want to put dirty things in it, and it keeps you on top of the dishes. Your sink looks so nice, you start keeping on top of the counters, then the floors, etc. A key principle is that even imperfect housecleaning blesses your family. Very liberating and very true. If you can't do it all, do what you can. It is amazing how much you can do with 15 minutes and a timer.

The kids LOVE timers and are actually eager to help. The one problem is that they can get into fights over who gets to do the chores--why does SHE get to clean the sink? Why can't I clean out the cats' litter box? Once I get my act together, I am going to follow the advice of another flybaby, who made housecleaning a game called Bless Our House. She laminated cards that had simple chores: dust living room with feather duster; mop kitchen floor; take out kitchen trash. She places them face down on her kitchen table. She and the kids gather in a circle, put their hands together, and cheer, Bless Our House! Then the timer is set for 10 minutes. Each person grabs a card and races to complete the task in 10 minutes. If you finish your task, you can help someone else with theirs. If all the tasks are finished, she gives the kids a little treat from the dollar store. My thought is to celebrate with a trip to the park.

I think it's important but tricky to get a balance: keeping a clean house while at the same time not being obsessed by it and missing out on the fun of kids. I know our kids really notice and appreciate that our house is clean, having come from a foster home that was truly filthy--rats, cockroaches, FILTHY clothing, very faulty plumbing, rare baths, etc. Now, to my mind, our house is very disorganized after this move. But, it is a clean house, and it really adds to their sense of calm and security. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like I would like to spend more time in play.

Thanks for the neat thread. You all sound like such great parents!

[Fostering2Adopt]

ow you guys... I thought my 4 children were a lot... ages 10, 8, 2 1. My 2 oldest children have chores, and are pretty good with them. Until we got our fchildren (the 2 &1 year old) my house stayed pretty clean but those days were tossed to the wind. I have a plague that says:

"cleaning & scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
for babies grow up weve learned to our sorrow...
so quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
Im rocking my babies and babies don't keep!)"


author: 1958 Ruth Hamilton

That has become my motto. do plan my meals a month in advance and a shopping list (according to the isles of Wal-mart) that i print off my computer and mark what i need off of it.

Anyway...now youve learned the method to my madness... hee hee

BTW what does"dh" mean on this forum?

[Katrinad]

I have one of those generic type grocery lists too. It's a life saver, I print off 10 at a time. Everyone comments on it. As for dh, it means (depending on your mood) dear husband, darling husband, darned husband... that's all I can think of at the moment!
Katrina

[mn_mom4more]

*Jotting down reminder note to bring chocolates to the laundry room*

So many fabulous ideas! Thanks everyone!

I love the idea of Saturday cleaning for an hour and/or choosing an index card with a chore! DH really should be the one to clean the bathrooms (3), but I don't trust him! LOL! He recently found out exactly WHAT kind of mess HE and our ds leave at/on the toilet. *shaking head* How would he ever survive without me?!

Our dd is 8-1/2 and we have a difficult time getting her to pick up her toys! I'm not the best for keeping my clutter/paperwork picked up, so having her toys piled on top of MY clutter doubles the appearance of my job! She doesn't care if she can see the carpeting in her room OR the carpet in the rest of the house.

We are newly foster licensed and are still waiting for our first placement. I'm a little worried that if we can't get her to be better about her stuff, then any other kids in this house will follow her example. I don't have time to clean up EVERYTHING... I enjoy sleeping at night!!! She protests that our ds, 7 yr. old on Monday, doesn't clean up his stuff. He is mentally impaired and he WILL pick up his toys if you are right there with him helping... sometimes having to do hand over hand with him. He does what he is able to do, that's all we ask. (He has PCA's - personal care attendants - here with him every day and they are able to help him with his toys, among other things, but when dd expects the PCA to clean HER room, I'm not a happy mommy!) We don't expect the same from both kids because they are obviously at different levels. Any ideas??

I have a weekly menu, also. Ds chooses 1 meal/week (of course he always says Dairy Queen and I always say, no, pick again!), and dd picks a few - Sunday nights are spaghetti night. I have a grocery list, I created in excel, sectioned according to how the grocery store is laid out (ex. deli, produce, juice/beverages). I don't shop weekly, it all depends on the sale ad and our weekly menu (I'm trying to get more organized and be 1 week ahead on our menu). I can't shop monthly at this point because we'd never have enough money in the account to cover that check! LOL! Considering I went to the grocery store TWICE this week, I'll be able to do a menu for the next 2 weeks! (The first time I didn't give myself an adequate amount of time before the kids were due home, and after running into a few different people and chit chatting, I ran out of time!)

My MIL has this plaque in her kitchen that I have always loved... she gave me one just like it a couple years ago for Christmas. It says:

"Dull people have immaculate homes!"

I'm not dull and I have PROOF!