[Just Julie]

Did someone mention doing the school runs with another mom and her kids also who go to the same school? Earlier I suggested a friend or neighbor, but another mom whose kids know yours would be ideal. I loved the hand-holding-chain idea also. Hope it is working out.

[clynn]

I too have four babies two yrs old and under and I understand what you are going through.I cannot go anywhere by myself because the two older ones will not stay next to me and the are constanty running off or will fall behind me and just stand there.I have a terrible time picking them up from daycare.I have made the hard decision to have the last one moved since she has only been here a month.She is really rough and is a fighter and a biter. She came from a home where she was abused and thats all she knows.I feel she would do better in a home that can give her more one on one attention.I feel more overwhelmed everyday and although some days are easier than others the bad days are almost unbearable.You have to do what is best for all of you.Only you know what you can handle.

[Just Julie]

Good advice, clynn, and a good decision for you and that last little one. Victims of prolonged or severe abuse do need a lot of one-on-one attention, no matter what their age.

[Love_um_all]

Roots of panic attack is fear... I utta have them, then I figured it out, it is just fear. After talking to a friend who was kinda mean, I just started having one, it was the strangest feeling, but I had to call her back and talk to her and face whatever was still hurting me. I try to avoid confrentation at all cost, but it got to the point where it would well up inside, and I had to be honest with her. I had a few, but after dealing with the emotions honestly, they just went away. I think they are fear of people and what people will think of us. Fear of rejection. I strugle with fear of rejection still. But, I am now, today learning to face fears, and people that may or may not like me and it is ok. This time you have a good cw, next time who knows, I have had cw's get so mad about that and try to make me feel it was all my fault a placement failed. I don't accept that. I do everything I can, as I know you are doing. And, sometimes it is just personality conflicts, you could have the same age children and have a totally different experience. Last month, I had a 2 &3 year old, They lasted 6 days. This month, I got a call for a 2 &3 year old, and these are the best kids I ever had. I have 4 now, 15 mo, 11 mo. and the boys, my house is just as peaceful as it was with just the two babies. All kids are different, and kids that have had no disapline are very difficult. So, don't feel bad. It is not your fault. If you could see the future, we would never make mistakes. It is ok. Put your family first and take care of yourself.

And in regards to your kids going to school. I think it is wonderful you make sure they are safe. Just don;t teach them to fear. I plan to homeschool my adopted kids to keep them safe.

[kamamsm]

There are no easy answers when you are dealing with humans- your family & these precious little ones. However, please don't beat yourself up if you can't cope. You are right- you did not cause these innocents to be in foster care. If while in your home they had the most love & concern you could offer- you must say job well done and let it go in your heart. We had to disrupt an adoption- the child was violent and a real danger to our other children. Some people here were very unforgiving, but they weren't having to live here & see the emotional damage done to the family. Also- the child could not get the real help he needed here- we weren't equipped. I was considered overprotective too. Now my oldest (14) is mature and very capable & independent.