[DawnandBruno]

Hi All! My husband and I are recently licensed (got our license beginning of month) and we were wondering how long it takes for a placement. We are open to any race, sibling groups but within the ages of 0-3yrs. If there is a baby with an older sibling we would most definitely take them (we are firm in NOT separating siblings). Does it usually take a long time because of the age group?

Looking forward to hearing some words of wisdom.

[Allieloopy]

Hi,
It took us a year to get our first placement. We wanted caucasian under 6. Sibs would be great. We were first called for 13 yr old twins which never came. Then for a 5 and 9 yr old who stayed 2 1/2 years. We had 10 kids in 5 years and one came up for adoption, I belive she is the main reason we were called to foster care.

When I felt that placements were slow I would call and leave a message with the placement worker, just saying hi, im checking in, or I would ask when the agency was on rotation. This was a private agency so if you are directly thorugh the state you might not have access to as many people as I did.

Attend whatever functions they put on, make yourself known to the people in the agency, they will remember you much better than just a name on the list. I don't care what people say about being next on the list and being fair, it's not done fairly and agencies can be biased just like any humans.

They are overworked and need to place kids quickly, so if they know you it's much easier for them to make that decision. Belive me, you might be crying for a break by next year, especially if you are open to race. Your wait hopefully won't be long.
Good luck!
Allieloopy

[DawnandBruno]

Thank you for your reply. We are through an agency and I wasn't sure whether or not I should call and "check in". I know our cw said that they are on call 18 days this month and I am not quite sure what that means. I also work at a hospital and have talked with the social worker there. I hope it doesn't take a year for us to get our first placement. Was it difficult when the kids left your home? That is so exciting that you will be adopting. We are hoping to adopt some time as well.

[Allieloopy]

When they are on call it usually means that is when they can get calls from the state for placements. I might get this wrong but I understand that the state gets the call, then if they can't place the child they turn to the agency on call. Ours was on call once very couple of months and I liked to space my vacations around it. That also gave me a really good excuse to call the placement worker. But you can recive calls at any time, from people wanting a kid moved or an emergancy placement.

I took hints from one of my kids bio parents. She would go into the office if she didn't get a call back. She was pushy and visable and I am sure that
they didn't like working with her, but darn if she didn't get what she wanted evertime. I am just trying to be pushy in a nice way I hope! I make sure to drop off paperwork whenever I can. Its easier to ignore an inbox pile than a person in the lobby!

It hurts like nothing I can describe when your first kids leave. You can go to classes, talk to other parents but it's really gonna be different for everyone. It's a grief process and it's hard to get through. The agencies don't offer any support it seems, you may want to talk with a local therapist for a visit or two after your first ones leave. It's still hard after that but at least you know how you will react.

Then some kids you will just not "click with" and even though you love them, you feel relieved when they move on. <grin>

My big problem is learning to not be in control. One of my first kids was sitting in my husbands chair at dinner time. I joked and asked him to move for the boss.
When my husband sat down, both boys looked up at me and said, in unison, "but I thought you were the boss!"

So you know it is a problem for me not to be in control of some situations! Foster care is praying, loving and waiting. Lots and lots of waiting. We had a little girl for 2 1/2 years and she still went home. Our adopted daughter was an emergancy placement and we were asked if we wanted to adopt her the same week she came to stay!

Just another reason to always stay visable. When we were processing papers to adopt Jessica she was still in therapy. The therapist asked why we hadn't petitioned to adopt her yet. It turns out that the adoption worker quit and our paperwork was buried in the bottom of a drawer. We almost lost the chance to adopt her because of the agency. When I have things in process I make sure that I keep in contact at least once a month.

The kids are actually the easy part! It's the system that is hard.